I'm walking to my class, looking for some good music on Spotify to listen with Julia, recently I realized that saying I had no time to talk with her was just an excuse, I was hurt, and I thought I overcame her rejection.
So, now I'm trying my best to be friends with her again, I said that I'd focus only on acting, but that's just an excuse. Almost everyone can deal with working and dating, so why couldn't I?
Once again, I opened the door and saw Julia, or so I thought I would, but sitting where I usually see her, was a blond, slightly tall, her deep oceans blue eyes focused, she was reading something, probably a script or anything similar.
The sun rise is lighting up the room through the window, the cold weather is warming up, the sunlight turns her blond hair into something similar to gold, her simple outfit only enhances her looks.
I was amazed at how she's pretty, so I took a photo of her, but I didn't turn the volume off, she looked at me when she heard the click of the photo, and I got myself in an embarrassing moment right now.
— Jesse? — I could only mumble her name, the current situation isn't something I could predict, and I don't even know why I did what I just did.
— Lee? Wait, did you… — She said, and ran to get my phone off my hand.
I'm taller than her, so I raised the phone the higher I could, so she couldn't reach it. She tried to jump and catch it, that was really cute.
— Wait, let me show you. — I said, she was almost reaching my phone, and my arm's getting tired, so I had to do it. I can't even imagine what happens if she sees my secret file in my gallery, so before she does, I'll show her the photo.
The file 'Me, Myself, and only me' it's top secret, I'd rather throw my phone into the river than someone having the slight possibility of seeing it.
I've clicked in the photo I've just taken and showed it to her.
I showed her, and to be honest, I did a great job portraying the scenario and what I saw. To a sudden move, I really did it well.
Her pupils dilated, it became way bigger than before, perhaps two times bigger.
— But why did you take a picture of me? — She asked what I was afraid of, because I don't know the answer.
I tried thinking many excuses, but I couldn't find one in this short time, so I just tried to be honest.
— I don't have a reason. — I said, scratching my head in an embarrassed way.
— I just thought you were breathtaking, so I did take the picture. I'm sorry, if you want I can delete, I know it wasn't right. Honestly, I'm not even sure why I did it. — I said, repeating myself, and feeling anxious about what's going to happen.
She looked at me, taking some time to think about what I just said. She did not seem to have any feeling of disliking it, so I think it's going to be ok.
I just hope that I didn't screw up one of my few friendships here.
— No prob, it's kinda weird, if I'm totally honest with you, but you did a great job with this one, so I forgive you. — She said, winked then looked at me again, and said in a dead serious tone:
— The next time, you need to pay if you want a picture of mine. — She said, I took a moment to realize what she said, then laugh till my lungs beg for air.
We were both laughing, when we heard someone coming in, and my guts told me something:
'There's danger behind me!'
I looked back, and I saw what I feared most, Julia looking at us with deadly eyes. I don't fear her deadly gaze, even though if a gaze could kill I'd be already dead, but what I feared most was she thinking I have something with Jesse.
— Hey, Julia, come here, this is my friend, Jesse. — I said, emphasizing the friend word, I know she doesn't see me in that way yet, but by the way she looked at both of us, I think I still have a chance.
Then, both girls stared each other, and I swear for everything's sacred: coming out from their eyes I heard swords clashing to each other.
I don't know what happened between them, but when I thought World War III would break out, their expressions changed, and they looked very fond of each other.
That made me sweat buckets, thanks god they called it a truce.
— Hi, I'm Julia, nice to meet you. — Julia said, I don't know why, but she sounded too formal.
— Sup, I'm Jesse. — Jesse, on the contrary, did what I expected from her.
After that, we spent a good time talking, and they got closer as they knew each other, but one thing I'm not happy with is: They sometimes look at me with deadly eyes, and I don't know the reason.
— My dearests friends, did I do something wrong?…
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Julia is going to school, whistling because she's happy…
Why am I thinking in the third person? It's creepy, I should stop doing this, but I'm really enjoying my day.
Only one thing bitters my mood: Lee.
Does he think am I dumb? What is this bullshit of not having time? I'm in the same classroom as him, and does he think I'll believe in it?
Hopefully, we'll be back to normal, I'm always thinking about his confession, and I still can't think of saying yes.
He's just a friend to me. Yes, just a friend. Nothing more than this. Maybe a best friend. Yes, nothing more.
In the midst of my thoughts, I heard laughs coming from my class, someone arrived before me, the only person I can think of is Lee.
I walked in, then I saw Lee talking and laughing with that girl who was in the same play as him. Many questions were in my mind: Why did she come here? Why am I angry? What is this bitterness I'm feeling?
The girl looked at me, then I felt like I've found an enemy. We were facing each other with deadly eyes for no apparent reason, then Lee came.
— Hey, Julia, come here, this is my friend, Jesse. — He said, emphasizing the friend word, somehow I felt relieved when he did.
We've kept staring at each other, analyzing and trying to understand this feeling, this… Competition?
— Hi, I'm Julia, nice to meet you. — I said, I felt that I needed some distance from this girl, but I'm sure this is only my mind tricking me.
— Sup, I'm Jesse. — The girl, Jesse, said. She seems a nice girl, I think I'm being a pain to her.
As time passed, we talked, and I was sure that my mind was tricking me.
She's an extrovert person, for what I understood from her in this short talk, she's seems to be so sweet and cool.
I know why Lee likes her, she's a nice girl… Well, he doesn't like 'LIKE' her, I hope. What did I mean with I hope? What am I even thinking?
I could only look at the person who's guilty, who's the reason I am in confused right now. I did not realize, but I looked at him fiercely, and when I got back to my senses, Jesse was doing the same.
— My dearests friends, did I do something wrong? — Lee asked, his face full of question, if this was an anime a question mark would be above his head right now.
— No. — We both said at the same time.
Looking at his expression, that seems he's feeling down, we almost felt pity for him, but then I recalled he's an actor.
— You can't fool me, Lee, I'm your partner, after all. — Jesse said with a fond smile, I felt nothing about it, or I tried to.
On one hand, I was feeling disappointed that she called him partner, I know that it's only a job partnership, but even so I'm with this strange feeling. Feels like I'm with Indigestion.
On the other hand, I don't know why I'm feeling like this. I made progress, day by day I'm feeling better, the psychiatrist also said I had huge improvements these past months, so I'm really having one of my best years at all.
Why am I always having such ambiguous feeling when I am with him?