Relief, that's what I'm feeling right now. Jesse is going back to her class, and now I'm feeling that a long war came to an end.
The good side of what happened is that now Jesse and Julia became friends. I'm worried with today schedule, maybe I'll need to reschedule with dad, but I really want to do something with him.
The teacher is now explaining the Linear equations, but dad explained it for me when I was 12, so I don't need to worry with this class.
My dad is eccentric, but I like spending time with him, the only bad thing is that he never has time, due to his job. That's why I'm so excited about hanging out with him today, I decided to watch Avatar: the way of water, with him this afternoon.
— Lee, is the question too easy for you? That's the only reason, I can think of, for you to be daydreaming in the middle of my class. — Said Michael, the bald teacher.
— Come up and solve it. — He said, obviously mad with my attitude.
I went to the blackboard, then I put my eyes on the question.
Solve: (2x – 10)/2 = 3(x – 1)
Then, after about 5 seconds, I came up with an answer.
x – 5 = 3x – 3
x = 3x + 2
x – 3x = 2
-2x = 2
x = -1
I put the chalk down, and sat back on my chair.
The teacher who was mad at me, is now looking at me with approval, seems like he's glad that I'm a good student. Even though I've already shown I'm good at studying these past months.
While I'm rejoicing that my dad weirdness made me good at math, I've got a message. I picked up my phone, but when I read, I almost shout out of rage.
[Sorry, Lee. I forgot I needed to prepare the things for the trip.]
Damn it, he's always making up excuses. The last time he said that he was sick, but the next day he was going in another business trip.
I'm old enough to understand that he's not a bad father, he's rather a good one, but he always lies to me, why doesn't he says the truth?
Yesterday he said he took the day off to prepare things, and now he says he forgot. Does he think am I a child?
I wish he didn't spend so much time on his work, but I know it's necessary. The problem is that knowing doesn't do it less painful.
— Shit, damn father. — I said, unintentionally voicing out my thoughts.
I felt, then, a poke on my shoulder. I tried to control my facial expression, to not show what I'm feeling right now.
— Lee, are you okay? — Julia asked me, seems like she heard what I just said.
— I'm okay. — I said, trying to avoid talking about it.
Honestly, I'm sure she noticed that I'm just avoiding it, but what can I do? I don't want to tell her my problems, she may see me as someone weak.
— If you say so. — She said, raising her eyebrow, seeming not to believe in me.
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— Dear, why did you say you would go out with him? You knew that you needed to prepare things for this trip, I'm sure he would understand if you explained it to him. — My wife said, she's upset at me.
— Jeanne… Sigh… I just wanted to do something with him, I really forgot that I had to prepare things beforehand. — I said, feeling guilty for being such a failure as a father.
— Dear, you've been forgetting too much, you may hurt Lee if things keep on this way. — Jeanne said.
I sent a message to Lee, but he didn't even answer, he's probably mad at me, because this isn't the first time I did this.
I'm a genius when it's related to my work, but I'm terrible in relationships. I still find it hard to believe that such gorgeous women is married to me, and I feel honestly blessed each day I wake up at her side.
We met each other in the college, she was always surrounded, she was one of our college beauties.
She was always painting something. I feel in love when I saw her painting, seemed that she was lost in that white canvas, she was making a new world with her brush.
Her eyes were always so focused, and honestly I had no courage to confess my feeling to her. It was only when we met at a party that I could talk with her.
Since then, I never spent a day without thinking about her, but when it's about our child I'm not a good father.
I'm always busy at work, dealing with the expansion of my company isn't something easy, and honestly? I'm using it to run away from the responsibilities, I know I'm a coward, but I'm afraid that I'll mess things up.
I know it doesn't make any sense, but that's how the fears are, they usually don't need to make sense.
Jeanne was about to say something, but we heard the front door opening, and my son was going upstairs.
He looked at us, but didn't even try to talk with me, seeing his face I'm sure he is mad at me. I think it's fair, I've been a failure to him, I've said I would change many times, but I never do.
*Sigh*
I'm really afraid that he will hate me if things keep happening this way.
My lungs were refusing the air, my mouth was dry and my mind numb, then, I felt a familiar hand holding mine.
I slowly calmed down, but my lips are still as dry as a desert.
— Lee, you should talk with him. — She said to me, her eyes were full of concern.
Yes, my name is also Lee, I gave him my name and that's why my wife always calls me dear.
I'm already a grown up man, but I am acting like a child.
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I've closed my bedroom door in a strong shut.
Seeing dad's face annoyed me more than I thought I'd be, I sat on my bed and began to slowly breathe to calm down.
Why am I acting like a child? I'm probably older than dad, but I keep acting like a spoiled kid. Seems like this life changed me more than I thought, I should talk with him, but he's the wrong one this time.
I heard a knock on my door while I was thinking about him, I already know who's behind the door, so I took a time to calm down.
Then, I got up and slowly opened the door.
Dad was standing there, his body was showing how concerned and afraid he was to talk with me.
It's like he's about to talk with the president and not to his son.
— Lee, can we talk? — Dad said, and I nodded.
He sat on my bed, then I sat at his side. I'm still mad at him, but I shouldn't be like a spoiled brat, he's my dad, so I should give him a chance to explain himself.
I looked at dad and his leg was shaking uncontrollably, he seems too anxious. Looking at his face, seems like he's trying to find the words to begin the conversation.
He opened his mouth many times, but not even a word was coming out from, then he stood up and was about to go out, I hold his hand.
— Dad, spill it out, I don't care if you take your take, just say it. — He nodded and then sat again.
After a deep breath in, he began:
— I've said it many times, but I'm sorry, son. — He said, seems like he was feeling guilty.
— You're right, I was just making up excuses. I'm just afraid of what will happen, you're growing up so fast, just like now, you seem to be more mature than I am. — He said, sighing many times between the sentences.
I was silently listening to him, and this time looks like he's being honest with me. It's rather strange to listen to the fears of your father, I'm struggling to think what I should do.
The thing of being mad at him, it's already on the past, like he said, I'm already an adult, at least on my mind.
— Sometimes I think you would be better without a father like me... — He said, and a big silence came after this.
Then, I remembered the days I had with that woman as a 'mom', and the days I had no one. It was like my mind has lightened up.
This life made me forget what is true sorrow, I didn't even noticed that I've being one of those spoiled kids I hated so much in the past.
What should I do? I can't think of words to say right now, and each second of this awkward silence, just makes feel uneasy.
I've made what I'd like to be made with me, I hugged him.
— Don't worry, dad. I'm not mad at you anymore. Just don't lie to me, like you said, I'm mature enough to understand it. — I said, then I remembered a thing he said.
— And never say I'd be better without you, it's hard to live without parents— I said, the second part was said in a very low voice, but I regret saying it.
What if he heard? How would I explain that this is my second life?
Seemed like he didn't notice, because he only sighed, but this time seemed like a sigh of relief.
— You really are more mature than me, are you sure you are not my dad instead? — Dad said, and I'm glad he's back to his usual self.
— I don't have such an old son. — I said, with a voice an old hermit from an anime would have.
We didn't laugh at each other joke, we were just too relieved to care about laugh.