The next night he called for her, long after Belfire had fallen asleep, and then she was staring, first at that white light above his door and then at the back of his head as he worked, but then he turned to her, his head tilting to the side and his eyes never blinking.
"You couldn't sleep either?"
"Quintus just got on my nerves," she said, but she hadn't expected him to laugh.
"Mine too," he said, and she looked at him, seeing that smile on his lips and that bright light in his eyes.
"You hid it pretty well," she said.
"I've had more practice than you. Go get your stool." he said, and she sat down beside him, watching his fingers dart across that red light, but then they stopped and he sighed, reaching a hand out to squeeze hers. "They're not freeborn," he said. "I don't know much about them, but I know they're twins. That's what he tells everyone anyway."
"So they were born here?"
"Somewhere in The City, I don't know where. There are a few houses that breed them."
"Don't say it like that," she said, a sharpness, an edge to her voice, her face scrunching up in a scowl, and he turned, staring at her from the corner of his eye.
"Well, what would you call it then?" he asked.
"I don't know, just don't call it that, we're not animals."
He sighed, those Implants flickering a little quicker, his fingers tapping against her hand. "It's called what it's called, Phoenix, what do you want me to do about it?"
"Just don't-!" she started, but then he was staring at her, those Implants flickering furiously, his face so stiff and tight. "I'm not an animal," she said, her voice so quiet, her forehead lining in a crease as he leaned in closer, his eyes narrowing into slits.
"I never said that."
"You can't-!" she gasped. "You can't say that, you just can't."
"Hmm, and now you're going to tell me what to do? Tell me, Phoenix, when did you become the Master?"
"I-!" she started. "No," she shook her head instead. "I'm not an animal, we're not animals, you haven't trained me, you're not breeding me, you can't-,"
"You said you'd do whatever I needed you to," he said, and she felt her blood run cold, her face going stiff and tight as she shook her head.
"No, no, I won't do that. You can't make me do that. I won't-,"
"I never said I would, you're the one putting words in my mouth."
"I'm not an animal!" she tried to pull her hand away then, but he was so strong, so much stronger than her and he wouldn't let her go.
He pulled her back, his face so close and scrunched up in a scowl, those Implants flickering so furiously, but then they both froze, their eyes going big and wide, and he let out something like a gasp, something almost like a whimper. She could feel it, something like a pressure or a light weight on the tips of her fingers, and she knew that she was touching it. He went so stiff, his cheeks so pale, those Implants flickering so quickly, and then he closed his eyes, giving his head a quick shake and he gasped.
"Slow…" he whispered. "Go slowly."
She nodded, not knowing if he could see her, her mouth so dry, her heart racing as he let her go, his fingers uncurling just enough to let her slide out from under him and pull away from that red light, but he shook his head, grabbing back onto her and keeping her there.
"No," he gasped. "Not like that," he pulled her, sitting her in his lap, his hand around hers shaking, and then he inched her hand closer.
His body trembled, his face buried in the back of her neck, his breath so hot on her skin, and suddenly she couldn't breathe. How easily her wrists nestled into the groves his had carved out in his desk, how perfect and smooth they felt against her skin. She gasped too, a sweet, light burning in the pit of her stomach, her breath catching in her throat. Slowly, so slowly he let her go, his hand snaking around her wrist and holding her there, and she could feel that weight all over her hand then, circling the tips of her fingers and she knew that it would work. She wanted to laugh, she wanted to gasp again, she wanted to feel that burning grow stronger and she wanted to use that computer.
"Wait!" he breathed. "Wait, just give me a moment..."
He held her so tightly, his breathing so heavy, his whole body shaking as she slowly, so slowly flicked her fingers, only closing a program like she'd seen him do so many times before, but he gasped, those arms holding her tighter, his breathing so loud and jittery. Phoenix smiled, a big, wide smile, a smile that was fighting to become a grin, but soon her forehead was lining in a crease, her eyes half-closing as she felt his hand slide under her leggings and she had to bite back a moan.
"Don't stop," he whispered.
"I-," she started, but all she could do then was nod, and then it was her hand that was shaking, her fingers a little stiffer and jittery, and she heard him gasping, a gasp that was sharp and strained, almost a little pained.
"Easy," he breathed, and she saw all those open programs.
She almost let go then, not knowing if she could control herself, not trusting that she could, but she clasped her fingers together, only knowing that she was finally using his computer and she couldn't stop now. She heard him laughing, a soft, airy laugh, his lips so close to her ear, and then he took her by the chin, turning her so he could kiss her, his lips so soft, so urgent against her own. She did let go then, turning in his lap, her fingers in his hair, and she felt him gasping, a big, deep gasp like she had just given him something great.
He had her in his arms, his lips on her neck, on her cheeks, on her lips, and then he had her on that bed, his hands still shaking, his breathing still so heavy as he slipped off her leggings. She closed her eyes when she felt him slide inside her, feeling that burning grow into a slow heat, letting out something like a gasp, something like a moan when she felt him all around her and he kissed her again, those lips somehow so soft, somehow so firm, his fingers digging in her hair, and she felt that heat all the way deep down inside her, her eyes flicking open as she gasped and watched those Implants flickering like starlight.
So long he kept her floating in that heat, his breath so hot on her skin, his hand sliding up under her vest and finally he let that heat burst, her eyes closing, her back arching and she gasped, a big, loud gasp, and felt him go stiff. He went so still, lying on top of her, his breathing so heavy, his hands still shaking as they trailed her skin, and he kissed her again, a kiss that sent hot shivers all through her.
When she woke she was smiling, her hands trailing through the covers, smelling that sweet smell of summer and knowing he was close, but she didn't find those dreads when she opened her eyes, her fingers going still, her forehead lining in a crease. She was still in that big bed, the bed she'd been in the night before, the bed that he must have been in to come back to her smelling like he did. She almost gasped then, her hand clutching at her heart, a different kind of burning in the pit of her stomach as she shook her head, her face so tight, her mouth going dry, and then she heard that door beside her hiss, her eyes flicking open to watch Master Gabriel step out with his face buried in a white towel. He smiled when he looked at her, his hair still wet and sticking up in places, a smile that reached his eyes as he tossed that towel across the room and sat down beside her and she bit back that burning.
"We slept late," he said, the corners of his lips twitching, and she reached a hand out, tracing the edges of his Implants and shaking her head again.
"Was I that boring?"
"They don't go off for anyone, Phe. Why?" he asked. "Did I seem bored to you?" She felt the colour rise to her cheeks, her breath catching in her throat, and he laughed, grabbing her hand and kissing her palm. "Some part of me is always working," he said. "I have a lot to do."
"Even when you sleep?"
"Yes," he said. "But it's more passive then… but I can do that when I want to focus on something else too," he added, and she had to look away, her heart hammering in her chest, that heat back in her cheeks, and she heard him laugh again. "I didn't think you'd be shy about it," he said.
"I'm not shy about it, it-, it just happened so quickly. I wasn't expecting it."
"Hmm," he hummed. "You can tell him about the Implants, Phe, but not the computer. That was… that was something else," he said, his eyes flicking to his screen. "I… No one can find out about that, you understand?"
Her mouth went so dry then, hot shivers in her stomach as she stared at him and nodded. He looked like he wanted to say something else, his forehead lining in a crease, his eyes never blinking, but then he only sighed, burying himself in her neck and sighing again.
"I wasn't expecting that," he whispered, and she felt him shake again, not as much as the night before, just a soft shake.
She held him, her arms around his shoulders, her voice only a whisper when she said, "I won't tell anyone."
"I know that, I-, just give me a moment," he said, and all day she'd catch him looking at her, only every now and again, his face so soft and blank, so blank she couldn't figure out what he was thinking, but that burning began to simmer again as she walked down her corridor that night and she almost wondered if she should just turn back around and ask to stay the night again.
Belfire was waiting in her room, not sleeping in her bunk, but with his elbows resting on his thighs as he twirled her comb between his fingers. All she had to do was look at him and that burning came back stronger than ever, a terrible, weightless burning that had her breath catching in her chest as he nodded, a slow, soft nod, his eyes flicking down to stare at that comb in his hands.
"You-?" she started, but that was all that came out.
"Of course, I do," he snapped. "I'm a Favourite just like you are."
She stared at him, her hand clutching at her heart, her face scrunching up in a wince, something inside her shaking. "You could've just told me."
He looked at her then, the light in his eyes going somehow soft, somehow so bright and sharp, but finally he said, "I should have."
"You should have!"
He stood, reaching for her, holding her in his arms so tightly, his voice just barely above a whisper. "I'm sorry."
It took her a moment, a moment to gather herself enough to nod, and then she smelt him for what he was, soapy, leathery and salty, and she closed her eyes, taking in that smell, thinking on it to make sure that she didn't forget it again, and then she pulled away.
"Don't look like, Phe, is it that bad?" he asked, and for a moment she couldn't answer, for a moment she didn't know how to, but then she shook her head, and she waited for those shoulders to drop, for him to crumble in on himself, but only he sighed, a bright easy sigh, and he shook his head. "Don't do that, I thought he hurt you or something."
"Does he hurt you?"
"No," he said, and then he looked at her. "It's not what I want, Phe, but it's not… bad either… It's easier for you."
She stared at him, her eyes wide and her forehead furrowing into a deep crease. "What?" she asked, a sharpness, an edge to her voice.
"I didn't mean it like that," he said. "You two just have more in common and… I'm glad. I don't think I could handle it if I thought you hated it."
That crease in her forehead grew even deeper, her eyes narrowing into slits as she stared at him. "What are you talking about?" she asked. "You're the one who gets away with everything."
He stared at her a moment, his eyes somewhat distant, somewhat hazy, and then he shook his head. "It's you that he really likes, Phe, he's just not being honest with himself."
"Why are we arguing about this?" she shook her head. "What does it matter? You have to stay a Favourite, Belfire, that's the only way to keep the other Masters away from you."
"You say that like it doesn't mean anything," he said, the look in eyes growing colder and darker. "Is that how it is for you, Phoenix? Is it that easy?"
She stared at him, feeling that burning building in the pit of her stomach. "What do you want me to say, Belfire?" she asked. "What's the good answer here? Should I tell you that I hate it, should I tell you that I wished he'd never touched me or should I tell you that I enjoyed it?"
She watched the light in his eyes go so dim, his face scrunching up in a deep wince, and that was all it took for that burning to melt away, her shoulders dropping, her hand clutching at the front of her shirt as she put her forehead on his, reaching to press at his heart like she would have with one of her own.
"I'm sorry," she said. "Let's just drop it… I don't want you to get hurt, Belfire, by me or by anyone else."
He sighed then, a sigh that was long and loud as he pulled away. "I shouldn't have asked," he said. "I don't really want to know, but… I wouldn't blame you if it was good. I wouldn't even blame you if you felt something towards him. This is it, for the both of us, but I don't think that that has to be all bad. He's not all bad…"
"I don't think so either," she shook her head. "I-, I do like him. I don't know what I feel towards him, but-, I do, Belfire."