Phoenix felt that stiffness in her chest, that weightlessness that tore through her stomach. She wanted to help Willow, she wanted to save her, she wanted to do anything but stand there and do nothing as Master Astor studied her, his eyes flicking between her face and Willow's, and then he unclipped Willow's leash.
"That's not a bad idea," he said, and Willow fell to the floor with her arms then free, but she didn't try to save herself, she only landed on the tiles with a loud crack and moaned.
Phoenix waited for that nod, her hands shaking, her mouth so dry, and finally Master Gabriel turned to her, nodding a quick nod and then she was gone, pulling that gag from Willow's mouth and wiping the drool from her face.
"Willow," Phoenix said, her voice so soft and urgent. "Willow, get up."
For a moment they only sat there, their foreheads pressed together and their hands at each other's hearts, and then she felt Willow go stiff and tense, felt her shudder almost like she had been struck by some current, and then she pulled her head back. Phoenix heard it first, that loud crack of bone hitting bone, but it took a moment before she felt it, tasting something in her mouth that was thick and metallic. Willow fought then, tearing at the bands around her ankles almost like she could pull herself free, her forehead bright red from where she'd hit it into Phoenix's face as Phoenix watched her, her heart racing and her heart aching.
"You're here, Willow," she said, her fingers tapping at her heart, but Willow didn't answer her.
Phoenix saw it, that darkness in Willow's eyes, that emptiness, an emptiness that she'd seen before. It was the same darkness any one of her people would recognise and Phoenix knew what she had to do, so she stood, taking a moment to spit the blood from her mouth to the floor, and then she clenched her fists.
"Get up, Willow," she said, and Willow stopped then, her fingers still gripping that band around her ankle, her face scrunched up in a tight scowl.
"The City take you, Phoenix!"
"Get up, Willow. Look at yourself, you're better than this," Phoenix said, a sharpness, an edge to her voice, but Willow laughed, a laugh that was sharp and cold, a laugh that was broken, and then she pulled at her band again. "How long were you free…? Stop that and answer me," Phoenix saw it then, that flicker of light, so she asked again. "How long?"
There was a moment of silence, a moment of stillness, and then Willow whispered, "Twenty-six years."
"I can't hear you. Get up, Willow," Phoenix shook her head, but it took a moment for Willow to gather herself, a moment when Phoenix almost lost her again. "I said get up, Willow. How long were you free?"
Willow fumbled, standing with her legs shaking and a deep wince on her face. "Twenty-six years," she whispered.
"How many?"
"Twenty-six," she said, her voice clear, her eyes were bright as they looked at Phoenix, seeing her for the first time that evening, and Phoenix reached for her, pressing her forehead to hers and her hand to her heart.
"You made it for twenty-six years, Willow. Don't forget that. You're strong, stronger than anything this place can throw at you."
"Quiet, slave!" Master Astor snapped. "I won't have you filling her head with lies."
Phoenix saw that light in Willow's eyes fade, saw her slip away, but she grabbed her by the arms and shook her. "Only the strong get to eat," she said, and Willow looked at her and nodded.
"So we hide in the trees," she answered.
"We are never seen."
"And we do not gather."
It was a while before either of them spoke again, a while that Phoenix felt Willow grow stronger, and when she knew that Willow could answer, she asked, "Have you-?"
"No," Willow shook her head. "You will, Phoenix, you have to. She's yours. You're responsible… Only the strong get to eat," she said, and Phoenix nodded, fighting back that wince.
"I'll be stronger…" she almost whispered. "You have to be too, Willow, you have to survive," she said, but she didn't expect the light in Willow's eyes to go so cold and dark.
"Shut up, Phoenix. You have no idea what you're talking about."
Phoenix didn't think so either, but Willow had to keep fighting, she had to do something and live, so she said, "This is it, Willow. This is all we're ever going to get, you understand? Make it work."
"They're not going to get me!"
"They already did," Phoenix said, and she hated herself for it, truly hated everything that she was and everything she'd ever been. Willow was right, Willow was doing the only thing that made sense and still Phoenix was trying to stop her, all because she couldn't bear to see her friend gagged and she couldn't bear to be the only one left when all of this was over. "We have to survive. What if… what if one day there's no one left? What if one day it's just us?"
"Someone's going to make it."
"What if they don't? What if something happens and we aren't ready for it? We didn't make it, but that doesn't mean we can't do anything. We can, Willow, you can, but you have to stay alive long enough to do it."
For a long while Phoenix thought that Willow was gone, that she'd lost her forever, but then Willow closed her eyes, then she sighed and said, "You're right… better to be prepared."
"Your father taught me that," Phoenix nodded, and Willow looked at her then, her eyes bright and a soft smile on her face.
"He did," she said. "Only the strong get to eat, Phoenix."
"So you have to be stronger, Willow."
Willow reached a hand out, when she pressed it to Phoenix's chest just above her heart. "You're here," she said.
"You're safe," Phoenix answered, but it was a long moment before those fingers on her chest stopped shaking, before Willow turned and walked back to sit at the foot of Master Astor's chair and before Phoenix could breathe again.
Phoenix stood there, her eyes fixed on Willow's face, a tightness in her chest that she couldn't shake, but then she heard it, a voice so soft, just barely above a whisper. "Phoenix."
She looked at him then, at those dark eyes, at those Implants flickering. Was that really all she could do? She wasn't sure and she wanted to ask him, she wanted there to be more that she could do, but she stepped away, going back to her spot behind that chair and feeling those fingers snake between her own, and then she heard that terrible laugh, saw him trail his fingers through Willow's hair and pull at it.
"Is that all it takes, Willow?" Master Astor asked. "Aren't you lucky you have such a well-behaved friend? I want you on your best behaviour now."
Why, with all the Masters in The City, did she have to end up with him? Phoenix fought that burning, her mouth so dry, her face scrunching up in a wince as she watched his fingers pulling tighter and that light in Willow's eyes already slipping, going pink and hazy and Phoenix shook her head, opening her mouth to speak and tell him to leave her alone.
"Enough, Astor," Master Gabriel said.
"Relax, Gabriel, it's just-,"
"Enough," Master Gabriel said, getting to his feet, nodding his head towards the corridor they'd come from and waiting. "I've had enough of your games for tonight."
"Don't go, Gabriel, you just got here."
"Enough."
That was the last thing she heard before the hiss, before the door slid behind them and Willow was gone, and Phoenix just hoped it was not forever. No one spoke when he climbed into the car, his face so tight, those Implants flickering so quickly.
"You-," Master Gabriel started, and then he shook his head. "You have to hide it better, Phoenix," he finished, and Phoenix closed her eyes, trying to bury that burning, trying to hide her tears.
"I know," she whispered. "I'm sorry."
"Stop it," Belfire said. "You didn't do anything wrong."
"Quiet, Belfire," the Master warned.
"She was helping her friend."
"She doesn't have any friends," Cassie said. "The only one who matters is her Master."
"Leave her alone, Cassie."
"She's right, Belfire," Phoenix said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I-,"
"Enough," Master Gabriel cut in. "Enough. Both of you come to my room when we get back."
Phoenix closed her eyes, feeling her face go so tight and stiff, tighter still when they got back and she saw him leaning against his desk when they walked in, his arms folded across his chest, his eyes never blinking. For a long while nobody spoke, for a long while she stood there with her shoulders so low and her heart so heavy.
"She didn't do anything wrong," Belfire said, a sharpness, an edge to his voice.
Master Gabriel stood, taking a few steps towards them and Belfire grabbed her wrist, pulling her behind him, and then Phoenix saw those dark eyes grow darker, going so cold and sharp, but it was a long time before Master Gabriel spoke, before he tilted his head to the side and said, "I'll allow this once, but don't mistake my understanding for acceptance. You won't like what happens if you stand between us again, Belfire."
"I'm not standing between you," Belfire said. "I'm stopping you from making a mistake."
Somehow those eyes grew darker, somehow they grew colder, so cold Phoenix couldn't breathe, so cold she felt Belfire wince and go stiff. She knew that he was so close then, so close to being that man who'd saved Belfire from that knife and she didn't want to find out what would happen if that switch was flicked and he turned on them instead.
"Stop it," she said, and it was a moment longer before anyone moved, before those Implants stopped flickering furiously and he stepped past them to sit at the table.
They both turned, her eyes wide and bright, his small and wary, and then the Master waved his hand, pointing at their plates as he filled his cup. Phoenix pried those fingers from her wrist, sitting in her seat with her head bowed and her heart so heavy.
"You have to be stronger," Master Gabriel said, his voice so quiet, and she looked up at him, watching those Implants flicker and knowing that he was right.
"I'm sor-,"
"Enough," he cut in, and then they stared at each other, neither of them speaking, but then he sat back in his chair, rubbing his face in the palms of his hands and sighing. "It's been a long day..." Master Gabriel said. "Eat up, we should go to bed soon. Wash up before you put on those clothes, Astor's disinfectant always smells terrible."
"We're staying here?" Belfire asked, and Master Gabriel stopped rubbing his face, sighing loudly and pushing his plate away.
"You two are giving me a headache tonight… You're on the sofa, Belfire. Actually just go wash, I want to talk to Phoenix."
Belfire hesitated, his eyes lingering on her face for a moment before he left, disappearing through that door by the bed without a word, and then she turned to Master Gabriel again, staring and waiting as he sat back, rubbing his forehead with his fingers and closing his eyes, but it was a long while before he spoke, a long while before those fingers stopped and he tilted his head to the side.
"He's getting on my nerves," he said.
"I-," she started, but that was all that would come out.
"Astor is a difficult man. He'll keep pushing like he did tonight, don't let him get to you again," Master Gabriel said, and Phoenix looked away, her forehead lining in a crease as she nodded.
"I'll be stronger," she said, but then she felt how her cheeks had gone cold, how they were wet and her eyes were stinging.
He held her to him, his hand in her hair, his breath hot on her skin as he sighed, and he was still holding her when she woke, her skin almost on fire, her lungs almost burning from those warm summer fields, and then he was gone, slipping out from around her and making his way to his desk.
Phoenix heard that clink of metal cutlery, the hiss of a door closing, and then Master Gabriel said, "Belfire, wake up."
She heard him stretching, sighing and tossing pillows away, and then he was there, smiling at her from across the room with his face still drowsy and soft. Belfire looked so warm, so warm in that shirt and trousers that wrapped around him, light blue and shimmering just like her own, and she wanted to reach out, she wanted to feel it and him under her fingers, but then she sighed, kicking the covers from her and smoothing the fabric of her own instead. It was a while before Master Gabriel tore himself away from those screens, before he sat at the table and poured them both cups of warm coffee as she watched him, his eyes dull and hazy, his movements slow and sluggish.
"Why did you keep saying that?" Belfire asked. "I thought-," he shook his head. "Only the strong get to eat, you've said that before."
"They're our rules," Phoenix answered, her voice a little tight and strained. "We have a few more that came along after, but… those are the main ones. We all-, we all follow them."
Belfire stared at her, his eyes never blinking, his face blank and stiff, but finally he tutted, looking away and staring at his plate. "Everything is about rules these days," he said, and her mouth went dry.
"Enough, Belfire," Master Gabriel warned.
She heard Belfire's fist slam into the table, his eyes so bright and fierce when he said, "Cut it out!"
Those Implants flickered so quickly, his eyes narrowing into slits as he glared at Belfire. "Speak to me like that again, Belfire-,"
"You have to get real at some point, Gabriel! We're still people, not everything is about rules, not-!"
"Get out," he whispered, those eyes so dark and growing darker, and Belfire stood, his hands still on the table, his chair falling to the floor behind him.
"I know the drill by now," he said. "You say you trust us, but making us live by your rules isn't trust. You're just controlling us," Belfire shook his head, and the Master stood, his eyes so cold and sharp.
"Address me like that one more time-,"
"And you'll what? What do you honestly think that you could do to me at this point?" Belfire asked. "You can't do anything, but I still do everything you want, I still risked my life for you, for the both of you, why do you think that is?" he shook his head. "You've got this all backwards. After everything that happened last night, the only thing you want her to think about is that she upset you, that's not right, Gabriel, that's not how this is supposed to be!"
Master Gabriel's fingers wrapped around Belfire's wrist, twisting his arm behind his back as he slammed Belfire into the table. "Do you really think there's nothing I could do to you?"