Something was warm, so warm, so soft yet firm. She felt it in her sleep, her eyebrows rising, her face turning towards it. Suddenly that stiffness in her back and shoulders was gone, suddenly her heart was so light and quick she wanted to laugh, but then she heard three hums of a wristband flashing and her eyes flicked open, and he sighed, getting up from the bunk and washing his face in the sink.
"Who-?" she started.
"Me," he cut in, and that burning was back in the pit of her stomach as he looked up at her, wiping his face with his hand and shaking his head. "I don't want to leave you alone with Cassie. She's going to be angry and have nothing to do all day."
She stared at him, not wanting him to go, but not knowing why. "She'll be fine," she said. "I'll be fine, I'll talk to her."
"Hmm," he hummed, his hand falling to trace his neck, his forehead lining in a crease. "I wasn't expecting that… All we do is argue."
She watched him, not knowing if she believed that that was all they did, feeling that burning growing and knowing she didn't want the answer him, but she shook her head, sitting up straight, her eyes narrowing into slits.
"Well, don't," she said. "You're out of the Fights, Belfire, make sure you keep it that way."
That crease grew deeper, his lips a thin, tight line. "You sure you'll be alright with Cassie?"
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"The last time you talked with her alone you got the rod," he said, and Phoenix shook her head.
"That was different and that wasn't Cassie."
He opened his mouth to speak, that crease growing even deeper, but then his wristband flashed again. "I get it," he said, glaring at it.
"Just go, Belfire, don't get into trouble over nothing."
He glared at her then, those eyes so bright, his face so tight, but then he sighed, grabbing his boots from the side of her bunk and pulling them on.
"I'll be back as soon as I can," he said.
"I can handle Cassie."
"You be careful," he said. "You're a Favourite now, don't take any of her crap."
"I think she keeps her crap for you."
He froze then, his eyes big and wide, the colour rising to those sun-kissed cheeks and then he laughed, so lightly, so easily, his eyes half-closing as she watched him and her mouth went dry.
"I do bring that out in people," he nodded, finishing with his boots and standing straight. "Look after the others while I'm gone."
She waved him away, not wanting him to be any later, wanting to tell him that he was going to see the Master not on a hunting trip, but she didn't say anything at all, only rolling her eyes and stretching her neck as he left. He was making a big fuss over nothing, that she was sure of, and that was what she was thinking when she pulled on her own boots and left. Those worn wooden tables were lined with fresh food, piled high with loaves of bread and dried meats and fresh fruit. She wanted him to be there, she wanted to see his eyes go big and wide and watch him pile more food in front of her, but she nodded to the others, her eyes finding Cassie and her bundle of blonde dreads piled on top of her head and Phoenix went to her instead. Cassie's eyes narrowed when Phoenix came close, jerking her chin at the others at her table and sending them away.
"Phoenix," she said. "Where's the other one?"
"He's with the Master," Phoenix answered, sitting down opposite Cassie and reaching for some food, but Cassie's eyes went even smaller, her lips so tight, the corners of her nose twitching like she was fighting back a scowl.
"Listen," Cassie said. "I know you like Belfire, but we have to be careful. He's an Offender, Phoenix, you saw what happened, they're going to keep coming for him and the Master's going to get hurt."
"The Master made him a Favourite."
Cassie slammed her hand down on the table, her eyes going wide as she leaned closer to hiss, "That doesn't matter. Think about it. What will happen to us if something happens to the Master, hmm? Just think for a second. We'll all be sold off, all of us, you want a new Master? Hmm, see any last night you felt like getting to know better?"
Phoenix's mouth went dry then, her chewing so slow as she stared at Cassie. "No," she said. "But the Master's not dumb, Cassie, he wouldn't have made him a Favourite if it would-,"
"The Master is human just like the rest of us," Cassie cut in. "He's not perfect and he makes mistakes. It's up to us to watch him, we have to protect him," she nodded. "You saw that last night. What would've happened if you weren't there?"
"Belfire would've-,"
"Don't get confused," Cassie said. "Belfire jumped in to help you, not the Master."
Phoenix shook her head, a part of her wanting to laugh, a part of her just wanting to cry. "He didn't," she said. "But even if he did, he still risked his life to protect the Master. Give him some credit."
"You don't get it, Phoenix, he has nothing, he is nothing. He was a Citizen, do you even really understand what that means? He's not like us or anybody else born outside of The City. He was born with everything," she scoffed, shaking her head. "And he threw it all away because he couldn't follow the rules. Don't get confused, he's bad news for us and he's bad news for the Master and it's up to us to watch him."
Phoenix watched her, finally finishing that piece of bread in her mouth, her face so tight and stiff. "You can't know that, Cassie, you don't even know him."
"What do you know about him, hmm? Probably the same things I do and that's not a lot. He broke the law, that doesn't just happen, he's dangerous and I'm not going to let him hurt the Master… Can you-?" she started, leaning in even closer, but then she shook her head, closing her eyes and pulling away.
"What?" Phoenix asked.
"Nevermind."
"Just say it, Cassie."
"Can you find out more about him?" she asked, her voice so quiet, her face scrunched up in a wince. "You know, from the Master's computer or something?"
"Why would I do that? You could just ask him all you wanted to know."
"But we have no way of knowing if he's telling the truth! Come on, Phoenix, think. We have to find out what we're dealing with and how-,"
"I'm not going to do that," Phoenix cut in. "And I'm not sure I can and even if I could, do you think the Master wouldn't notice? No," Phoenix shook her head. "I'm not touching that computer and neither should you."
Cassie sat up straight then, her face so tight, her eyes thin slits. "I don't even know how to use it."
"Good," Phoenix said. "And I'd keep it that way if I were you… Belfire's a good person, you should just give him a chance."
"He's not and if you think he is, you're just being an idiot," Cassie shook her head. "He's just trying to find a way to stay out of The Mines. I understand that," she nodded. "But that doesn't change what he is. It's up to us, Phoenix, you have to watch him and I have to watch the both of you to make sure you don't mess this up."
Phoenix stared at Cassie, watching that bright light in her eyes and how pale her cheeks had gone, and then she sighed, looking away to face the sand and shaking her head.
"I don't want anything to happen to the Master either," Phoenix said. "I made a deal with him and that's only going to work if he's around to hold up his end of it," she nodded. "I like Belfire, he's… he's a friend, but my deal is more important, you understand? I'm not going to let anyone get in the way of it, anyone, not even you."
"It's not me you need to worry about."
"Belfire knows what I think and what it means to me," she said. "He's not going to do anything to hurt my deal with the Master."
Cassie stared at her, her face so stiff, her lips and thin, tight line. "What deal did you make?"
"He's-," she started, but then she shook her head. "You first."
"Me?" Cassie asked, raising her eyebrows. "I'm not the new one around here, Phoenix."
"I'm looking for my sister."
"Hmm," Cassie hummed, and then she looked away. "Woodlanders are rare, if she can build a reputation, she won't be hard to find."
Phoenix almost gasped then, she wanted to, her heart a little lighter, her eyes so heavy, but then she shook her head. "Your turn," she said.
"He's keeping me out of the Fights," she said. "I can't-," Cassie gasped. "I can't go back. They took-, I just can't."
Phoenix nodded, watching the light in Cassie's eyes go so dim and her face go so tight. "You lost your first one?" she asked, her voice so soft and quiet.
"Yeah," Cassie said, rubbing at her face and taking a deep breath in through her nose. "That kept me going for a while," she said. "After that you'll do just about anything to make sure you don't end up losing again."
"Only the strong get to eat, Cassie," Phoenix said. "And you were strong, just stay strong now… We never thanked you for warning us."
Cassie laughed then, a cold, airy laugh, shaking her head and looking away. "No one ever does, that's why I don't usually help new slaves… It's all a game, Phoenix, all of it, but there are rules, that's why I couldn't tell you exactly what was going on, just like no one could tell me."
"I get it," Phoenix said. "You still tried, Cassie, you didn't have to do that, you didn't owe us anything."
"A loss for the Master is always a loss for us too," Cassie said. "Remember that next time you're in front of them, Phoenix… She was your friend?" she asked, her voice just barely above a whisper, and Phoenix could only nod then, watching Cassie's face go so stiff. "I hope it's quick," she said. "That's the only thing you-," she cut herself off, her eyes flicking away from Phoenix and Phoenix was glad.
She didn't know why she couldn't fight them anymore, her eyes so heavy, her face scrunching up in a wince, her cheeks wet with tears. Maybe it was adding those last three names to her heart that did it, maybe it was knowing that it was Astor that had her, but Phoenix didn't know, all she knew was that she was crying and she couldn't seem to stop, and then Cassie sighed, a soft, quiet sigh and she nodded.
"It usually is," she said, her voice so soft and quiet. "He's not a good Master, he-, usually they only last a couple of months. It'll probably be the same for her. It'll be hard, Phoenix, I know, but you can't talk to her, not unless the Master asks you too and he probably won't if he knows that you know her. He-, he's not like that."
Phoenix shook her head, rubbing at her face and taking a deep breath in through her nose. "Sorry," she said. "I don't know where that came from."
"The first few times are the roughest," Cassie nodded. "But Woodlanders are rare, you probably won't meet that many you know. There's that at least."
"You meet people you know?"
"Not so much anymore," Cassie said, staring at the sand. "It never really gets any easier and there isn't really anything you can do about it. Most of the time you just have to pretend like you don't know each other. It can be dangerous if they find out, they like to play games. Anyway," she said, clearing her throat and looking at Phoenix. "You're a Favourite now, that means he'll call for you more often. He-, he's a good man, Phoenix, he won't force himself on you, but you're a Favourite, you do whatever he wants and you don't argue, that's just how it is."
"I-," Phoenix shook her head, not knowing what to say, not knowing what to think as she stared at Cassie, wondering what things were like for Cassie behind that door and if they'd be the same for her, but then Phoenix shook her head again, looking away, her forehead lining in a crease. "He's been-,"
"He is what he is, there's no changing that," Cassie cut in. "You're not equals, don't expect things to be equal. Your job is to be what he needs."
Those words were still ringing in her ears when Belfire came back that evening, closing her door behind him and going stiff, almost like he hadn't expected to find her awake. He stared at her a moment, the light in his eyes something she couldn't place and then he sighed, coming to sit beside her and leaning against the wall. He was so warm, so warm she almost wanted to close her eyes and go to sleep, so warm she almost wanted to move closer, and he smelt it too, the scent of him like something sweet and heavy, like a hot summer's day out in a field of flowers and hay.
"How did it go?" he asked.
"Well, enough, I guess," she said. "She's nervous about you… How was he?"
"He talks too much," he shook his head, and she didn't know why she did it, only that she did, but she laughed, a soft, quiet laugh, a small smile springing to his lips as he turned to watch her.
"Did you argue again?" she asked.
"Yeah," he nodded, his voice so soft and quiet. "It's not my fault. He's always so bossy."
"And you're not?"
"Never," he said. "Turn around, I need to look at it," he said, grabbing her chin and pushing it. "How'd you get a scar like that anyway?"
She laughed again, watching that smile on his lips grow bigger and feeling a heat in the pit of her stomach, and then she brushed his hand away, feeling her face go soft as she smiled.
"I did it myself. I have Implants."
"What? Really?" he asked, his hand whipping up to press at the skin under her scar. "Ah, I can feel them. Why would you do that, Phe, and you did that yourself? Where'd you even get them?"
"I found them," she said.
"You found them?" he asked, and then he closed his eyes, shaking his head and pulling away. "Just how many corpses have you been around?"
"I don't know, a lot," she shrugged. "You don't have any?"
"I never needed them," he shook his head. "And besides, they're pretty expensive. They're not just something you get because you feel like it. How many you got?"
"Just those two," she said, her hand reaching up to feel them under the skin on her scalp. "I have a Radar I used to hunt with."
She didn't expect him to smile then, a big, warm smile and he nodded. "Smart," he said. "You found that one too?"
"Yeah," she said. "I can't remember which one came first or if I found them together. Sometimes I just used to collect things and figure out what they did after. I have one of those armbands too," she said, nodding at his chest. "He probably has it, I was wearing it the night I got caught… I don't know if it could do that though, would've saved myself a lot of trouble if it did."
"Hmm," he hummed, closing his eyes. "Things would've been so different if we'd found each other out there, Phe," he said. "I could've taught you what real food is and you could've made me rich."
She didn't think that was all that would've been different between them, her mouth going so dry, her forehead lining in a crease. She wanted to tell him that and so much more, but she only shook her head, looking away and staring at the wall.
"That deal sounds a little one-sided," she said.
"What?" he asked. "If you're going to dig around in corpses all the time, we may as well get rich from it."
Her eyes flicked to him then, that crease a little deeper, her eyes a little narrower. "I didn't choose to dig around in corpses, Belfire."
He stared at her a moment, his eyes wide and his face tight. "You're right, I shouldn't have said that," he said. "I didn't mean it like it was fun… You also looked good with the paint, Phe, I don't want you to-,"
She shook her head, the colour rising to her cheeks, a burning in the pit of her stomach. "Stop," she said. "It was just paint, it doesn't matter."
"I shouldn't have said you looked like a slave," he shook his head. "That wasn't fair, I'm sorry… You should ask for some, I'm sure he'll give it to you. He seemed to like it on you anyway."
She didn't know why that burning got so much worse, her cheeks so hot, her eyes going wide as she stared at the wall. "It was just paint, Belfire, let it go. I don't need it and besides we still have to train. What would be the point?"
He was so quiet for a moment, that burning growing bigger and bigger, her chest heaving, but finally he sighed, shaking his head and leaning back against the wall.
"The point is you liked it," he said. "If you like something, you should ask for it, Phe, that's the only way you're going to get it."
"But I don't need it."
"What do either of us need now?" he asked, sinking a little lower. "We're only supposed to need what he gives us, but we're still human," he nodded. "We're allowed to like things and want things and they don't always have to make sense, so if you want it, just ask. He might just say no or he might say yes, who knows, but you'll never know for sure unless you test him."