If we have the opportunity to reveal a secret, use it to the best of our ability. However, there is a sense of dread if the secret is exposed.
Nanang has just distributed the form for next month's event with the theme "Corresponding to the implied." This event was held with the principal's permission because the school stage will be held.
"This is it," said Nanang to the head of class XII-IPA 5, Kai's class.
"Thank you," said the class president. Nanang's eyes seemed to be looking for someone in the classroom, but he couldn't find it.
The first break had arrived. Diga, who entrusted his lunch to Kai then, went straight to his class, but when he was walking, he met Bella with her lunch box.
"No," Bella called softly.
Diga was silent and answered Bella's words only with a look on his face and raised eyebrows.
"May I speak for a moment?" she asked.
"I can't; I have to take this to Kai," answered Diga.
"Just a moment."
Finally, the two of them decided to talk near the prayer room because it was pretty quiet there from the other students.
"What is it?"
Bella was silent while playing with her hands, maybe a feeling of guilt was haunting her, and Diga's cold attitude made her even more awkward.
"I'm sorry," Bella said quietly. Her voice strongly hinted at regret mixed with shame in her heart.
"I already forgave you before you apologized. After all, all humans must have their faults, "said Diga, his eyes staring at the field and looking blankly at the other students who were playing soccer.
Bella's hands trembled at Diga's words. Last week Bella broke up with her mistress, and she just realized that what she did to Diga yesterday was the most painful thing; she wanted to justify all her past with Diga by apologizing, but the rice had turned into porridge.
"I just broke up with Keanu yesterday. I'm sorry for the incident you saw at the diner a few months ago; I'm sorry, Ga."
The word sorry is indeed a weapon for everyone who is guilty, and forgiveness is an obligation for those who have been hurt, but we must also realize that with the word sorry, everything will not be like it used to be. It's not the same as it was.
"I said, I have forgiven you. But to return to how it used to be, I'm sorry that I can't. Do you know how much I trust you? I never checked your phone. You know I'm a difficult person to get close to women, except Kai, but you betrayed all of that," Diga silently swallowed the saliva already in his throat. "I already forgive you, Bel. But to be able to go back like before, I can't," said Diga and immediately stood up from his seat.
"Ga!" called Bella and Diga, who continued their steps.
* * *
"Just shut up. Are you still diarrhea?" Kai said on his way home from school while guiding his bicycle because they had just bought ice cream at a mini market near the school.
"Why, people can easily apologize and then think that everything will be able to go back to how it used to be. I mean, why did you not think that when you made a mistake, it would be a mistake that left an imprint," said Diga in the sun's scorching heat.
Kai was confused because Diga suddenly said that.
"Hah? What do you mean? You're not stuck, are you?"
"No. I'm serious. Just now, when I was going to take you to your class. Diga pulled me over to chat and tell him that he had broken up with his mistress," explained Diga, making Kai frown immediately.
"Wow. Be brave, son; if I were there, I would have sprayed it all out. I've hurt you; now I'm apologizing casually," Kai said.
"You don't have to be like that, Kai. I've forgiven you, but I'm just confused about why humans do things that they already know are wrong but still don't do it."
"Yes, the name is human, and the place is wrong. We also don't know what's in his mind when he does it, even though it's wrong, but we still don't know what's in his mind. So, okay, if you can forgive, but I'm not satisfied if you haven't angry, Grandma Attached," explained Kai, his hands tightly clenched as if he wanted to give Bella a big punch.
"Yes. Alright. Eh, your class has been given the form for the student council event, the letters?" asked Diga to change the subject.
"Already. Your class?"
"That too."
"Who do you want to write to? Hmm, confused," Kai said, his hand on his head as if thinking seriously.
"Nana. Isn't it okay?" said Diga.
Two people walking down the density of cars and motorbikes have thoughts in the same direction at one point. Is this an opportunity to express feelings by not revealing their true identity, or is this just an opportunity for cowards who swear at all costs?
"Oh, it's been a long time. It's still next month; I just want to write a good letter to someone," Kai said.
* * *
"Assalamualaikum," Kai said when he got home. Raya is seen sitting in front of the TV with her legs raised and her hands busy playing with her cell phone.
No answer came from Raya's mouth; only a tiny voice came from the kitchen; mother answered Kai's greeting.
"Didn't you hear me say hello? Or are your ears covered with Korean-Korean music?" Kai said, annoyed.
Raya did not heed Kai's words; he immediately got up from his seat and went to his room.
The sound of the door slamming very loudly made Kai flinch instantly; his heart was furious, he wanted to repay his sister's treatment with an act that he was not wearing to do, but many obstacles made him not like that.
"Where have you been, Kai?" asked dad from behind the bathroom door. It was unusual for him to see his father still at home at night.
Kai didn't heed what he said, preferring to go straight upstairs to his room.
"Eat first, don't forget to take a shower, too," his mother shouted from the kitchen.
There was a tight feeling in Kai's chest when he saw the rest of his house change, an unpleasant change that made him not want to linger there.
Kai seemed to want to run away from the fact that his family made him even more afraid, the anxiety was piling up, and the pain he could never get rid of, especially his father. Somehow, a child who used to be so close is now like a vein with the sun far away until there is no feeling every time he greets.