"Mom, I have a camping event on Saturday at school," I said to my mother, who was busy tidying the dining table.
"Where? Is the place safe? What will you eat later? Is there a security guard sleeping there or not? If it's not safe, don't come, I'll let you go," my mother answered, full of questions that worried her son very much.
On the other hand, the worries my mother always expresses to me are indeed perfect, but on the one hand, they seem to curb me, who is already a teenager.
"No, ma'am, this is a school event that everyone must bear, really," I explained slowly to soften my mother's heart.
"Anyway, I have to make sure it's all safe for you, then I'll let you. Tomorrow I'll call the school."
I immediately walked towards the second floor; my ears were furious to hear my mother's words, who always restrained my every activity. Like a bird in a cage, the movement is limited even though I want to be treated like my sister, who can walk or do activities without bumping with my mother and father's permission.
Maybe to my mother, I was just a child who did not have a say in every decision; in her eyes, I was just a child who had to obey every decision my mother and father made.
* * *
"I'm sorry," I said softly to Kai, who was busy with his cellphone.
"Why the hell? Don't be angry; you're old!" Kai answered just because he was playing an online game.
"It's normal. My mother, I was allowed to go camping this weekend, but I was flooded with a thousand questions," I explained.
"YESS! DINNER CHICKEN WINNER!" Kai shouted with pleasure because she had won the online game.
After he finished, he looked at me sharply; his ears were ready to listen to my complaints today.
"Hmmm, yes, it's only natural for a mom to ask that. You've always been like that. I'm worried about you because, after all, she still thinks you're a child," Kai advised me in a shrill voice.
"Well, I'm already big, Kai. I'm an adult. I'm in high school. I have been treated like a child," I said because I heard Kai's advice, which I thought didn't make sense.
"No, sometimes not everyone can feel that their mother has given love. Now it's your job to think about communicating well with your parents instead of blaming them. It's your job to think about how they can understand what you want without them. You have to be hard on them."
"Because we won't be able to change other people's attitudes except for himself who wants to change, it's useless to be a goiter. Better ask yourself how good it is," Kai continued to advise me at length.
Kai's sentence pierced my heart, a thought that had never crossed my mind. I always blamed my parents for changing their behavior, but the more I blamed them, the more heartache I felt in my chest.
From a long time ago, my father and mother always arranged where I would go to school, what major I chose and what goals I had to achieve. Sometimes I wonder if I was just a child as a material to satisfy their ego that hasn't paid off as a teenager. Or I'm a robot they deliberately created to form the human they want?
I'm just like a stupid kid who doesn't have dreams and can't make up his mind on the thoughts in my brain. I'm just a robot for them.
* * *
Kai and I just entered the school gate; almost every day from kindergarten to high school, I always go to school with him because we are in the same complex, and the distance between my house and Kai is not too far.
Kai became the most trusted friend of my parents because of our closeness since childhood; every time I allowed permission, my parents always ensured I was with Kai.
When we were in first grade in high school, almost the same school thought Kai and I were dating, which didn't surprise us because it was confirmed that we were that close and were rarely far apart. One day, I ventured to express my feelings to Bella, a popular girl in my class, and all the gossip disappeared.
When I expressed that feeling, I was thinking about how to get rid of the strange feeling that I had been hiding for Kai, which I never wanted to feel for my best friend.
I tried to put my heart into Bella because some of her traits are in my partner criteria. Bella was intelligent, quiet, and didn't seem too demanding when I was more than just friends.
However, all my suspicions against Bella disappeared after seeing her true nature on several occasions when we fought; it was seen that Bella never wanted to hear my arguments and always wanted to obey her every wish.
I tried to accept all these shortcomings, but all my sacrifices were in vain. I saw him alone with another man in a restaurant.
My heart has broken and scattered. I don't know where my sincerity has played. I can only be silent without getting angry because anger is my weakness. I became traumatized in love, making me reluctant to put my heart again to anyone except my best friend.
"Come in," Kai said because I wanted to borrow his physics book.
When I entered Kai's class, all eyes were on me like I was about to pounce, as if I was easy bait for them.
"Why them?" I asked in a whisper to Kai, who was busy looking for his book in his bag.
"It's normal, curious. It's not only you who cheated on Bella, I or Bella herself knows, but one generation knows because Bella has been making a lot of noise on Instagram," Kai explained.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked, surprised.
"Yeah, what? I'll tell you rubbish information like that," Kai replied, smacking the Physics textbook into my chest.
I forgot that Bella was the trend center in my generation; many men wanted her because of her beautiful face even though there were so many qualities that she couldn't show to other people behind that beauty.
"Look, it's Diga, Bella's ex. I'm sure she's the one begging to be Bella's boyfriend," another student's voice heard talking about me. My attitude? Just silent until Kai pounded his classmate's desk.
"If you want to talk in front of the person, here it is in front of his face," Kai said, slightly, snapping while tiptoeing his feet to grab my head and hand it to them.
Kai is a friend with kindness that can't be explained with my common sense.