VLADIMIR'S POV
"You want to know why the fuck I didn't reject you, well it's simple. I didn't reject you because my pack needs a Luna. Believe me when I say that if not for that, I would have done just that, now get out and never enter here ever again".
Immediately those words left my mouth i regretted it. I had seen the fight leave her after I said those words to her. Her last words where she sounded defeated still rang in my head. I deserved the slap and so much more.
"I-I'm- d- done w- with –this".
I just couldn't rein in my anger when I saw her in here. I wasn't naturally mean and cold I just closed off since Selena's death and acting this way was my way of coping, a defense mechanism and seeing her here amidst Selena things when I haven't been able to take my mind off her since I met her just set me off and I closed off again.
Thinking about her alone made me feel guilty and that was the main reason for my outburst. I knew I shouldn't have spoken to her like that. I shouldn't have, my wolf was angry at me and had blocked me.
When our eyes had met at the party, I was shocked. I couldn't believe what I was hearing from my wolf, but my shock faded into joy, but immediately I felt guilty for being happy, when Selena was six feet under all because of me, she was killed because of me. I didn't have the right to be happy again. My wolf had been turning happily inside me. It was the first time since Selena's death that he had shown an emotion other than anger, sadness and guilt, but even though I wanted him to be happy I just couldn't. It felt like I was betraying her.
Then the day I had saved her from falling down the stairs, it took a lot of control there not to pull her close to me and mark her, my wolf had managed to break the control I had on him and was almost in control. That would have ended badly. At the last minute I was able to gain enough control. I even had to stop eating at the dining table so that I wouldn't lose control. No one could resist the mate bond, but sometimes it felt like our mate bond was stronger than normal ones. It wasn't like this with Selena and that made me feel guilty the more.
Immediately I had left the room, my sister greeted me with a punch to my face, which probably brought her more pain than it did me seeing as she winced immediately after. She continued screaming a lot of words at me, but I didn't really care because my mind wasn't there. I knew my family hated when I acted this way but it was one of the things that had helped me to resume my duties as the alpha after the tragedy. I couldn't afford to let my grief consume me, my pack had already lost their Luna I couldn't let them lose their alpha also, so closing off and blocking my emotions had worked perfectly. Until her.
The next day I wanted to apologize to her when she came out of her room, but she never once looked at me, she avoided me like a plague.
Well I wanted her to stay away and she did exactly that.
I tried again when she was alone in the kitchen but I just couldn't bring myself to move, so I turned and left. I was not good with apologies. I was thankful later that day when I received a call informing me that some alphas wanted to meet with me. It was a week trip, so maybe by the time I arrived everywhere would have calmed down, but I didn't think so seeing as my sister, Gracie, Henry, John and even Cora refused to talk to me except it was concerning the pack. I was just glad for the escape maybe by the time I get back I'd be able to apologize.
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