Things had already started to change little by little. the hard work was paying off. Ella who had been torn apart and broken to pieces by the harshness of the time was now starting to get together again. every day both of them met at the hospital whenever they had free time. they also started to meet outside the hospital. they had become very close friends unexpectedly.
"So, Noir. I have already told you a lot about myself, now you tell me about yourself." she said to Noir while they were having a coffee during lunch brake.
"Okay... what do you want to know?" he asked softly.
"Hmmm, let me think. I already know what you like and dislike and all your favorite things. I also know about your friends, Oh! right, you never talk much about your family. so, tell me about them."
"There is nothing much to tell about them. my mother was a professor at a university and my father is also a doctor. I have one little brother. his name is Clark. he is studying commerce. and that`s all about my family." he said but he seemed to be a bit lost suddenly.
"Ok, what kind of relationship do you have with your family."
"Not bad, it`s good, I am pretty close to my younger brother we are like friends to each other. and about my parents,.... it`s also fine." he said but Ella could guess that he too had some problems with his parents.
"And what about the person you lost and was very dear to you?" she asked curiously. but Noir fell silent all of a sudden. Ella tilted her head and gazed towards him. maybe this was something she should not have asked, she thought. but just then he replied, "Her name was Catherine..."
"Oh, was she your lover?' she asked. "....Yeah, she... was girlfriend. we were also good friends. since middle school, we had studied together. eventually we started to like each other. I thought I knew her the most but.... " he suddenly stopped. "But?"
"but maybe I didn`t really knew her." he sighed.
"and why do you think so?" she asked again.
"Because I truly came to know her when she had already passed away. she.... she actually had committed suicide." he hardly uttered the last words. "oh that`s surprising. I am so sorry."
"you don`t need to say sorry. Hah! I have already accepted it." he said reassuring her.
"but why did she do that? I mean you were very close so you might have known the reason."
"well, I actually am not sure myself. I mean she was always so cheerful and happy. she never seemed like something wrong was with her but...'he stopped for a while to control himself up, Ella held his hand to feel him assured. then he continued.' last time when we met, we had a little quarrel because of my parents. actually my parents were against our relationship and one day my mom had scolded her to leave me. she was hurt by al this but nobody told me. I did not had any idea about all this as I was away in another city due to some important work. when I got back she suddenly broke up with me by starting a fight for no reason. I could not understand why she was doing it. anyhow she left then. and then some days later I heard the news about her death." he fell silent saying this . his eyes got teared up
"I think I understand why she did it. maybe she also had something deep inside her heart which she was hiding from everyone. maybe she felt somehow incomplete and lonely and after breaking up with you she could not endure the pain in her heart and had lost the last reason to live so the best escape which she found was to end up her life with her own hands..." she said to him as if she knew all about Catherine. Noir looked up into her eyes which were fixed onto him in return. he could see the same familiar pain in her her eyes which he had once seen in Catherine`s. he then understood what Ella meant. he could see her dying like Catherine too. then he refused to believe that outcome and said.
" No, killing yourself is not a mean to escape from the pain in your heart. it is not something to make yourself complete. instead, it erases your existence from the world and even from the people you love. in order to get completed one should learn to live. you should not leave your story halfway but rather you should complete it. you should write it till the end even if you have to suffer in the long run."
"So, you are saying that living is worth it?" Ella asked quite seriously. "Totally." he replied.
"I think I understand now why you are trying to help me out so badly. why you are forcing me to live. but you know what I am quite surprised to see you like this so full of hope even after facing so much. I mean you are holding yourself together so bravely and truly I am really happy for you that you did not become someone like us in the end. you... really are a noble person." she said and smiled.
"Then why don`t you become like me too. I mean why don`t you just give it a try yourself." he said quickly.
"Noir actually you know what, i also want to be like you but... but I am afraid." she said in a low voice.
"afraid of what?" he asked.
"Afraid to be close to someone , afraid to trust someone, afraid to get attached to someone and then being left all alone. i am afraid to lose them because I am afraid of being hurt again.' she said softly and one could sense the fear in her voice that she was trying to explain.
"Humph,.... we all know that no one will stay by us forever but we still hope so. we hope that person to never leave us because we can not imagine our life without them. but in the end everyone and everything is just temporary, whether it is a person, a thing, an emotion or even time. so, Ella you need to change yourself now, you need to change the way of your thinking because if you keep running away from people and time like this then you will be left all alone even not by outside but probably from inside and you will no longer even have the time to repent." he said to make her understand what he really wanted for her.
"Hah!.. right." she said and it meant that she had finally accepted what he had been trying to tell her. she had finally admitted that she was at fault and should try to change herself but nothing is so easy, right. especially changing yourself in a totally different person, changing your set of mind about the world and people in it. because changing one`s whole point of view of life is not as easy as it is said.....