Clarrisa's POV
I woke up with a throbbing headache and I found myself right on the bed in a strange room.
Sitting up, a sharp sting surged through my thigh and when I bring my eyes down there, I discovered I had some stitches there.
Everything that happened yesterday came back to me. From the horrid dream, I had about my past, running from my brother, cutting myself, and then... then what happened?
I was still dwelling on that when I starts hearing voices—Angry voices to be exact.
" Whatever happened... it doesn't give you any fucking right to take drugs Jayden. If keep you doing that then what example are you setting for younger ones?" That was Antonio's voice.
"Well do I look like I give a fuck? You won't even ask where I went last night? What happened?" Jayden retorted in equal energy.
"Well, why will I ask when you weren't responsible enough to inform us?"
"Fine!!"
I Didn't hear any more voices again. My headache had upgraded to a new degree, I should be used to pains by now but it hurts so much like hell.
I Look around in hopes of finding a tablet, anything to relieve my head but I discovered that this wasn't my room and that's when everything starts playing. I can't go over the list, but I know I'd wronged my new brothers.
An offense means punishment. No, no I can't face any punishment in this condition. I can't even face them.
I needed to find my room first and think of a way to leave this house before any of them finds me so I got off the bed and limped out of the room.
Yeah, I was limping—my thigh hurts.
When I got to the hallway I suddenly didn't know the way to my room but finally, I saw a familiar door. It must be my room I thought and when I open it. Thankfully it opened but when I walked in I was surprised to meet someone backing me from that moment I walked in the person flinched and twirled around, and I was met with Jayden's red eyes—
he had a cigarette in his hands. As the smoke penetrates my nose, I nearly choked but I cared less about that, his delirious disposal was scaring the life out of me and as if murdering me completely, he yelled.
"What are you doing here? don't you know how to fucking knock? Are you that dense?"
I couldn't say a word, tradition held me rigid, and my lungs refused to supply me air—I was unable to breathe.
I fear many things in life and two of them are 'yelling at me and angry at me now Jayden was both and from my experience so far the consequences for that are beating or any worst horrible punishment.
The fear of what Jayden would do to me brought tears to my eyes and I let it flow.
Jayden's face went from anger to shock, his face crunched together
he starts walking towards me asking me what was wrong with a mild voice this time but I ain't going to fall for that. I had to escape so as he walks close to me I took steps back and just when I got to the door, the door opened... I thought I'll fall but I landed in someone's arms.
I look back and discovered it was Antonio's arms, matoe and Liam were behind him.
They all walked into the room. They looked at me and when they saw me sobbing they got surprised and angry looks on their faces.
A wave of anger that got me more scared? What if crying is an offense to them? It could be... I mean they are mafias.
"What happened here Jayden? Why's Clarissa crying." Antonio who was beside me asked, more like yelling at Jayden—matoe and Liam were both shooting daggers at Jayden with their eyes.
Got me more confused.
"I kind of shouted at her." Jayden blunted.
"You did what...?" Antonio growled.
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to. she just barged in my room without knocking and took me unaware so I yelled at... look I didn't mean to do that but I was overwhelmed with thoughts.
"I'm sorry!" Jayden seethed.
"You are sorry... will your sorry erase that damage that has been done? You gave her a fucking panic attack" matoe yelled this time.
"And How the fuck was I supposed to know she'll get terrified from just a shout? You better mind how you speak to me I'm your fucking elder brother"
"Well if you didn't disappear to god know where then you'd've known our sister has gone through enough traumas last night and we've bearly sort that out only for you to add to it by being a dick." Liam vibrated in equal energy.
Silence followed for a while as Jayden gave Liam a baffled stare.
He then asked Liam what happened and Liam told him everything that happened last night down to how I fainted and then called a doctor to take care of me, I was talking to a more conducive room for the night.
Jayden however continued to defend him and apologize while matoe and Liam kept shunning him.
They were going to pull down the roof of the house but thankfully Antonio intervened.
"Enough everyone!!" Antonio yelled and the noise seized.
"E Jayden Lascia che questa sia l'ultima volta che farai un errore così inutile. Nostra sorella si merita la vita da principessa per non essere sgridata e spaventata, capito?" Abortion say to Jayden in Italian. I don't understand that but I hope they aren't plotting something bad against me.
[meaning: And Jayden let this be the last time you'll make such a useless mistake. Our sister fucking deserves the life of a princess not to be fucking yelled at and frightened got it?]
"Bene" Jayden sighed.
(Right)
"E non credo che siamo in buoni rapporti. più tardi riceverai degli strike solo per far funzionare il tuo cervello" Ace growled. I don't know what it is but whatever it meant got Jayden uneasy.
[And don't think we are on good terms. you are gonna be getting some strikes later just so you get your brains working]
Now, their whole attention was on me. They all stared at me for a long time and during that period I wished I could melt into the air cause their eyes were intimidating.
After all the staring, Antonio asked how I was faring. He started in a way that shows that wasn't what he was going to ask but he just changed his thought.
I replied saying I was fine of which I was not anyway. First off, I didn't want to be here anymore so I'm not fine being here, secondly, I was having a killer headache, and third I was hungry as hell.
I badly wants to say those out but was scared and Though they didn't grant all my untold wishes but to my surprise, Antonio ordered Liam to get me medicines and told matoe to prepare breakfast for me, then when they left, he carried me in bridal style as he walked out of Jayden's room.
At first, I was melting in nervousness with the knowledge that I was in Antonio's arms but gradually a sense of calmness dominated me, I felt safe in Antonio's arms which got me distracted from all the negative thoughts I was having.
When we got to my room, I met everywhere looking so tied up and In new shape.
Antonio sat me gently on the bed and after giving me an intense look, he opened his mouth to say something but closed it, and instead he told me Liam will be coming to give me medicine, and then he left.
As he left, different thoughts rampage my head. I didn't expect Antonio to be all cool with me after yesterday.
He didn't even hint at yesterday. He didn't even scold me more or less punish me. For the most part, he even fought Jayden for my sake and now he's treating me like a princess.
Or...or maybe they want to get me treated and fed so I'll have the strength to take in everything they will do to me later. Now that makes more sense.
Minutes passed and Liam came to my room with some drugs and a glass of juice.
He checked my thigh and asked me if it hurt. I shook my head No. Hey, it stings like a bitch but I couldn't afford to tell him. That might trigger him to hurt me more on porpoise. Who knows?
"I added the juice cause you need to take something for the drugs to work," Liam said softly as he placed the glass on the bedside table alongside the tablet. I just nodded.
He was peeling out the tablet when matoe walked in with a tray of toast bread and egg.
"Breakfast for my most adorable little sister..." matoe bubbled with a smile as he drops it on the bed and Liam smiled at me... I managed to chuckle.
I took the drugs Liam gave me with water and then Mateo started feeding me. I did want to reject but...yeah they may look lively now...but that doesn't mean I ain't scared of them.
I was soon beginning to feel free around them both and enjoying the meal with them but my calm moment didn't last when Antonio walked in with Jayden.
I don't have a problem with Antonio—maybe but as I saw Jayden's face, my heart jumped. His angry face was still playing live in my head. I couldn't eat anymore.
Antonio tried persuading me to eat up but I insisted that I'm full—which was true. I lost appetite at the sight of Jayden I couldn't keep eye contact with him.
"If that's the case then let's discuss about what happened yesterday," Antonio said after futile efforts of getting me to eat. My heart skipped three beats at the mention. "Everyone get yourself a seat."
Everyone did as Antonio instructs. Antonio sat on the swivel chair and Liam who was leaning on the wall sat beside me on the bed, matoe and Antonio sat on the three-seater couch.
"So doctor Chris said your cuts were really deep and severe but thankfully you didn't sustain any internal problems. Regular usage of your drugs will get you back on your feet. Also during your healing period, you are not to stress yourself over anything. If you need anything at all, consult me or any of your brothers." He said calmly and I nodded. I glumped at the relief that it wasn't what I was expecting.
"Great with that being said I want you to give me a valid reason why you'll have to self-harm..." he asked silence followed.
My heart was heaving at that question. I didn't know what To say. I was shaking in fear. My brothers were staring at me curiously waiting for me to speak.
"I...I...I..no...nothing..." I stuttered
"That isn't an answer to my question. From previous reports, this isn't the first time you are doing it. Doctor Fred told me you've untreated scars, cuts, bruises, lacerations, and marks all over your body I told you before right? Aside from that, you suffer from PTSD. Which makes you tend to get startled easily, always on guard for danger, horrid nightmares, overwhelming guilt and shame correct?" He asked, his eyebrows raised.
I hadn't answered before the boys yelled.
"What?"
"The fuck..."
They all grunted making me glance at their faces. They all had this stun blanking them. I only swallowed the lump, I didn't know what to say.
"And according to my research PTSD doesn't only come from a horrible event of the past but consistent abuse now I'm gonna ask this one fucking time... who hurt you clarrisa? Who are they?"
That question caught me off guard. I swear I wasn't expecting it. I didn't imagine he'll ask that but now that he asks what do I say?
Should I tell them about my brothers? I looked at Liam and to my surprise his eyes were firebrick, he was enraged—
I know it's not for me but what Antonio has said, I look at matoe and his fist was clenched, fire emitting from his eyes... Jayden in fact looked ready to kill.
More reason why I deemed it wrong to tell them. I don't want any more trouble. I'll only be the victim in end, I want to live a peaceful calm life.
"It's..." I sucked in a breath. "It's no one."
"Bullshit!!" That was Jayden flaring up. "If it's no one explain why you'll fucking try to kill yourself" his voice made me flinch.
"I... I was scared..." I stuttered, my head bowed. I know that made no sense.
"Scared? Scared of what? Us?" God Jayden was so angry... so angry and looked no different from ex-brothers scaring life out of me. I was barely breathing.
"Enough Jayden," Liam yelled. "Yelling and forcing words out of her isn't gonna help a fucking shit"
"Clarrisa," Liam was now facing me. "We are your brothers you know that right? We are the only ones you have. You shouldn't keep your burdens to yourself. Let us carry it for you baby. Tell us everything we need to know so we can help you. If it's people who did this to you, call the names" Liam said with pleading eyes.
"Yeah give us names..." matoe spat.
"It's no one..." I whispered to myself.
Liam frowned in frustration, matoe was stunned, and Jayden's fist connected to the wall. "Seriously!!" He spat.
Antonio who was just blanked sighed tiredly. "È ovvio che non vuole parlare con noi. Non forziamolo. È meglio che la lasciamo in pace per ora" he said in Italian
[It's obvious she doesn't want to talk to us. Let's not force it. We should leave her alone for now]
They didn't ask any more questions. Antonio just ask me to finish up my food and they left. I was both relieved and panicked. Relieve that they didn't pressure me any further. Panicked at what they going to do to me.
Liam's POV
I'd suspected that something was definitely wrong with my sister from the start.
Right from that moment, she was told we are her brothers. I felt the sense of trauma she had just from her eyes.
Her weird behavior and finally when I saw her last night... the state at wish I saw her was like a stab to my chest. I died when when I saw her looking like a mess with the blood-stained on her.
I don't know what my baby sister has gone through but with the knowledge that she's been through abuse at all, got grenades exploding in my head.
I wish, I really wish she would just spill the beans. Just so I'll make any asshole who laid a hand on her to regret his existence.
I may be cool but I hate who I am when bastards mess with my family. You don't mess with a de costa.
When we left the room, Antonio called everyone up for a meeting in the living room.
"I'll just go straight to the point. What do you guys think we should do about our sister?" Antonio started giving us his back. The rest of us were seating while he was standing facing the window.
"She's lying to us" Jayden spat, spitting nails.
"We fucking know that already" Antonio growled.
"Since she doesn't want to tell us anything then let's take the initiative to find out ourselves. Ask John to do a background check on her. I want to make those bastards who abused her experience purgatory"
John is one of our most trusted men who run installs for us.
In a sense, Jayden had a point but my mind was against it. I mean if our sister doesn't want us to know her past then why should we invade? What if she gets mad at us and never forgives us? That's the last thing I want.
"I don't think that's right. Clarrisa doesn't want us to know her past obviously. I think we should respect her Decision. If she finds out we're doing a check on her, she might get it all wrong and never forgives us instead let's just be nice and earn her trust. She'll certainly tell us everything someday" I opined.
Antonio turns round to face me.
"I actually agree with that. You have a point." He said, nodding.
Matoe agreed with me too but Jayden didn't. He kept insisting that we research her and get unnecessarily angry. Well, I know he has IED issues but sometimes he just goes overboard.
His savior is that I respect my elder bros but I might have broken that respect if not that I left his presence on time.
Before I went to my room, I went to check on clarrisa. Antonio earlier warned us not to go disturb her but I couldn't help it.
She looked a mess and terrified when I left her so I just needed to make sure she was okay and thankfully she was. I met her sleeping soundly.
I just adjusted her well on the bed before going to my room to attend to my business on my computer.
I Don't Work with my brothers in the mafia, I just learn coding languages and school for now. Yeah, I'm still a high schooler, sucks!