My brothers' hatred for me has taken a new shape.
They no longer just bully me, but every weekend, they will ask me to dress up and take me out to men.
My body became their money-making machine.
I wasn't only having bruises on my body now but my Virginia was all bruised cause of the sizes of dicks that fits in there.
Everything just hurt and It got to some extent I could no longer take it so I confronted mum in the kitchen one morning.
"Mother," I called softly as I walked into the kitchen. Mum turned round to face me.
"Good morning baby. You are awake." She smiled at me and I just nodded as I walked in fuller.
"Why are you having bags under your eyes? Don't tell me you read overnight." Mum asked.
She knows I always read overnight but for weeks now I haven't even opened my book.
The truth is I have been crying all through the night.
"I had an assignment." I lied.
She sighs. "Okay, I know my little Princess is a bookworm and I'm very proud of you but don't work your eyes off okay." She smiled and roughed my hair playful.
I tried to smile but I could only nod.
"Now go and get dressed for school, let me hurry over breakfast." She said and went back to what she was doing.
But I stood rooted at a spot.
Why was I here?
Okay maybe I know why I'm here, I want to pour out my heart to her, I want to tell her what's happening in my life.
What my brothers have turned me into, I want her to feel my pains and all I need from her is comfort. Motherly comfort.
I've waited all this while for her to finally notice it but why can't she see it?
"Mum..." I called softly and a tear escaped my eyes.
She turns again to face me and she frowns on seeing me.
"What's wrong??"
I sniffled trying to hide the tears but instead, they start pouring out like a River escaping a dam.
"My bro...They...I want to leave." My head falls to the tithe ground as he escapes my lips.
"Baby??" She brushed my hair back and cupped my face into her palms. "What do you mean???"
"I want to leave home. I don't want to be here anymore. Just let me go that's all I ask for." I cried.
"You can't just leave like that. What happened? Did someone hurt you? Was it one of your brothers you can talk to..."
"No," I cut her off immediately. "They didn't do anything. I just want to leave. I want to be alone." I can't risk telling her about them. She will only scold them and pet me to stay while I'll turn out to be the victim.
I tried persuading mum to allow me to leave but instead, she ended up petting me to stay.
And thinking about it, where would I have gone to? I just listened to Mum but was glad I didn't make mention of my brothers.
"Clara" mum called when we were all having breakfast. All five of us were reclining around the big dining table. "My car is bad I wouldn't be able to take you to school today but you'll join your brothers in theirs okay." She told me.
"What??" Dennis flared up.
"Our car is already occupied enough, we can't accommodate someone else," Jake complained and all of them starts complaining until mum shut them up.
"Clarissa will go with you guys whether you like it or not and if I hear any more complaints from you now, I'll Seize your car and even your phones. Am I clear??" Mum barked at them sternly and they grudgingly nodded, glaring at me from the corners of their eyes.
"Mum it's okay, I could just stay at home and go to school tomorrow," I said quirky.
"No dear You are going to school with your brothers okay." She gave me warm smile and I nodded.
After having breakfast, mum left me for my brothers and I drove in the car with them but as soon as we got to the highway, they threw me out of their car and asked me to trek down to school.
As if nature was backing my brothers up, the rain came pouring without even a warning. The rain was so heavy and I thought of taking refuge but school was way far off so not wanting to be late for school, I have to trek down to school under the rain.
By the time I got to school, I was freezing all my books were all wet.
School is another hell for me.
My brothers are quite popular here but I'm the opposite of them, I'm bullied by almost everyone in the school and my brothers do nothing about it.
All through the day, I was seriously sick.
I could barely pay attention in class.
When mum came to take me from school.
She discovers I was having a fever and also my books were wet.
I couldn't think of a way to cover up for my brothers as it was obvious I trekked in the rain.
Mum wanted to take me for treatment but I refused.
The doctors will surely find out about my bruises and cuts and then tell mum.
About the cuts, well I've been cutting myself with objects lately. It's my latest way of comforting myself when I'm depressed.
I don't know how I'll explain things to mum so I told her to just get me drugs instead.
She concluded I was scared of injections so she got me drugs.
With the looks on mum face, I know that my brothers are gonna get it from her.
And since I'll be the victim, in the end, I decided to hide in the garden.
I stayed in the garden enjoying the view of beautiful birds and flowers.
"Finally here she is." The voice made me flinch and when I look to my side to see Dennis and Jake walking toward me. Conniption gripped me.
What are they doing here? As if reading my mind, Jake spoke the moment he got to me. "Mum asked us to come to apologize to you for what happened earlier today."
"Umm... about that.." I gulped hard and stood up from the pew I was sitting on. "You can forget about it... it's nothing."
They look at me for a while and then burst into laughter.
"You didn't believe we will actually apologize to you. Do you??" Dennis said and I shook my head no.
"Good.. we just came here to put you in your place. You may be related to us by blood but to me you don't exist so don't ever expect me to treat you nicely. Besides, I never asked mum for a sister and if it was up to me, you should have been the one to die instead of dad." He said with so much disgust and venom in every bit of his words. flashing me a condescending look.
Tears from nowhere blurred my vision.
I don't know if his words hurt more than the physical pains they inflict on me.
"You can go fuck your self I don't care," Dennis concluded and left with Jake.
Tears Rained down my eyes as I watched them leave.
What have I done to deserve such hatred from them?? Am I that loathsome??
Each passing day, my brothers' hatred continued to grow and I was always depressed most of the time.
My sketchbook became my world of solace.
One certain day I was depressed and as usual, I went to my locker to get my sketchbook but I couldn't find it.
I search everywhere but it was nowhere to be found.
I went on a search party moving about the whole house.
Carefully checking all hidden places and bringing out a few documents.
While I was searching I would also take glances at the files and most of them were dad's documents which I don't really understand.
In the process of searching, I saw a pile of papers that had the inscription.
'Lilypad Orphanage certificate'
I picked interest in the file.
As I sat down on the floor, I started flipping it page by page and I don't quite understand what the first page was saying but as I got to the third page.
All my details were there, my name and date of birth.
The only difference was the surname.
It bears CLARISSA DE COSTA instead of Clarissa Clifford. Which is my surname.
And left me wondering who is Clarissa De COSTA.