"So, mind activating that skill, I'd prefer not to die here." I say, looking at my severe wounds, "Never mind, I think these wounds are going to do me in any second… Wait, why has the pain stopped?"
[Oh, that. You wouldn't stop crying, so I dulled your pain so we could talk, and your new skill should fix that.] Pima adds with a cheeky emoji.
"Thanks, I didn't think you could be so consider- Fuck!" I shout as I feel a pain almost as great as when that skeletal zombie was tearing into me, as my body begins to restore itself as the muscle and bone reset and scar tissue begins to cover all my open wounds, and I can see my body being forcibly mended together.
[Is something wrong? I thought since you were going to be fine, I should stop dulling your pain.] Pima adds with a tongue out emoji.
"ASSHOLE!!!" I shout through gritted teeth before I finally get the pain under control and slowly begin to stand, dusting myself off and examining some of the changes to my body through some safety glass separating the various shooting stalls.
Most noticeable after the shredded clothes and blood covering my body were the scars that now covered all the injuries I had sustained in that fight, and the most shocking and mesmerizing of all was how my eyes changed. My Irises had become an ever-shifting collage of iridescent colors and hues, changing their colors every second, never settling on one or repeating a previous color.
"Pima… What happened to me?" I asked, almost mesmerized like Narcissus before their blue screen drew my attention.
[Oh, your eyes? Or did you mean your terrible decision-making that led to your near death if not for my assistance?] Pima adds with a grinning emoji.
"The former, if you don't mind." I say with exasperation.
[Did I forget to mention the risk of random mutation when using AVLP to forcibly modify your body?] Pima adds with an innocent whistling emoji.
"Yes, you did. Also, what's with the weird text emoji use?" I ask, confused about its teenage level of emoji use.
[You'd do the same if you didn't have a face to express your emotions through.] Pima adds with a frowning emoji.
"Fair point… And what was that about terrible decision-making?" I say, glaring at the blue screen.
[Should I list out all of your mistakes or just the highlights? I'll choose the highlights; maybe you'll actually be able to keep up.]
[1. While gathering food, allies, resources, and contacting those you care about was an excellent first step, you pushed off securing and patrolling the area around you in favor of hunkering down. While not definitively a wrong choice, it wasted valuable time.]
[2. While in pursuit of gathering those in the other dorms you left everyone to their own devices aside from some minimal direction.]
[3. Once you finally decided to explore and scout out your surroundings, you not only went out with no weapons but even decided it was a good idea to split your groups before even finding out why no zombies had approached the massive group of uninfected individuals.]
[Is that enough, or should I continue? For a self-proclaimed doomsday prepper, you are surprisingly unprepared.] Pima concludes with a disapproving emoji.
"Alright, I might have made a wrong turn here and there, but there's a damn apocalypse going on! I'd be more terrified of those who act like this is just any other day." I argue back.
[Well, I know no other hairless apes like the host. So I'll just take your word for it.] Pima says with a sarcastic emoji.
"So, what should we do now-" I begin to ask before I hear the stomping of feet just outside the open doorway before Pompous Prick (Lawerence) barges in a panic, shakily holding a shotgun from the armory.
"You're alive?!" He asks in shock, "That asshole John said that you died to that zombie before another one of those things showed up and forced us to split up again. But when it showed up, John locked the main station door behind him, leaving us all trapped in here!"
"You've got to be shitting me! I'm going to choke that bastard when I get my hands on him!" I growl, moving to help lift up the knocked-down door as a familiar skittering sound is heard on the other side.
The creature begins banging on the makeshift door barricade, just as we're able to brace it, harder than the last time, causing Pompous Prick (Lawerence) to drop the shotgun as it's knocked away.
"Shit, man, why does everyone keep dropping their guns?! We need a damn bungee cord or something!" I shout before ordering, "Grab that thing and get ready to blast this fucker once I open the barricade!"
"A-alright!" He stammers before sliding from the door barricade and diving to grab the shotgun as that thing bursts through the shoddy door barricade, and Pompous Prick (Lawerence) pulls the trigger, nailing it in the dome as it was about to sink its bony claws into me.
"Damn! Nice shot-... Why the hell are your eyes closed?! You could have blown my head off!" I shout, yanking the gun from his hands before putting the safety on.
"I'm sorry, I was just so nervous, and I thought I was about to die, and it was all happening so fast... Wait... What happened to you? You looked like you lost a fight with a chainsaw. Ah God! there's another one!" Lawrence exclaims in shock, finally noticing the other dead zombie in the corner.
"Oh yeah, about that. Looks like the virus actually helps me? Like the T-Virus in Opossum City in the movie Renter's Evil. If not for that, I'd be dead." I explain as time seems to freeze, and I lose full control of my body, and a blue screen flashes before my eyes.
[Excuse me? I think you're forgetting someone.] Pima says with a glaring emoji.
"What's going on? Why can't I move?" I ask in my thoughts as my voice isn't working.
[I just enhanced your perception and neural functions so we could talk privately about you not giving me the credit I deserve!] Pima says with a pouting emoji.
"I didn't think I was supposed to talk about such an amazing system! Imagine the trouble that'd follow if someone found out?" I say trying to calm Pima down.
[You really think I'm amazing?] Pima says with a raised eyebrow emoji.
"Absolutely! You're the greatest system I know! Now do you mind letting me go?" I ask.
[Oh stop it, you're going to make me blush.] Pima says with a blushing emoji.
And with that time returns to normal as Lawrence speaks once more.