"I love you, Ms. Akira O'hara." There, I said it. I finally said those three words to the woman who took my heart the moment I laid my eyes on her.
"And not just as a friend. I have loved you since the day I met you. And I have fallen deeper in love as we got to spend more time together. Why do you choose to not see that? Why do you build up walls between us? Why do you pretend you do not feel the same way? How long will you deny me and fool yourself into thinking that what we have is just friendship? What do I have to do to make you see beyond our friendship?" I whispered. Oh God, why am I so nervous right now? I don't even feel this way whenever I meet with investors to close business deals. And why is she not saying anything? Did I read her wrong? Was I really just a friend to her? No. I am certain that the attraction between us is very real. Very raw and very potent. I am certain that she sees me as more than just one of her dear friends. I mean, she allows me to kiss her all the time. Although those kisses are chaste, still, I am certain she does not allow her other 'dearest friends' to kiss her on the lips. So why is she trying to deny herself? Why is she denying me? Why is she denying 'US'?
She froze. And then, closed her eyes and moved away from me. Fuck. Is she really that scared accepting that what we share is beyond friendship? Or did I really read her wrong? Fine. I get it. I sighed. I just need to drop this for now. I've been patiently waiting for her for the past few years, I can definitely wait some more.
"It's been a long day. You better rest Kira. Just let Liam know when you want to have dinner. I will retire for the day and will not be joining you for dinner. See you tomorrow." I stood up and left her to her thoughts. Clearly, she needed time to gather her thoughts and find the words to tell me that I am just mistaken, that my feelings for her are not real. She will definitely make up a story in her mind denying the attraction between us. Sigh. Keep your promise to her dad, Damascus. Even if she rejects you, you have to keep your promise that you will stay by her side.
I love you, Kira. I really do. And I know you feel the same way too. When will you stop denying yourself? Denying me? Denying us?
I went to my room and changed into my gym shorts. I need to clear my head. I need some adrenaline rush. I already said my piece. It is now up to her. I do not know how long I have been sweating. After lifting, I decided it was not enough. I still needed to release some tension so I went to take it out on the punching bag and throw some punches. Argh. Kira, I love you, I love you, I love you! I kept on screaming inside my head. Do not pull away. I didn't mean to scare you off by running my mouth like that. It's just that, I tend to lose my composure when you're involved.
I felt her standing at the doorway, not moving. It has started. Knowing her, she is going to run away from this. She will definitely not come in here and will do her best to avoid me for as long as she can. She will make excuses and find ways to avoid having to talk to me again about this. She will pretend as if I never said anything to her. Fuck it, Kira. Do not pull away. Please. I will take it for now. I will be one of your 'dearest friends' for now. Just don't pull away. I take back what I said. Fuck!
"Stay. You do not need to walk on eggshells around me. This is your home too, Kira. You may do whatever you want. I do not want you to be uncomfortable around me and in our…" I caught myself, "...in this house. Just forget what I said earlier, Kira." I then went out to give her space. I walked back to my room straight to the bathroom. A good hot shower will help. Damn! I should have handled this better. I shouldn't have just blurted out my feelings like that and during the time she felt aggrieved because I made decisions for her. After a few good minutes under the hot shower, I felt tired. Accomplished in a way that I was finally able to tell her I love her. Yet defeated. Defeated because I could have chosen a better time to confess how I truly feel for her.
I decided to call it a day and went to bed. A good sleep will help me decide on how to deal with Kira tomorrow. After what seemed like hours of tossing and turning, I gave up on sleep. I decided to go to my study and get some work done instead. Heck, I better call Michael. Clearly, he can help me with this. Or should I call Ellie? No. Ellie will just nag right now. But Michael will also just annoy me. Fuck it.
***Mike's POV***
Ring, ring, ring. Click.
"Hey Mike."
"What do I owe this pleasure of receiving a call at such an ungodly hour?" I grunted and slowly stood up from the bed, trying not to wake the woman sleeping beside me. I stepped out of the room and went to the kitchen.
"Speak"
"I told her."
"Congratulations! This will be your first trip as a couple!" I chuckled. I opened the refrigerator to see what I can easily munch on. Not finding anything that is of interest, I decided to pour myself a glass of cranberry juice instead.
"Save the congratulations. I messed up."
"Wait. What do you mean by that?"
"I told her and now she's avoiding me. She just sat there, Mike. After I told her that I love her and I've loved her since I met her and I am so in love with her now. She froze. She kept on insisting that I am just joking around and that me being interested in her is impossible. She said that I am just one of her dearest friends and she does not want… I don't know, man! I told her. I thought all will be well. I thought after finally telling her…
"You thought what? That she'd just jump up and down out of sheer joy, hug you then share the bed with you?"
"What?! Hell no!"
"No?"
"Well. Not really the jump up and down part, but the hug and probably a kiss? Of course I am aware she will not move into my room and share my bed right away."
"Hey, can you please give me back my old friend now? Whoever you are, I do not know you! Give Damascus back to us!" I teased.
"You prick! I'm serious here, Mike. She put up more walls this time. She might pull away. Heck, she might just move out and ghost me!" He desperately snapped.
"Hahahaha. Who would have thought that the 'Great Damascus Lee' knew fear?"
"Mike!"
"Okay, okay. Did she really outright reject you? Did she tell you that she does not feel the same way or did she just not say anything at all?"
"Well. No outright rejection. She looked confused though. And she kept on insisting that I should stop joking around."
"Hmmm. What else?"
"She said that I should not start something that I cannot finish. I already told her I love her and she takes it as a joke? Do I look like a jester to her?! Am I a fucking joke to her?"
"Bingo!"
"What?! I'm a joke?!"
"No, you fool! Knowing you, you probably blurted out shit that didn't make sense to her. And knowing her, how she balks when it comes to matters of the heart, she was shocked with your confession. And did she not say that you should not start something you cannot finish? Is it not obvious that she is hesitant to acknowledge and truly consider what the two of you share? How did you even tell her?"
"Well. She called me out and lectured me about being a control freak acting like a tyrant husband and she started telling me that I should not make decisions for her and then about us not being in that kind of relationship and even if we are, I should not be making decisions for her. And then she kept on insisting that I am not interested in her. What the fuck, Mike. I never led her on. I've been sincere from the start."
"Were you?"
"What nonsense are you spouting right now?! Of course, I've always been sincere from the start! I ended it with Andrea right away after meeting her and I have never dated anyone since I met her that eventful day."