6/30/2022 2:15am CST as of start.
I decided to try the active imagination exercises again, but it was like something was actively blocking me. I'm not sure why, but it was like there was a presence watching me and forcing me out.
Furthermore, my usual response system, I've name Mary, was rather bothered. It puts me on edge. She said she can't tell me what caused it. I inquired as to why, but she seemed rather closed on the matter.
I say I named her, but I don't know if I actually did. When I asked the caricature it's name, it said Mary or Emily, but now it only says Mary.
She's usually fairly direct, so this is incredibly odd. During these exercises, I also saw strange flashed of things I've never imagined before. Mary's caricature's form seemed to go from perfectly normal to partially melted off and covered in blood.
And I would also see a dark creature. Muscular and semi-humanoid in form, it had sharp teeth and claws, its eye sockets were empty, from what I remember, and it had a snout. Its stature was lumbering, much like a werewolf, but it was inherently different in form.
At one point, it felt as if it was right behind me and I had been kicked out of my meditative state. Now, this is my third time attempting active imagination, and this is entirely abnormal from what I can tell.
On my first attempt, I had read that bringing a caricature of sorts alongside you as you delved into your mind would be for the best, so I brought Mary.
I gave her form as best I could, basing it off what seemed right instinctively. She seems knowledgeable, but holds off on giving me information, instead, she seems to ask leading questions or just questions my line of thought to make me rethink why I think things.
Ultimately, she's been quite helpful.
Now, I have just remembered I tried other active imagination like meditations, so I'll quickly go over that before doing anything further.
It was 2021, early in the year, if I remember correctly, and I had been learning about MBTI, and decided to try a meditation similar to Jung's, but that was somewhat different.
I sat on my bed and imagined myself on a bed in an empty plane. The sky was empty and black while the ground was a tiled light blue.
As I meditated, I saw a few figures come to me, and this is where I first met Mary. I don't clearly remember what happened in these first few meditation exercises, but I do know it made me stop meditating for a while, due to unsettling occurrences.
Now, fast forward to last Friday. I decided to attempt the active imagination exercised. During the exercise, I was digging in a forest in my mind, right next to a staircase that led to different climates.
This staircase is a spiral staircase and just below the forest was a beach. The first didn't lead to anything definitive. Mostly just a corridor made of cobbled stone.
The hall had no doors and no windows. It just stretched and had occasional turns. After a while, I reversed the dream and found myself next to the staircase once more.
This time, I walked down the staircase and found myself on a beach. Once again, I started digging and eventually wound up on a different beach, but something was different.
There was more than just water and sand, I saw a fish jump out of the water. What I had read told me to follow anything that moves, so I did.
The fish lead me to the bottom of the sea, which was, admittedly, not all that deep, but there I found a gate. I went through the gate and suddenly found myself in a forest.
A moment after I entered, I saw a brown rabbit with a white underside in the corner of my vision and followed it. Strangely, it lead me back to the corridor made of cobbled stone. I rewound once more, but only to the ocean.
Soon I saw a whale move around and followed alongside it, after a bit of that, I rewound to the start and ended my meditation. Ten minutes had passed.
My second attempt was the following morning. I don't recall much from this one, but it was broken suddenly by my phone alarm and I found myself adjusting back into reality and performing reality checks to make sure I was really awake.
I seemed to be, at least. And if I was dreaming, I still am.
End entry. 2:40am CST.