I don't know if it really does take a village to raise a child, I think a small family that has enough love could handle the task just as well. My mother always taught me about the importance of family. "Banja sicholekelela" she would say, which means "family is not something to take for granted."
My grandparents on my mother's side died when I was very young, so I only remember them vaguely, the only grandparents I've known my whole life are my stepfather's parents. I wasn't very close to them, they lived in Tanzania so I couldn't visit them, but I talked them at least once every month on video calls, God did they love to video call.
When dad called me at 5 in the morning, I knew it couldn't have been good news.
"Your grandfather was in an accident at the farm. He broke his legs, they rushed him to the hospital but the doctors are saying the damage is very bad. He might never be able to walk again."
I don't know which part of God or the universe is responsible for discipline, but I must have offended them pretty badly in a past life to deserve all this in this one.
"I feel like we can't even have a conversation without crying these days" my father continued.
"Anyway, listen sonny, I've been thinking a lot lately, I've actually been thinking about moving to Tanzania and living with your grandparents at the farm for a while now. There isn't really much for me here and I think they could really use the help, especially now. You're a man now, and a good one, that much I know. So I have no problem with leaving you everything I own here, I'll transfer all my assets in your name and you can do with them whatever you want. I love you so much sonny, and I hope you can understand why I have to leave. But Tanzania is quite close and it will always be your home, so you can come home whenever you want to. I'll be leaving this Friday, so maybe you can come to Kitwe and we can finalize everything and say our goodbyes?"
"Alright dad" I said, fighting every little tear drop and failing, "I can come on Thursday and spend a night or two there."
"Alright sonny, see you when you get here."
The moment I hung up the call, I started to head back into class. When I received a text message from Nafisi. It had been four days since I saw her.
"Meet me at VLT after the class, the bench on the east side of the lecture theatre" she said. I responded with a thumbs up emoji.
"Thumbs up? Really?"
I wasted no time. Immediately the class was over I made my way to the lecture theatre, she wasn't at the bench, so I sat there waiting for her, with my head propped toward the sky, the cold breeze brushed against my skin, as the sun scorched the corner of my cornea. A shadowy figure appeared right above me blocking me from the sunlight, it was Nafisi. The curls of her hair falling along her cheeks as she looked down on me, her usual wide mouth grin painted across her face. She seemed more beautiful than ever.
"Earth to weirdo" she said.
"Nafisi Bulayo"
"Hi Nyumbani".
I realised just how long it had been since I had seen her this way, in the sunlight, smiling, pushing all boundaries of the word beautiful. I missed her, and all I wanted to do in that moment was hold her, and never, ever, let her go. I saw the cut on her lip again, it was healing, but it was still slightly visible.
"We need a quieter place to talk. Come with me." She led me to this secluded part of the school of business right across the road from the school of vet and behind the school of Agricultural studies. There was a single cement bench, surrounded by tall, leafy and green trees, the place was quiet and cool.
"How do you find these places?" I asked.
"Spend enough time alone, and you'll start to search for places you can be alone." She replied. We sat on the cement bench, facing the road, and watching the trees sway from side to side.
"Why do you protect him?"
"What?"
"Your father, I know he abuses you. Why do you protect him?"
"You don't know what you're talking about". She said this with tears in her eyes.
"It's the way he talks to you..."
"Nyumbani shut up."
"The fear in your eyes when he's around, the bruises and cuts. I can't believe I didn't notice earlier, you're always in long sleeved shirts and covered up."
"Nyumbani shut up! You don't know what you're talking about!"
"Then explain it to me Nafisi! tell me all the things I don't know, make it clear! Because I am tired of guessing Nafisi, it feels like that's all I ever do with you! You can't just come into my life, paint around the walls and just disappear halfway through! And... and... you come around with this whole mess of crap surrounding your life and you just expect me to not ask questions! No!"
I could barely hold my voice from shaking, there was so much rage in my chest I felt like I would explode.
"Say something... Nafisi say something!"
"I'm dying Nyumbani!"
There was a sudden silence in the air, disturbed only by the sound of her crying, and the rustling of the leaves in the trees.
"What?" I asked, as calmly as I could.
"I'm dying, I've been dying for a long time now. I was born with a weak immune system, I'm highly susceptible to all sorts of infections, I developed a few diseases along the way, nothing a few antibiotics couldn't keep under control, until I came across something that can't be stopped by antibiotics. I never knew my mother, so I don't know how my father treated her, all I know is, we don't talk to any of the family members from my mother's side. Since I was a kid, I've only known my father, he would tell me it was my job to make sure all his desires were satisfied, if I did even a single thing wrong, he would beat me so badly I... I grew up only knowing how to serve him, he told me if I ever told anyone, he would kill me. In the first grade I started to bring friends over to play with and he would tell me to convince them to go to his bedroom so that he could take advantage of them. I knew, and I know it was wrong but... I couldn't... he would have..."
She sobbed for a while, I stood there not knowing exactly what to do or say.
"Anyway" she continued, "I started to stop my friends from coming home, they all stopped being my friends and honestly I was glad they did. That man is a monster and I couldn't protect them. Beth was the only one who kept talking to me, she tried to help me, but I wouldn't let her. If he found out he would have killed us both..."
"That's why she couldn't come in at the house, and why she couldn't stay with you when he came at the clinic." I said.
"I've tried to tell her to stay away from me, but she doesn't listen." She wiped the tears off her face and continued, "When I was 13, I told him that I would run away, that day he beat me so badly that he broke my left leg, he told the nurses at the hospital that I fell from a tree. I had to get a metal implant to walk again, and that's why I have one leg shorter. That same day, the doctors had to test my blood before they could do the implant, and they found that I had HIV/AIDS. I wasn't born with it, and I've only ever had sex with one person my whole life. That's why I got sick that night in the rain, that's why I haven't been around... that's why I couldn't kiss you Nyumbani."
At this point I couldn't stop the tears running down my face if I tried. I felt so much anger that my chest started to ache.
"Last week I went to Levy Mwanawasa hospital for another check up, the drugs are doing the best they can, but my immune system is not cooperating. They said I have 4 or maybe 5 months before it completely crashes and my body gives out. I'm a ticking time bomb Nyumbani, I have been since I was born, I guess my time is finally up."
"Nafisi we have to report him, we can't let him get away with this, we can't let him win!"
"Don't you get it Nyumbani? He already has won. He always does. But I don't expect you to understand that, so just please, let it be."
I paused for a moment. Trying to clear my mind and think straight had proven to be a futile task at this point. She couldn't stop crying, neither could I.
"The day we first met" I said, "why did you come and talk to me?"
"I don't know, you felt... familiar, like I had known you beforehand, so I wanted to find out who you were. When we talked I didn't recognise you, but it still felt familiar, like..."
"De javu?"
"Exactly."
It started to make sense to me, bit by bit, everything that had happened up to this point had been leading to precisely this point. To learn this lesson; that you, and all the people you love could perish tomorrow, that it didn't matter how much time you thought you had left, it was about what you did with it, or better yet within it.
"My father, my biological father, was an abusive drunk who beat my mother on a daily basis, my mother told me all this because I was too young to remember, but somehow I just remember I hated him. My mother tried so many times to leave him, but he made that impossible. 3 years into the relationship, my mother started to get sick, turns out she had HIV for quite some time, and never realised it. When my father found out he was furious, and that's when he decided to leave us. My mother started medication and led a perfectly healthy life. I'm not claiming to know or understand what you are going through Nafisi, I know I never could. I'm just saying, until the story is over, you get to decide what direction it takes. You are strong and you have all the power you need Nafisi, you don't owe him anything."
We were both quiet for a moment. I knew in that moment that I could not force her to do anything, but I also knew exactly what I wanted to do. Something within me, knew exactly where this was going.
"I know it can be hard to report him, there's a lot involved in that and I understand that it can be hard to do, you don't have to, at least not right now. I'll be going to Kitwe on Thursday, come with me. Let's leave this place, let's leave him, we could start over there, away from all this, just the two of us."
"Nyumbani that's crazy. What about school? You can't just throw away your life like that. Where would we even live? How would we support ourselves?"
"I became a med student because I love helping people, but this isn't what I wanted to do. I did it mostly for my mother, but I know she would have been proud no matter what I did, and I think it's about time we both started to do more things that make us happy, don't you? Nafisi, if you really only have a few more months to live, don't you want to be happy?"
"Nyumbani, this is bigger than you realise, you're asking me to change your whole world."
"Some people are worth changing my world for, besides, the world isn't that beautiful anyways. I can't force you to do this, but if you decide to come with me, I'll spend the rest of both our lives trying to make you happy. I'll be at intercity bus terminal on Thursday at 8 in the morning, Euro-Africa bus station."
I stood up and left. I looked back a few times hoping she would call me back and say she had decided to come with me, she didn't, she just sat there, with her face in her palms, crying.
That night when I went home, I explained to the whole family that I was dropping out of med school and moving back to Kitwe. I told them everything.
"Do you have a plan on what you're going to do or how you'll support yourself that side?" asked my uncle.
"I talked to dad and he said he'll help me get started. I know the idea sounds almost insane, but I'm sure we all know that I never really wanted to become a doctor. I don't know exactly what I'll do from here, but I know I'll figure it out somehow."
"I think that's a good idea." Said my aunt, "you can't spend the rest of your doing something that doesn't make you happy. As long as you'll be safe and happy, you have our support, and you know this is always home and we are always here if you need anything at all."
"As a matter of fact" added my uncle, "we've been planning on getting a new car, so maybe you could take Brian's car to help you out."
"Thank you very much" I replied, "I really appreciate everything you do for me. I love you guys."
"We love you too son." They said, and both came in to hug me at once.
The next day Brian and the girls escorted me to school and helped me pack up my room.
"I'm just feeling bad for all those hunnies you smashed in this room exe, they'll be very disappointed to see you go." Said Brian, while he looked around the empty room.
"Is that your weird way of saying you'll miss me?" we both laughed. "listen man, I was never cut out for all this, it wasn't meant for me, but you are. This is your world, I know you'll perform some amazing feats one day and the world will see. Just focus man, you got this. You'll always be my brother."
Tears fell from Brian's eyes, he came closer and hugged me. Shelly and Natasha came in and they hugged me too.
"We're gonna miss you bro" said Natasha.
"Promise you'll come visit." Said shelly
"Of course I will."