Leon flew at himself at 45 miles an hour in Caitlyn's body. When he hit it, he immediately hugged it and protected it with his life.
It was identical to what had happened the day before when Caitlyn hugged him to protect his body, only he was protecting his own body.
Leon didn't know who protected his body with more enthusiasm while inside of Caitlyn's body, but one thing was certain—Caitlyn Mira was far better at protecting his body than he was.
"Gahhhhhhh! No! Don't land on my head, fuck, me, ahhhhhh!"
Leon cried in horror as his body crashed to the ground, stuck on repeat like a broken record.
The horrifying thing was that he was conscious the entire time.
Caitlyn was a true superhuman! Despite being extremely tired, he was certain she could compose a thesis while crashing down a mountainside in her body!
"Ooooof!" Leon crashed into a fence, stopping their merry-go-round of potential trauma.
"I need to get over my image tick!" He cried while holding his body like a fallen comrade.
"If I weren't so worried about my damn image, I'd have put a barrier over myself and let this beautiful, indestructible woman crash into—"
Leon's brain suddenly shifted from emotionally devastated to sexually confused.
Caitlyn, i.e. him, was kissing him! Or rather, she was kissing herself, and the thing was—the experience felt incredible.
'What does she put on these lips to make this experience feel so amazing!?' Leon cried.
He snapped out of his daze.
'No, I will not admit that doing this during sex would likely feel amazing after this power almost killed us!' He chastised himself, '... oh, fuck it. I'll blame it on my bonding stat.'
Leon enthusiastically made out with himself in a disturbing showcase of narcissism.
When their lips disconnected, Caitlyn spoke. "That was amazing. Can you imagine if I were giving you—"
"Body swap." Leon ordered with a dry voice and panties.
He blinked twice to find himself staring at Caitlyn.
"Please never have that thought—"
"Um, Leon? Can you stop flirting and help me out of your woman's wing!?" Lindy cried.
She was tangled in Caitlyn's wing, and no one had noticed.
Leon chuckled wryly, stood up, and pried the woman out of the wing.
The petite brunette was embarrassed and wouldn't look him in the eye. He thought she showcased her disappointment, but it was actually explosive sexual frustration.
Watching the surreal kiss only made her situation worse. Far worse!
It had been around four days since she had sex, and she was going through withdrawals. If the two didn't look like blood-soaked serial killers from the Mountains have Ears, she'd have probably cried in agony.
"MY HAND! MY ARM! YOU DIE!" A booming voice rang out, snapping everyone out of the awkward atmosphere.
BOOM, BOOM!
The hairs on Leon's arm stood up when he saw the massive purple mountain walking toward him. Unlike before, he couldn't beguile that thing, and Caitlyn couldn't fly away.
He couldn't grasp flight in five seconds, but 80% of that was feeling mind-numbing exhaustion attempting to flap the wings.
It wasn't pain. He attributed it to mana withdrawal.
He was right. A protective barrier of mana wrapped around her fist to protect Caitlyn from her own punch. It was doubtlessly a passive skill she earned from necessity or a protective measure from Reward~.
Either way, it stole all of her energy, and she was down for the count.
An electric charge jolted his brain.
"Hey, big guy!" Leon yelled at full volume, "Caitlyn risked her life to save you!"
BOOM! …
The titan stopped in his tracks. Odd's Defiance was still in effect! As a humanoid, it doubtlessly contained some level of intelligence. With the added cognitive boost, he should be able to reason with it.
"YOU, HUMAN! TRY TRICK RAKOV!" It roared in response.
"No! Do you even remember getting hit!?" Leon yelled.
Lindy was bewildered by Leon conversing with the giant, and Caitlyn had her chest puffed out in pride. Leon being able to smooth talk his way out of anything felt natural to her.
"NO! BUT FALLEN ANGEL COVERED IN BLOOD! CAN'T TRICK ME!" Rokov yelled.
BOOM! BOOM!
"Mighty Rakov! Think back to the last thing you remember! Don't you remember a purple-skinned woman with shining lips and a cute mouth?" Leon asked, tactfully reminding her of her power.
He was disturbed visualizing how she could charm a hundred-foot giant, but he couldn't think about it.
The titan thought back for a few seconds before—
BOOOOOOOM!
Rakov smashed the wall of the Inexpensiveco, making Leon cringe.
"My pudding snacks better not be buried in rubble." Leon seethed, "Otherwise, I'll beg the gods for a revenge power."
He snapped out of his shocking rage, which he had never felt before. Then he looked at the hole in the wall again.
"His unnatural laughing when Anya touched him and lack of concern for her wasn't a fluke after all. Brain Dead Head must be wildly OP if it can be used on a titan…." He shivered, "But it's a good sign she's unconscious or dead."
"WHERE WOMAN!?" Rakov roared, "TELL RAKOV! NOW!"
"This beautiful woman hit her! She crashed through those buildings!" Leon explained while pointing, "Her mind control made you block her punch! She didn't mean to attack you!"
Rakov grabbed his head in pain. He had never thought so much in his life! It was a headache and truly insufferable.
"YOU LIE AND WILL SURVIVE IF SHE NOT THERE!" Rakov yelled, "ME KILL YOU THEN SEARCH!"
BOOM! BOOM!
The titan got closer.
"Wait! "Look at this woman! She's not strong enough to hurt you!" Lindy interjected, "She only got so many buffs because we had no hopes of defeating someone as manly and mind-bogglingly strong as you!"
Rakov stopped on a dime and stared at the woman.
"Huh? HAWHAWHAWHAWHAW! FOR PATHETIC ANT, YOU KNOW TRUE STRENGTH!" Rakov roared in delight.
Leon's eye's widened to the size of saucers. He couldn't believe how quickly Lindy turned the tides!
Lindy had a sex addiction and didn't like sleeping around. So she learned to toxically manipulate the men in her life into putting up with her crazy and giving into the temptations of casual sex.
The woman was a pro.
"We're strong for humans, but we're indeed ants compared to someone as strong and handsome as yourself!" Lindy continued, "True power is showcased by scoffing at ants and showing them humiliating pity because they're not worth your time. Think about your image!"
"YOU SAY RAKOV LOOK UGLY?!" Rakov roared in irritated perplexion.
"No! Image!" Lindy yelled, "When you're strong, purple hoes will come out thinking you're weak! They're ants, but they can ruin your reputation with others!"
Rakov froze. "SPEAK HUMAN! NOW! EXPLAIN HOE!"
Lindy looked up with an earnest expression.
"A hoe is someone that tries exploiting the weaknesses of men to gain what they want!" She explained, "If you give attention to ants like us, you'll fall victim to a hoe."
Lindy did that too, but she considered it a need. She genuinely didn't want to be in her situation.
Rakov contemplated the situation.
"YOU THINK I CAN BECOME VICTIM!?" Rakov yelled after reaching a profound conclusion.
"Y-Yes. Because you're caring about ants!" Lindy yelled, "And when you're not p-paying attention, a hoe can s-strike."
"C-CASE AND POINT, IF YOU TURN AROUND, you'll find a H-HOE!" She added at a far faster pace.
"YOU FUCKING CUNT! I'M NOT A HOE!" Anya yelled at the top of her lungs.
She was ragged and looked like she just finished an intergalactic supra-gangbang she forgot she signed up for six months ago. The woman's hair was knotted, and patches were sticking out.
Most importantly, her face was almost black from how purple and furious it was.
"YES, YOU ARE A HOE!" Lindy screamed, "YOU TREATED RAKOV LIKE AN ANT WHEN HE'S A THE MOST POWERFUL WARRIOR BELOW THE HEAVENS!"
"Flattery!? You think you can outflatter me? A Level 120 succubus!?" Anya scoffed while pointing her fingers to her chest, "Rakov, kill this bitch!"
Rakov lifted a foot instantaneously.
"WHAT!? DID YOU JUST TELL RAKOV WHAT TO DO?" Lindy screamed angrily, "FIRST YOU USE MIND CONTROL AND NOW YOU'RE ACTING AS IF HE WERE WEAK? Hah!"
The titan put his foot down again, so he could plant his other foot deeper in the ground.
"Hah! This thing? He's nothing but a tool under my control!" Anya laughed, "My saliva has already festered within him."
"That's fucking disgusting." Leon scoffed.
"Now behold, the true, overwhelming power of Freyja!" She grandly announced while putting her hands in the air, "Rakov, prove you're my plaything by—"
Anya's eyes glided to the left just in time to witness something amazing.
Her death.
Clop.
Thud, thud, thud, thud, thud.
Whirrrrrrrr, rustle, rustle, rustle.
If one closed their eyes, that was what they would hear.
It was a strange way to express such noises, but it was far more surreal than its comical literary expression.
[Clop] perfectly summed up the sound of Anya's body exploding upon impact.
There was nothing to smash against a wall or fly through a building. Chunks of Anya's body that were still present dropped to the ground with a few [thuds].
Then there was the wind that [rustled] some trees. That was it.
The 120+-year-old granny trap survived a century of hardship during her planet's apocalypse by sleeping her way up to the top, only to end up a slightly offputting onomatopoeia in the worst place in the cosmos during another apocalypse.
BOOOOOOOM!
After unceremoniously soccer punting the woman, Rakov sat on the ground in a cross-legged position and pouted. He wasn't even looking at his mangled arm or missing hand. His pride was far more damaged than his body.
As for Leon and the others, they spent 30 seconds trying to stabilize their position from the minor earthquake that caused part of the store to crumble.
'My pudding snacks better not be smashed, or I'll have and orgy with everyone here who consents, level up to the max, buy an op weapon, and kill that monstrosity!' Leon growled inwardly.
Leon's emotions disappeared as fast as they came once he looked at the area where Anya was just standing. He couldn't believe what he just witnessed.
Anya was dead, and he was very much alive.
Before he could get comfortable, all hell broke loose.
Ding!
[The Forbidden Library has received new content!]
Ding!
[God's announcement! God candidate Leon Traxler has released a new video!
Video name: Adorable Kittens Protect Puppy During the Titan Soccer [Ball Cup]. Scores Winning Goal in the Process!]
"Another god's announcement? Fuck my life." Leon groaned.
The last god's announcement got him into this mess, to begin with. Now, he was hit with another, far more conspicuous announcement.
Ding!
[The user's video: Adorable Kittens Protect Puppy During the Titan Soccer [Ball Cup]. Scores Winning Goal in the Process! has reached its first god view!]
Ding!
Leon's stared at the next notification in disbelief. It seemed benign, but an icy chill crawled down his spine when he saw the god that sent it.