When night fell, I began arranging what I would wear the next day when I heard noises outside. I exited my closet and opened my door to find the servants removing Aleksei's belongings from his room. That made me grimace since I had warned them not to touch his belongings until they were cleaning the room.
"Why are you moving his belongings out?" I asked one of the maids.
"Mister Valentin is outside and wants us to carry his belongings down immediately," the maid said before excusing herself.
I watch as they remove his belongings from my door. I assumed he'd never take them because it had been days since the second hearing when I told him he couldn't remain here any longer. I stand at my front entrance, staring at the boxes. I know it's his clothes. I used to touch them anytime I walked into his room, simply to smell the aroma he left behind.
The final maid exited the room and shut the door. I headed to Aleksei's now-old room after they had all exited the corridor. I stepped into it and proceeded to his closet, which was now empty. I smiled faintly as I looked at the empty cupboards before entering the room, drawn in by the music box on top of his table.
I approach it, opening the music box as an instrumental begins to play, with two dancing figures circling in the centre. The music is the same as Aleksei and I had for our first dance on our wedding day, and the two individuals dancing in the music box are really figures of me and Aleksei.
I recall that day. It was lovely and magical. As I think about those times while listening to the song "Rewrite the Stars," my eyes begin to blur with tears that are obstructing my vision.
Can we rewrite our stars?
The instrumental version of the song began to play on our wedding day. I sat in my assigned seat, first glancing around and admiring how beautifully the venue had been arranged. When Aleksei abruptly stood up, I couldn't help but stare up at the ceiling, which has its own live animation of the cosmos that looks quite gorgeous.
"Can I have this dance?" he said, reaching for his hand. I took a peek at it before giving him my hand.
Aleksei assists me with my gown as he leads me to the centre of the dance floor. Aleksei put my hand on his shoulder while holding my other hand, and his other hand was on my waist. The lights fade and a beautiful spotlight falls on us.
As he begins to dance with me, he takes the lead. It's a leisurely dance with his gaze fixed on me. They're full of adoration, and I can't tear my gaze away from them. He keeps me near him. That brought our faces closer together. That made me flush while making him grin. He kisses me passionately and slowly. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he placed both hands on my waist. I feel like we're the only ones in this place right now. We get lost in our own little world, completely unaware that everybody is watching us.
"I think it'll be difficult not to fall for you," he joked.
"Oh, don't fall for me; you'll suffer if I don't love you back."
"Just hearing you say that hurts me, my wife."
Remembering my statements from back then makes me unsure whether I'll laugh or cry more since I loved Aleksei. That is why I am currently in pain. It simply aches so badly. It's difficult not to fall for Aleksei. I attempted to stop myself since I am aware of the nature of our marriage, but I can't help but fall for him as well. I let myself fall hard for him. I adored him and made myself happy with him since I imagined we'd be together forever.
Now it's just me who is in pain.
An embrace from behind catches me off guard. I flinched and focused on the arms wrapped around my waist, the sensation of the back embrace, and the scene. I knew exactly who it was. How can I not notice if he does this every time he catches me off guard?
Aleksei remained silent. I can't even push him away from me. If I did, when would he hold me again like this?
I bit my bottom lip and tried not to cry. What is the point of this? Why can't we live quietly by ourselves? Why does everything have to go our way? All I want is for us to stay together. Is that too much to hope for?
"I'm sorry, Zavia," he said abruptly, his head resting on my shoulder.
"You've been seeing her for a year; why didn't you tell me?" I inquired, his hug tightening. "Do you have a relationship with her before or after we are married?"
Because if they are, as he stated, I will not be able to love him any more. I knew I wouldn't be as badly hurt as I was. I will not be in this kind of pain. I'm not going to cry like this.
"I can't do anything," his voice trembled, tightening my chest, and I couldn't help but turn to see him sobbing.
"I need answers, Alek," I said as I clutched his hand. "When did the two of you start dating? Did you cheat on me? Did you truly fall out of love with me?"
If he does, that is. Why do we need to spend the days before that pleasantly if he truly does? Before that day, everything was good. That's why I can't fathom why he suddenly lost interest in me.
"Forgive me, Zavia; I'm sorry." Aleksei kneels, clutching my hand tightly and lowering his head. "I'm sorry... If only I could think of another way..."
What he says perplexes me. I can't understand what he means. My thoughts are already a total jumble, and his remarks are exacerbating the situation, making me feel even worse. I don't comprehend what he's doing. I'm not sure why he suddenly sobbed and pleaded for forgiveness since it's him who is seeking a divorce and wants the process to be over with as soon as possible.
Why do you have to mess with my emotions, Alek?
He keeps apologising and sobbing as he repeats what he has said. He keeps saying things, and I can't stand it anymore. I want to hurt him the way he's hurting me, but I can't stand seeing him like this. I bend down, pausing to embrace him. To make him feel the comfort I always provide anytime he requires it.
"Alek, I don't understand you; your words, your arguments don't seem to fit everything," he sounds like he doesn't want this as well, although he's been waiting for the divorce to be granted for months. I don't comprehend what he's saying. "You're perplexing me. I've known you. This is not how you act. Please, tell me everything." I tried to persuade him. The Aleksei I know, if there's an issue, no matter how little, he'll talk to me about it, and he'll always make things plain for me if there's anything I'm unclear about. "Just tell me, please."
"No... No, I can't, Zavia," Aleksei sobbed as he held me.
My tears don't have to stop when I feel his arms. It used to be warm, pleasant, and safe. This embrace, on the other hand, does not feel that way. It appears to be the last. It's like saying goodbye.
"Only if I can be the only one suffering, but I'm dragging you into this scenario... But I want to tell you, Zavia, that I'll be returning, and I'll surely come back to where my home is."