tears started to streamed in my eyes, without knowing what to think of, seeing with my blurry eyes, as I thought, " I'm sorry. I don't wanna seem mean, I love you guys, I loved you guys as a family, and I, myself know, that everytime I communicate, I get drained and tired easily because of those fake smiles. "
..well, that is, I am sorry.
but, I don't know what to do with my attitude to, I racked my brains, ruined my mental health for me to reach that validation, and you guys had it, smiled at me so generously, you guys were so gentle, the people who raised me when my family wasn't there.
I grew up knowing no one was there for me, only to end distancing myself with people's.
at the end, I go to my room, turned of the light, take off my hoodie, and turn on the music, and cried at the corner of my bedroom.