we're in the bloody battlefield, in my blood soaked gown. with you Infront of me, holding tightly to your sword, your we're bleeding as you right hand was holding mine. you we're injured, yet you still manage to smile, and hold my hand tightly as you hold your sword pointing at the enemies.
I was full of worries,
you were standing there. reassuring me that everything's fine, as if this battlefield didn't exist at all. as if you didn't have duties to carry on.
either way, I can't be reassured.
I can't lose you too,
my only sun, in this fucked up world.
" leave her. " the king, who was Infront of us, guarded by his knights. he said those words without worry, without hesitation. the king who fucked the world where I was living, I can't, I can't let him get to my sun.
" no, I don't dare to disappoint you, but I can't leave my woman, in this battlefield to be yours. I can't have that, even it meant to betray the whole country, to even bring your head in the country that didn't trust you, I apologize, but there's no title, money, and honor that can replace my woman. "
he said, tightly holding my hands. I want to push him away, but falling to the king's lap wasn't my liking, but I can't let him die. I want the king to die. I want him to bring his head to the country that trusted me.
" is that so?, then. let your woman choose. the woman I also fought, and once loved. I loved her first when I was a powerless prince. I can't protect her because of that, and now, I'm the king. I have the rights, and will to have the woman you called yours. "
he looked at me, you were once my friend. yet you were not bright enough to be my sun, you were bright enough to be one of the stars, to be one of the clouds. you were not bright enough to be mine, you can't have me as yours, but he can. but if I chose him, you'll kill him, if I chose you, I'll have to let go of him. it's like, if I betray him, I betray my heart. if I choose you, I betray myself.
sure you can gift me precious jewelries, gold's, and diamond's. fluttery dresses, and enough love, but that love wasn't enough. let alone those gift's, and dresses.
only him, always him.
it was once you, it couldn't have been always you.
it's him that I want.
it's him whom I'll die for.
it's you who I'm willing to sacrifice,
in order for him to be safe.
both of them look at me, he lifted my hand that he held. he kissed it, " your free to choose, my lady. " he said, looking pitiful. those words left a bitter taste to my mouth, wounding my heart, knowing I can't choose either of them. I can't, but if I'm really free to choose, I'll choose my man.. my sun.
I can't choose one, what if I'll choose both?
can I try?
should I try?
I should.
this try will cause the death of me, and I'm here for it.
" I'm sorry. " a low tone, I whispered to archer's ears. lowering my voice for the king not being be able to hear it. those words has cause my heart to drop into my stomach, and cause me my death.
" both, I choose both of you. archer and your majesty, I can't choose one of you. I love archer, and I have once, loved you, your majesty. I can't bare to only choose one, I can't bare to see both of you fight like this, let alone fight for me. "
I can learn to love kai, but I'll always love archer more. he's my sun, while kai, is just one of the stars that can leave when the sun is up to the sky. but kai, can be the moon who I once loved when the sun isn't up to the sky, but I've always loved sun more. sun was there, always there. both of them are, and it isn't my will to only choose one. my first love, or my greatest love.
" both, you say. " he said, " well, as long it meant, you being my woman is fine, as long your our's alone. " the king said, smirking.
archer smiled at me, " I know it's not your will to only choose one, but my love,..if you can ever choose again, will it be me? " he lowered his voice in the last lines, I held his hands and smiled. " ofcourse, it only can be you, archer. " I whispered, kissing his cheeks
he held my hand, and didn't let go. looking at the king Infront of us, who didn't notice I kissed him, " I'm fine with it too. " he replied.
and with that, I became the most powerful woman. having the king as my man, and the duke as my husband. empress and duchess is my role to this country, but for those two, it's being a wife, lover, and the woman to bares their child. I'm pregnant.
that child, may be the next king, or duke.
either way, he's my child.
he'll be one of the most powerful child, in this shitty, fucked up world.
and I'll do everything,
to protect three of them.