Quiet the mind and the soul will speak; the words of Ma Jaya Sati Bhagavati. Studies have proven regular meditation beneficial as it does everything from alleviating your anxiety to lowering your blood pressure and even slowing down the process of ageing. I really needed this. After all the drama from yesterday, trust me, focusing on myself was what mattered the most.
"You don't got class today?" Angelica asked, lying on her abdomen as she flipped through the pages of the Bible.
" I do, just don't wanna" Sianna answered. She was on her bed with her legs crossed trying to meditate.
"Is it because of the Luca Castaigne thing…oh that rhymed" Angelica asked with a sharp smirk on her face
"Aren't you supposed to be reading the Bible?" Sianna asked with sarcasm
"And aren't you supposed to be meditating?" Angelica retorted.
Then they both began laughing.
"Hey if you wanna talk, I'm here for you, Jesus is too" Angelica said as she waved the Bible in the air. Sianna came over to Angelica's bed. She laid down face to face with each other, and then they began talking.
"I don't know why I'm letting this bother me. I wanna let it go, but I just keep getting angrier and angrier and angrier" Sianna said calmly
"You want me to be real honest?"
"Maybe" Sianna answered unsurely
"You're jealous of this guy"
"What!"
"I mean if you still carry this whole thing in your heart then you gotta be jealous"
"Of what exactly, him?"
"I don't know, his life, the way people treat him. Maybe you think people are so focused on the big guys that they don't get to recognize the small ones around them. You feel that if they should just pause and look around….. they'll see that everyone matters- popular or unpopular"
"I hate that you're right" Sianna admitted sadly
"I'm always right Sianna" Angelica claimed with a smile on her face. There was a moment of silence then Angelica continued
"Sorry to ask, but….while you were unpacking, before you told me your name, you brought out a picture of you and someone…." Angelica paused cause she noticed how unrest Sianna was.
"If you don't wanna talk about it….." Angelica continued
"Sloane and Sianna, always and forever" Sianna replied. Then she sat upright and stared obliviously into thin air. A tear rolled down her cheek. She wiped it off so Angelica wouldn't see. Meanwhile, Angelica felt so bad for bringing up the question so she turned Sianna backwards and hugged her, assuring her that everything was going to be okay.
Sianna had now found solace in Angelica. She began to see her in a new light. She had never been shown such affection since she was eight. And for the first time in a long time, Sianna had a genuine smile on her face.
"I know I said I didn't want to make friends but, Angelica…" Sianna said with a smile on her face, a stuffed nose and a watery face
"Would you like to be my friend?" she continued
"Duh" Angelica replied as they both laughed and hugged each other
Words of Kathleen McDonald- meditation is not spacing out or running away. In fact, it's being totally honest with ourselves. And throughout my whole two minutes of meditation and my little therapy session with Angelica, I figured out that I wasn't totally being honest with myself. I hated Luca Castaigne not only because he was being such a prick to society at large, but because I was jealous of him. And I let my anger get the best of me, and as for my parents, I wasn't really ready to let go of the things they did to me just like that.
"Did Gabby mention where she went to, it's almost nine and she isn't back yet?" Angelica asked Sianna who was getting ready for bed
"Is it too late to tell you that you're asking the wrong person? Cause you're asking the wrong person" Sianna said with a sleepy tone
"It's almost becoming habitual" Angelica added
"Habitual, how?"
"Its always like this every Tuesdays and Thursdays"
" Angelica, it's obvious, she has a boyfriend"
"And/or girlfriend" Angelica said with a smirk on her face
"I know it's been like what, three days since I've known Gabby but any blind person could tell that she isn't gay"
"If you say so"
"Good night"
"Good night" Angelica bid as she turned off the lights
Sianna tried so hard to sleep. But it wasn't working. She turned over to see if Angelica was asleep and of course she was sound asleep like a baby.
She moaned and picked her phone up. She scrolled through pages on Instagram, watched some TikTok's then logged onto Twitter. All this still couldn't make her sleep. She pondered on what to do, and as she did her eyes fell on Angelica's Bible. It had been long since she had opened her Bible. She remembered that her mum had told her that the Bible had all the answers to her questions. So she picked it up and opened any page randomly. Her eyes caught proverbs 10:8 which said the one who conceals hatred has lying lips and whoever utters slander is a fool, and this is exactly what she had done earlier.
"Ouch! That's a bit harsh" she reckoned
Then she flipped through pages randomly again and her eyes caught Ephesians 4:31-32; "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamour and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."
The words of this passage pierced her heart, and at this very moment, she was ready to reconcile with her parents and quit hating Luca. First things first, she thought. She was going to call her parents and apologize and then apologize to Luca for almost killing him.
So she stepped out of her room while making the phone call. None of her parents picked up. She was told to leave a message at the beep but she never did. She wanted to speak to them directly as she was ready to let it all go. She called again whilst pacing down the halls of her dorm but they didn't pick. It was then she decided to give up
Dan Harris once said meditation is not about feeling a certain way. It's about feeling the way you feel, and I felt like I had endless possibilities at my fingertips, but at this moment, I just couldn't reach out to them. This time I was ready, I was ready to forgive and forget everything and everyone bad that has ever happened in and/or to my life. My mind was finally at ease. Who knew I could ever find happiness again. Even though they did not pick up, I knew in my heart that I was free of all complications.
On arriving to her room, she sighted Gabby and a girl she had never seen before. She hid in one corner so she wouldn't be seen by the two. She watched them both as they laughed and made jokes
"So she's capable of having fun?" Sianna said to herself quite shocked
Then they leaned toward each other and kissed
"What the f**?!" Sianna exclaimed; blowing her cover