Dear Aunt Mariam,
Do you remember what I told you years ago, before our family changed? I said that I was afraid and doubted that I could continue the legacy that Father and Grandpa had worked so hard to build, because I felt I wasn't as strong as them. But do you remember what you told me? You said that I shouldn't be trying to be like my father; nor expect to be like him. But that I should learn who I am and decide what type of person I want to be.
I want to thank you Aunty M, because I now know who I want to be.
The Guardian of the Green Book.
~~~~~
The soft rumble of the train moving along the tracks woke me from my sleep. Rays of sunlight entered my eyes as I slowly opened them. I squinted in protest as I let out a sigh. I don't know when I had fallen asleep or for how long, but apparently, staring past the train window had caused me to do the unthinkable. Indignation rose within me as I became more aware of this realization. If Caleb ever found out that I had fallen asleep on train, I would never hear the end of it.
The sun's rays penetrated through the enclosure that divided me from the outside. Its warmth satisfied my skin and for a brief moment, all of the anger I felt melted away. I found it rather odd that I had dreamed about a memory, specifically the day Father introduced the Green Book to me. I've never had a dream as a memory before, so why now? Unfortunately, I fear I am cursed not to experience anything good for very long.
I gripped the edge of my seat and felt something crawl up my hand. Not even wanting to investigate, I squealed and rose to my feet, waving my hands like a frantic woman. The violator fell from my hand and scurried across the floor, but not before I saw what it was.
"Roach."
Without hesitation, I pounced on the abomination and stomped it out of existence.
"Die! Die!"
I breathed heavily before noticing the many stares I was receiving. An attendant came to me asking what the matter was, and I simply pointed to the now dead roach. The woman's eyes widened, before nodding her head in understanding and disposing of the creature.
Once everything had settled down, I rested in my seat to meet eyes with a little boy seated in front of me. He looked drowsy as if he had just woken up from a nap.
"You're weird."
I blinked, uncertain if I heard him correctly. He leisurely rested his head on his seat. His light copper skin stood in complete contrast to the gray fabric seating. His brown eyes were like deep pools that you could get lost in, expressive and admiring. I had to blink rapidly to remove myself from their trance.
He's going to win the hearts of so many people with those eyes.
"Excuse me?"
"Not a lot of people would have gone out of their way to kill a cockroach the way you did. So clearly, you would be labeled as 'out of the ordinary', in other words weird."
"How old are you?"
I was generally curious because he talked a lot older than he appeared.
"How old are you?" he teased, wiggling his eyebrows.
I became even more dumbfounded by this boy's behavior. Whoever this boy hangs around with must be a bad influence. I decided to end the conversation there and finish writing to Aunty M.
I pulled out my pen and book that I specifically use for writing letters and began to write.
I wish I could be there with you, Aunty M. I hear Philadelphia is beautiful, and I would love nothing more than to experience it all with you! But I have no doubt you'll make some friends soon, since more Blacks are moving there.
Do believe me when I say that Father and I will be alright. Please try to be happy and enjoy yourself, and to not worry about us. There is a new life ahead for both of us, and I do not wish for either of us to look back at this moment in sadness. We should instead remember this day as a turning point in our lives. As a new chapter, in our life book, ready to be created.
"You have nice handwriting. Are you a teacher?"
I looked up to see the same odd little boy. He didn't seem to have moved an inch since our last conversation.
Why is he still here? Has he been watching me this whole time?
"Why do you think I'm teacher?"
"Because. The only women I know that have nice handwriting are my teachers and my mom. Are you a mom?"
"No." I drew out. "Nor am I a teacher."
"Are you married?"
"No!"
"That's surprising. Are the guys where you live at blind or something?"
I looked around, desperately hoping to find who was responsible for this child, but he appeared to be alone. Then I became aware that I was also alone. Father was gone. The only evidence that I had a companion was the newspaper and briefcase that he left behind. I looked at the empty seat next to me and sighed.
"Don't worry. He'll be back. He told you so while you were asleep."
"You watched me sleep!?"
"Only after your father left." he replied nonchalantly. "You were asleep for a long time."
"Will you please stop talking and watching me like a stalker!" I begged, but the boy only laughed.
"You don't trust people, do you? That's okay if you don't; I have cousin like that too. You both just take longer to like people."
"Who says I don't like people? And where's your parents!?"
The boy laughed again. "They're around. I guess I was right that you don't trust people, seeing as you didn't try to deny it."
"You're an odd little boy." I sighed, giving up on ever being free from him.
"Thank you!" he beamed, "But I'm not little. I'm eleven and half."
I just remained quiet as I didn't know how to respond. He didn't seem to mind and continued chatting.
"Did you know you're face twitches when you sleep?"
I decided to ignore that question and end this unwanted conversation once and for all.
"You shouldn't be talking to strangers. And I'm sure your parents wouldn't approve of what you're doing right now."
The boy stopped talk and just stared at me. His face fell as he thought about what I said. I smiled inwardly. I concluded that the best way to shut him up was to remind him what was right and proper, and it seemed to be working wonderfully.
"So in other words, you want me to stop talking."
I could tell by his eyes he was a little hurt by my words. It pinched at my conscience.
"I would ask for an introduction," I explained, "but I doubt that would be proper, since you're a child, I'm an adult and your parents aren't around."
The boy's signature smile slowly crept back across his face. "That's okay! We can do it when I'm older."
I returned his smile, before hesitating and doing the one thing I didn't want to do in the first place.
"So... is this your first time being on a train?"
~~~~~
A half an hour had to have passed while the boy and I chatted, and neither one of us seemed to mind that our company hadn't returned. However, as the sun traveled father lowered in the sky, the thought of them became evermore apparent in my mind.
"I wonder where our parents are?" I asked aloud, "Don't you find it odd that they neither one of our fathers have returned?"
The boy had shared with me that he was also traveling with his father visit family. The two of them were making their way to his mother's hometown, who was already there with his sister.
"Not really." the boy shrugged.
I stared at him inquisitively as I waited for him to explain.
"It might be odd for you, but it's not for me. It's not uncommon for my dad to leave for hours and I be the man while he's away. I can take care of myself."
"I see." I hummed. I examined the boy's face and found no levels of concern.
"Still..." I continued. "I don't like it. I think I should go look for them." I rose to my feet. "It would be best if you stay here, in case either one of them comes back. Can you tell me what your father looks like?"
The boy was about to say something, but he caught sight of something behind me.
"Your old man is coming back... and so is my dad."
I scrunched my face in disbelief and turned to see where he was looking at. Sure enough, my father along with a younger gentleman were walking in our direction.
"I'll leave you alone now." I took my seat and looked back at the boy in confusion.
"What?" I asked, but the boy ignored my question. I should really know his name by now, but he doesn't know mine either.
"Thanks for talking with me. Also, you have dry slobber on your face." He pointed, before turning around and flopping back into his seat.
"Why didn't you tell me that earlier!?" I whispered, frantically trying to wipe away the evidence.
I could hear the laughter in his voice as he replied. "You know, for someone who didn't even want to talk to me in the first place, you're pretty chatty. It's okay if you can't get enough of me. I know can be irresistible at times." He smiled in between the seat.
I couldn't with this boy. Who was he hanging around with for him to know how to flirt so effortlessly!?
I wanted to stay something to his snarky remark but stopped when Father came to our aisle seat. He stopped to say a few words to the man behind him, before sitting down next to me. I waved an acknowledgment to him, before quickly turning to the window. I discreetly examined my reflection, trying to locate the dry slobber.
I saw the boy's reflection looking at me and I gave him a glare, but he turned away, pretending not to see me, and began speaking with his father. The brat.
I glanced at Father who was now preoccupying himself with the local newspaper. From the looks of it, he didn't seem to know about the slobber, and I sighed, relieved. On the front page, it was titled "Soldiers Receive A Big Welcome As They Return Home" and displayed a picture of soldiers being greeted by a large crowd. Below it was another picture of a group of well-dressed men all sitting in chairs posing for the picture. The title of the article read "World Leaders Come To Agreement To End The War."
My eyes lingered on the men in suits... their clean, pressed, black suits. The sight was all too familiar. Their appearance resembling the men who came to my town seven years ago.
~~~~~
I was just entering his store when he had spoken.
It was 1910, a crisp Autumn morning, and the changing leaves signaled the coming winter. The conflict within Europe was rising and rumors of the war were in the air. In America, however, much of society was not focused on that.
A light, yet effective breeze made my skin ice-cold. Now was not the time for a chat, but who could say no to Mr. Turner. Mr. Turner was a kind elderly fellow, and almost everyone in town liked him. He was the town's charitable old uncle who always had a smile or a word to say.
He was so friendly that it wasn't unusual for Mr. Turner to strike up a conversation with the people who came to and from his store, or anyone for that matter. It was just his nature, but he often did them during the worst of times!
What made this situation unbearable for the entire town, however, was that once Mr. Turner got going on one of his chats, it was hard to get him to stop. It became such a common affair, to the point that if you forgot a grocery item, became late, or missed an important opportunity after talking with Mr. Turner, you'd simply state I had a Turner Talk as your excuse, and everyone would nod and sigh sympathetically.
I stopped at the store's entrance, sighed inwardly, and looked back at the old man.
"Good afternoon, Mr. Turner. What did you say?"
"I said, do you see those men over there?"
I turned to the old man's direction of sight, praying this conversation would be a short one. I saw a small group of men constructing an equally small building on the edge of town.
"Yes, Mr. Turner. I see them.", I replied in haste, not trying to sound annoyed, but I did have somewhere to be that day.
"Well, do you know the significance of those men? Why they're important? Why they're here!?"
His tone told me that I wasn't going anywhere soon and that I should be an obedient girl and answer his questions. I sighed. I didn't want to answer him for two reasons. One, I would be late if I did, and two, I already knew what he was thinking. And much of the town did as well.
The construction site had been a large topic of conversation in our community ever since it started 10 months prior, and Mr. Turner had vocalized his support from the very beginning.
That small band of men was the last group the government had sent to work on the rail lines. The first was a couple of government officials and business owners. They came in clean, pressed, black suits and drove a luxury-type vehicle. They told us that they had come to construct the Hamilton Railway. They said it was to bring about "the future"; connecting two major cities: while publicizing ours. They assured us that construction would be over quickly, and our little town would soon be bustling with business.
Our town quickly became divided. Some people were against it, like my father, who liked our quiet town and our way of life. Others, mostly business owners, saw the rail line as an opportunity, progress, and a way to grow our small community.
But our town was in no way small or behind in "progress". We had many shops and stores, 10 bakeries, 5 butchers, 15 farmers, 12 neighborhoods, 10 schools, 2 universities, a theater, 2 club bars, a post office...
Must I say more? We were more like a small city than town.
True we weren't the size of New York, but we were in no wise lacking. We just did a lot of things the old fashion way. Despite all this, our mayor had agreed to the construction. Not that he had a choice.
Would you go against the parliament of your country?
Still, we were all surprised when we learned that Mayor Farthing had agreed to the building of the rail line months before the town got any word of it. The whole matter made my father very upset. He was even more vexed when the mayor had come to our house asking for his blessing toward the construction.
"Don't you see!", Mayor Farthing had begged, leaning against the table that separated him and Father. "The Hamilton will not only bring the money this town needs, but employment, recognition, and positive outside influence!"
They were seated in the waiting room and sat opposite from one another, our oval glass coffee table being their only divider. The room was quiet. Both men staring at one another, intently.
Mayor Farthing was seated on our family's love seat. The same one my grandfather had brought with him from Europe. Father was resting in his armchair or as I like to call it, "The Heir Chair."
I was standing in the corner of the hall, peeking my head out from behind one of the arch pillars. Mayor Farthing was facing my direction. Good thing he wasn't an observant man, else he would have spotted me.
When the Mayor had arrived, Father had claimed that he was preoccupied with his work, but I could tell that this was an excuse to delay himself. I didn't combat it, however, but simply directed his honor to the open library and entertained him until Father had arrived. Leaving the men with the coffee and snacks Violet had prepared, it was from there I retreated to my current hiding spot.
Now I know it's wrong to snoop, but I knew their discussion would be important! So, I snooped!
"Why come to me for a blessing when you can go to Pastor Hawls, who actually supports the railroad?" Father casually inquired.
He sipped on his black coffee while his broad shoulders relaxed and sank further into his favorite chair. The beast within him was pacified... for now, but I knew that one wrong mistake from Mayor Farthing would change that.
"Because" Mayor Farthing began, "I view you as a more wise and spiritual man than him. In fact, I see you as our city's true leader."
I watched Father's reflection pause from its coffee and look the mayor in the eyes. The mirror above the mantle did a good job casting my father's seemingly calm and non-threatening face. His neatly oiled beard seemed to glisten in the sunlight, casting a divine and majestic glow.
One can feel like a lowly peasant in front of my father. His entire being spoke of purpose. This is why many men feared and loved my father, because he was a man that couldn't be studied or controlled.
Father held the silence a little bit longer before finally answering.
"You're wasting your time."
"Damn it, Shamir!" Mayor Farthing yelled, slamming his hands on the table, "Stop being stubborn! Don't you know the benefit of this railroad!?"
"Who gave you permission to curse in my house!?"
The room went dead silent. I could only imagine the level of animosity Mayor Farthing saw in my father's eyes.
"I.." the mayor pulled back his hand, fear evident on his face. "Forgive me, Shamir." he hastened with a small bow.
Father sighed. "Have a seat, Adam."
The flustered man quickly did what he was told and nervously drank some of the coffee Father had offered him. I was surprised Father didn't throw the man out right then.
"I'm sorry, Shamir. It's just, I'm not only thinking of the town, but you! You do realize that supporting the construction will be very beneficial to you and your family, right?"
I tried to get a better view of my father's face. I could tell that he was thinking, which confused me. In fact, his behavior throughout the entire conversation was baffling. I knew Father would never agree to Mayor' Farthing's request, yet he still entertains him. Why?
"Listen to me, Shamir." Mayor Farthing continued, his voice softer than before.
Since Father didn't respond, I guess the mayor saw this as an opportunity. There was clearly more hope in his voice.
"I have met some people in power, high ranking individuals from the government. One gentleman in particular, a Mr. Paul Matthews, was very open to me, and we had many things in common."
"That's nice Adam, but I don't see why this is relevant to me."
"Well, he shared with me his spiritual journey and his interests in ancient medicine and the supernatural. I told him about you and your practice, and he seemed very intrigued. He told me that he would like to meet you before they head back to Washington, and even asked if you teach."
Father gave an amused laugh. "Why? Does he want to take lessons?"
"It appears so."
His smirk faded and there was silence.
"Why would a white man want to be a student under a negro?" Father asked, finally.
"I know, I know. I thought the same thing," Mayor Farthing reassured, "but then he told me about his intentions to help improve our communities and..."
"Our community needs improvement?"
"N-now don't interrupt me, Shamir! Just let me have my say!"
Father nodded and waved his hand for the mayor to continue.
"Well as I was saying, Mr. Matthews wants to help improve our communities. This railroad was one of those ways. He even confined in me his disdain for the injustice towards us, Negros.
Now, I know you disagree with this whole affair, Shamir, but I believe. And trust me, when I say this! That for the betterment and safety of your family and our community, it would be prudent to indulge them."
"For the betterment and safety of my family?" Father's eyes narrowed, "And what pray tell are you implying?"
"Don't take it as a threat."
"Then how should I take it!?"
Father slowly rose to his feet, revealing his massive height. I watched as my father's back slowly tightened. He towered over the man and eyed him dangerously.
"You didn't come here because you thought I was so spiritual. You came here because you felt obliged to introduce me to an official, a government official, to be exact."
"And this Mr. Matthews," Father began to pace slowly in front of Mayor Farthing, "He convinced you that he's for us colored folks, and he just so happens to share the same interests as me!? and wants to be my pupil? Hm? How convenient."
Father stops in his tracks and turns his head towards the mayor. "You can believe everything this man has told you, Adam, if you want to. Try to get on their good side and be their snake in the grass, if you want to, but I'm not going to be a part of it."
"Snake in the!? Now wait a minute, Shamir!"
"No, you wait! You keep talking about how you care about the people! But how is that possible when you're allowing the people's farmland and private property to be taken from them to build this damn railroad! People's livelihoods are at stake, Adam! And you want me to bless the efforts of those who hurting our people!?"
"I had no other choice, Shamir! I can't go against the government!"
"I was doing fine without the government's pat on the back, Adam, and I'll continue to do fine without it. I have spoken my views on the issue, and I will not retract them. Now, you have two choices. Either we finish our coffee together as friends, or you leave my house."
Even without my father's blessing, the construction continued on course. Men came with their machines and the noise, and within ten months, the railway was finished.
With this fading memory, I looked at Mr. Turner and replied plainly, "They're here to build the station for the train."
He looked at me with such annoyance and disapproval.
"They're not just here for that, Ebony! What those men are doing there is building the true essence of progress, development, and prosperity!"
~~~~~
And many did see it that way. I, however, do not and never will. Yet to think I am in one now!
A train brought the person who plotted against my family.