Doing something stupid, making yourself look stupid, and acting like you're stupid had made me cringe for hours now. What did the crown prince think of me then? He must have thought I am a birdbrain. Or am I just exaggerating things?
After he left earlier, I was alone for some time. Maya and the others might have been on an errand as it took some time before they could come into my room. This lone time had made me contemplate my weird actions, it made me uneasy.
"Maya?" I called her as she was busy doing my hair. They are preparing me once more for tonight's main event. There's only an hour left and they're redoing everything to freshen up my look.
"Yes, my lady?"
"Do I look funny?" I said in a low voice.
She automatically disagreed. "You are the most beautiful lady in this empire. You are kind, elegant, smart, and talented. How could someone of the lady's caliber look like that"
I sighed. "Am I funny?" changing the question might present another answer and view. I know for a fact that I look regal. It's just that I needed some confirmation from others. People might say that getting others' confirmation about one's self is nothing but a petty thing. However, for someone who has been down and had been minding their image, it is somewhat reassuring.
"Am I funny?" I repeated as I also turned to look at the others. Urging them for some answers.
They paused for a while and thought. Then Maya started.
"It is fun to look at you in some ways, especially when you do something so interesting."
That statement confuses me. And they could already tell based on how I look.
"Here, my lady." Serena, the other maid who is tending my gown stood up and gave me a hand mirror which I have absent-mindedly accepted.
I looked at myself in the small mirror, and there I saw my face.
"Sometimes, you gave off expressions too interesting and cute, my lady. Sometimes you'll show an innocent or a murderous look simultaneously it would make us look at you intently because it is fun." I might have looked at her fiercely as she suddenly quivered. "Y-you know... it's interesting how y-you, my lady, suddenly changes emotions?" she added, unsure whether to continue.
"Yes, my lady. It's not that you are funny. It's just it is fun looking at you in many different ways." Maya seconded.
"Do I look that transparent?"
"Hmmm!" they all affirmed and nodded.
I bit my lower lip as if about to cry. Nooooooo!
That's not what I want. I hate being transparent because others would be able to right away tell you what you are thinking. That's a weakness!
"Do not be dejected, my lady. That's your charm." it's as if that transparency is really true as Maya had told me that right away. Cheering me up.
"Yeah... right." I forced a smile. Though I am not really convinced.
I turned again to face the mirror as they continued to work on me. Just silent, looking at my own reflection. I forcefully brushed off the thought about the circumstance earlier with the crown prince and thought about the banquet.
I'm back to becoming an eighteen-year-old, but if you'd really count my whole existence, I should be twenty-nine years old now. In my past life, because the situation didn't allow it, I was not able to have my debut, and that made me so fixated on ball gowns and parties. To be able to experience it now, I must be really a lucky one. But somehow, I felt guilty about what happened to the real Aerin's soul. I imagine she might have tried coming back, but since I have already taken over, she can't anymore. This should've been hers to enjoy.
I shook my head.
Besides, we cannot change anything now. It would be better to just continue being thankful. Continue to live her life on the right path and be as happy as ever. That way, even though I would end up forgetting my own name and origin, at least Aerin's name would be marked as an upright noble. Not someone who doesn't have a heart or a villainess.
Come to think of it, what's my real name again?
My thoughts were cut when the door opened and in it emerged my father. He looks so dashing, and he is smiling as he walked toward me. Once I'm within his arms' reach, he then hugged me. My real father also hugged me on special occasions, and my real mom, too. I smiled remembering them. I know they'd be fine out there.
A moment later, he released from the hug and placed his hands on both my arms. He looks at me with love, pride, and joy. He must be proud of how his daughter had become.
"This was the dress?" father asked. Confirming the creation Chris had bragged to him.
"Uh-huh!" a huge grin is plastered on my face. Feeling proud.
Chris had reported it to the duke right away when I requested this kind of design. He thought that upon telling him, that my father might talk me out into changing it to something "appropriate." But sorry to tell you, Chris, this father right here is a simp to his daughter. But right after Chris finished the product and saw it worn, his mind was totally blown he ran back to the duke's office once again, this time bragging.
"You look wonderful, and it suits you well."
"I know! Whose daughter am I?" we both laughed.
"Shall we?" father said, motioning his arm.
"Uh-hmm," I replied as I clutched it to head out.