Chapter 65 - 43. Would I Kill Me?

I cautiously ate the delicious food Caligo's servants had served us.

I reasoned that he wasn't going to poison me, but still…

I took a bite of the succulent pieces of meat in my plate while Caligo stared at me.

It was uncomfortable, but I was hungry so ignoring him was easy for the most part.

"Thine men art dead." Caligo said, but I continued eating.

"How does this affect thee as their leader? Emotionally, I mean." He asked.

"Mmm? I wasn't their leader. We were sent here to die and buy time. That's it." I said with a surprising amount of resentment.

I didn't hate the old man for what he did.

He couldn't take me to wherever he was taking the Ia and if he left me in the dungeon, I'd most likely be killed when the humans eventually arrived.

And if they were idiotic enough not to search the dungeon, I'd just track the Ia down before guilting or threatening him to accommodate me.

I didn't know anything about being a host or whatever, but I was still a darkness magician.

"So, as far as thine kind are aware, thou art dead. What about thine parents? What did they have to say about this- well, I know thine father is dead, so what didst thine mother have to say?" Caligo asked.

"I don't know. She doesn't do or say much anymore. We all just assumed her mind broke at some point although some doctors said something was wrong with her brain."

"So thou were left to face thine fate alone… how tragic. But worry no longer. With my father's help, will thee attain new purpose."

"And what might that purpose be?"

Caligo looked up in thought.

"I cannot speak on behalf of my father, but I just know that we will usher in a new glorious age with our combined strength." Caligo said with a delighted smile and like before, it affected the very air which got a little warmer.

"I see."

"Yes, but enough about the future. I would like to know more about thine past. To be honest, this is the first time I have spoken to a mud crawler who was not the king or some other officials." Caligo said.

"My life was like that of any other Nemen child. I was given whatever I wanted whenever I wanted-"

"Was this back on thine home world?" Caligo asked.

"NO! I'm not that old." I snapped before remembering who I was talking to.

"Oh- my apologies." I said with a lowered head.

"Please, continue. Speak with me as thou wouldst a friend or a brother." Caligo said with a smile that lit up the room. Literally.

"Err… yeah." I said nervously before recounting my life's story.

.

..

Caligo's golden eyes dimmed somewhat as I drank some water from an obnoxiously golden cup.

"So yeah. That's my life."

I didn't really feel like telling him everything and so I omitted some things without outright lying to him.

"I see." He said flatly.

"Oh, I need no pity. Others have had it worse than me and I'm kinda glad it all turned out the way it did." I said before realizing that I had gotten far too comfortable with Caligo.

I needed to plot my escape and the darkness of the night would serve as my cover-

"Thou really art a disgusting man." Caligo said promoting me to frown slightly.

"What makes you say that?" I asked and Caligo crossed his arms in response.

"Has thou once ever done something that did not directly benefit thee? Or art thou a ravenous beast that feasts on whatever it desires whenever the ache visits its belly?" Caligo asked. His face mostly expressionless.

"Is there anything wrong with that? Living as you please so long as the option is available?" I asked through gnashed teeth.

"Yes. Because what thou seekest may be the property of someone else. What should they do after thou hast taken it?"

"Plot their revenge or something. I don't know." I said while avoiding Caligo's gaze.

"I refuse to believe that thou art that stupid."

I bit my teeth even harder.

"Thou knowest exactly what happens when people lose what they hold dear and judging by thine story, it brings thee nothing but pleasure."

"Ah… but that's all it was. A story." I muttered.

"Was there absolutely no truth behind thine words?"

"Some. The image you have is simply incomplete."

"Then is there more to thee, oh host of darkness?" Caligo asked.

"Perhaps." I whispered.

A moment passed as silence enveloped the tent.

Dammit!

I'd gotten distracted by him again.

"Anyway, enough about me. What about you? Who exactly are you apart from the warrior who selflessly defends his kingdom?"

Caligo looked up in thought.

"I am a the Golden Prince, son of the Moon King. I lead my people regardless of the age. I am a mentor, guiding light for all. I am a warrior, as thee said, but I am also a teacher. Should I go on?" Caligo asked with an obnoxious smirk.

"No need." I said while trying my best not to roll my eyes.

"What about thee, Kenos? What art thee, if not a hedonistic insect?" Caligo asked and although his question initially pissed me off, it got me thinking.

Apart from being the prince, I really wasn't much else.

Mmm…

I really needed to go.

"I am many things. One of those being an artist."

"Oh? What works hast thee created?"

"Mmm… allow me to correct myself. I am an observer… a researcher. I study the very dregs of my muses and note their every reaction."

"How dost thou draw out those… dregs, as thee called them?" Caligo asked with narrowed eyes.

"Various methods. I think a person is only ever their true selves when experiencing the greatest of pleasures and the worst of… pain." I hesitated as Caligo's eyes became their darkest.

"Is that so?" He asked as he stood up.

I tightly gripped my sword as he grabbed his Lance.

He then stood beside me while glaring at me, but unlike everyone else in my life, he didn't hate me or anything.

He was just… watching me.

Observing my every reaction.

"Wouldst thee mind showing me thy true self?" He asked.

"No, wait-!"

The world was bathed in a bright white light that blinded me and a loud pop temporarily took away my hearing.

My senses came back and my heart nearly seized upon seeing the tip of Caligo's Lance hovering mere centimeters from left eye.

The damned thing was glowing and thin flares of light erupted from its surface.

I looked at Caligo to find him still staring at me.

His face then twisted into a smile.

"Forgive me, I just want to see if I could test thine little theory, but I simply do not have it in me to torture others. If circumstances were different, I would have killed thee in a instant, but alas." Caligo said before returning to his spot where he sat while his Lance cooled down.

He then deeply sighed before laying on the soft bedsheets.

"Come now. Rest. We will begin our journey tomorrow. Oh and do not worry. I do not actually mind that thou art despicable. After all, the only one's thou hast ever hurt art thine fellow mud crawlers, so I will look past it. But fair warning, lay thine hands on a single human with the intent to harm and I will dedicate a lot of time to proving whether thine little theory was correct." Caligo said with a yawn.

He then fell over before closing his eyes, leaving me in a silence that almost choked me since my heart was beating like crazy and my throat was sore.

I drank the last of the water we were given before taking deep and even breaths.

I needed to escape and all of Caligo's light had given me an idea.

I closed my eyes and reached out to my core.

The place where my control over my aspect came from.

I tried going back to that dark world and like I expected, in the dark realm did I emerge.

I tried covering my eyes to shield myself from the intense light coming from next to me, but I didn't exactly have hands and so I turned away.

Around me was the tent and beyond it was the camp.

Based on my previous experience, I knew that whenever I moved around in this place, my body remained still and so I needed to find a way to bring my physical self here.

I looked down to find that beneath me was indeed my body, only it was a dark silhouette.

I focused on the dark orb in my chest and watched it passively absorb the darkness around it.

I reached out to grab the orb and just as my fingers touched it, I felt an incredible amount of pain in my chest.

I'd need to be careful.

I knelt before cradling the orb.

It seemingly floated in my body without weight and so I wondered what would happen if I placed the orb in my ethereal self.

I gently moved it towards my dark self and I internally gasped as my silhouette's overall shape faded.

It's essence transferred into me, but just as this process began, I heard a muffled voice from behind me.

"Kenos?"

I heard Caligo call.

This prompted me to quickly and painfully shove the orb into my chest.

"AHHH!" I silently screamed as my body fully manifested in the dark realm.

I turned around to find that Caligo was standing right in front of me. His body was a pure white silhouette and bursting out from him was an inferno of light that reached out toward the sky and even beyond.

"Mmm… so thou hast decided to run away. Try as hard as thou wilt, but I will take thee to Medelona." Caligo said as he reached out to touch me.

I held my breath as his hand approached my neck, but much to both of our surprise, his fingers slid through me.

I wasted no time in running out of the tent, but just as I left its flaps, a bright flash temporarily bladed me.

My vision returned and I saw Caligo standing in front of me with his Lance in hand.

I ran through him before making my way out of the camp via its southern exit and as expected, the many soldiers in an around the encampment were rattled by what was going on.

I ignored them all before rushing south towards the edge of the plateau.

I quickly noticed that I didn't have to breath in this dark world. Not only that, my steps were fast and light.

I made my way to the edge where I carefully climbed down to the foot of the plateau which was still littered with soldiers, but they seemingly didn't notice as I rushed past them.

I then began pondering where to go.

Father had sent the Foph east and so it's highly likely that he sent the Nemen west.

Would I be welcomed by either groups?

Were the Foph even still alive?

I decided to return to Iana.

I wouldn't get a hero's welcome, but they couldn't just kick me out, right?

I looked out into the desert and made my way south.

My sense of direction wasn't the best, but my connection to this dark world made everything so much clearer.

I could feel the presence of underground caves, distance towns and yes, even Iana.

I ran towards the dark structure in the distance, but just as I left the reach of the plateau, I sense something approaching and so I turned and saw Caligo standing right behind me.

This only prompted me to run faster as his light ate away at the darkness of my world.

"Thou cannot outrun me so please, return to this world and follow me peacefully otherwise I will have to take increasingly forceful measures." Caligo said. His voice sounded a little muffled, but I heard his words clearly.

Not that I cared.

I would return to Iana and seek shelter behind its walls.

.

..

I frantically ran over a tall hill and expected to see Iana sitting where it usually sat, but to my despair, the entire city was gone and a gaping hole had been left in the ground.

Strangely enough, the royal palace still was still there.

I ran down the hill before rushing towards the palace and with my quick steps, I eventually arrived at the palace's front gate to find it hanging open.

I cautiously entered and made my way to the front courtyard to find it deserted.

I bit my teeth as a certain presence appeared on top of the palace roof.

He stood there, spear in hand, while bathing my world in his detestable light.

"Is this thine home? Seems awfully desolate." Caligo said, but I simply bit before trying to piece everything together.

Erevu's plan was to move the entire city after all.

Ha!

That crazy old man.

Did he consider what the consequences would be if the transfer failed?

All those Ia… dead.

I moved thoughts towards the palace.

I slowly entered it to find that it was indeed empty-

Mother!

I ran up the central staircase and made my way to the royal bedchamber and I sighed upon seeing mother sitting on a chair next to the bed.

Surrounding her were some palace guards who must have decided to stay by her side.

They all seemed panicked and I knew exactly what was causing it.

I needed to lay low until Caligo left-

"Mmm… I guess I have to thank thee for leading me to thine capital city. Well, the city's remains." Caligo said from high above.

I frowned as the palace guards started panicking even more.

"What's causing this surge of heat?"

"You two, protect the queen. I'll go outside and what's going on!" One of the guards yelled as two others stood around mother.

They then raised their hands and did various things that I couldn't see in the dark realm.

Instead, I looked up and willed myself towards the roof.

I emerged on the outside to find Caligo floating high in the sky while raising his lance.

The damned spear was almost as bright as the sun-

Was he planning on throwing it at the palace?

"I will ask once more. Come with me to Medelona or I destroy this place." Caligo said.

I bit my teeth before looking down at the palace.

On one hand, I could just stay in this dark world forever.

I would have to find mother's remains and bury them, but at least I'd be free.

On the other, I could go with Caligo and only the Great Flame knows what would happen to me there.

No.

I couldn't risk it.

I didn't want to be subjected to whatever the Moon King and his son had in store for me and so I sunk back into the bedchamber where the knights all let out pained groans as the furniture around them seemingly melted.

"Do you think you can get the queen out?"

"I- I- can't feel my legs."

The knight standing to mother with his hands raised said.

I watched as her armor boiled.

I turned my gaze to mother who seemed relatively untouched by Caligo's magic.

She simply sat on her chair.

The knights all around her slowly died and the barrier protecting her must have broken because she loudly screamed as she was seemingly cooked alive.

I felt an excruciating amount of pain in my chest and even the dark realm trembled as I watched mothers skin harden from the burns.

I then turned a rage filled eye upwards and without thinking I swung my fist upward sending fourth a torrent of darkness from the abyss where Iana once stood towards Caligo.

The torrent tore open the roof of the palace in the fraction of a second and I watched as Caligo tried defending himself using his Lance, but the thing broke allowing the darkness to strike him.

Unfortunately, this attack was blown away by an explosion that dispersed all the darkness I'd sent.

Strangely enough, he began falling shortly afterwards.

I shifted my attention to mother.

I let out an animalistic growl as I stared at her unmoving corpse.

I wanted to return to the real world and see if I could still save whatever was left of my mother, but I was afraid of getting burnt by the visible waves that were the remnants of Caligo's light and so I floated to her side as her flesh sizzled.

Her once beautiful long hair had become a shriveled husk which was adorned with molten silver.

Minutes turned into hours as I floated in that dark realm and even though the flames eventually died, I remained in the dark world.

Even after the sun had long set I remained still.

Too afraid that Caligo had faked being injured all to lure me out.

To afraid of seeing what my mothers corpse really looked like.

I took a deep breath and walked out of the darkness to find myself in a burnt chamber.

Sitting before me, bathed in the light of the full moon, were the charred remains of my mother.

I fell to my knees, hurting them in the process, and reached out to touch her hand.

"Mother…" I said as my throat tightened severely.

I gently stroked the top of her charred hand as my body swayed from side to side.

"I… I never meant for this to happen. Any of it." I said with teary eyes.

"I… why didn't you say anything back then?" I asked as a frown formed on my face.

I wiped my years before looking up at monsters husk of a face.

"You should have scolded me. Told me to stay put. Kept me from doing all those things and yet you stood there, as silent as ever and you watched. You watched as I tore her body inside out. You watched as I broke myself over and over. You… this is your fault!" I said before standing up.

"Yeah. All this could have ended differently if you weren't so… so useless." I said with a chuckle.

I then placed my hands on my hips before facing the remnants of Iana that were visible from the hole.

Yes.

This too was all fathers fault.

What kind of king rolls over to die so easily.

The old fart must have finally seen his own incompetence and decided that the only way he'd be remembered in a positive light was if he died as some sort of tragic hero.

Ha! Of course.

If he were a better leader, he'd have whipped the Ia into submission and used the Foph as the kingdom's primary source of strong warriors, but no.

He allowed the schemers to scheme all while letting the one proud warrior tribes fall into stagnation.

Ah well.

Such is life.

A true leader was one who led with a firm yet gentle hand.

I was not destined to be such a leader, but that is what I envisioned a true leader would be.

I quickly cast aside all unnecessary thoughts before walking out of the bed chamber, but just as I left the room I burst out into laughter.

I laughed so loud and for so long that my throat ached. The laughter then turned into violent choking as my belly painfully convulsed.

.

..

Some time passed and I eventually stopped laughing.

I then made my way to my room to find that it too was mostly burnt down.

I walked over to one of the many drawers and tore open one of the bottom shelves.

I then grabbed an unburnt gown before leaving the room.

I left the palace via the eastern entrance and made my way back onto the desert as the night hung.

My goal was a certain hill just west of the city where I grabbed a certain golden blade which still glowed brightly. The damned thing was actually still quite warm.

I looked out to the west.

Father was not as foolish as I liked to think.

The Nemen were definitely out there somewhere but… maybe I was never meant to find them.

Maybe I was never meant to do anything or be anyone.

I sighed before looking north.

Caligo had supposedly returned to Medelona so I didn't have to worry about him.

Not yet, at least.

What I wanted was a nice dark place.

Somewhere where no one would ever find me.

I could go south, but I heard that place was extremely hostile.

I wanted to be alone, not to be mauled to death by viscous beasts and so I made my way northeast.

I could sense a rather concentrated amount of darkness hidden deep underground. Unfortunately, it was near that damned plateau. This wasn't to big of a deal since it was far east from where Caligo and his men had set up camp.

I dragged Caligo's blade with me while my vision danced between crisp clarity and almost blinding darkness.

I didn't care.

I just wanted to get as far away from Iana as possible.

.

..

I looked up at the plateau and sighed.

Climbing it wasn't the problem. Part of me just wondered why I wasn't born a human.

I scaled the plateau as the sun rose and as the world got brighter, my face twisted with scorn.

I eventually reached the top and began my journey north.

My heart raced excitedly as each step I took was like a dare to the golden prince or anyone else to come find me.

A few minutes passed before I eventually came across a waterfall and I could sense that there was a rather deep cave behind it.

I looked at the fresh water than ran deep into the forest, towards the edge of the plateau.

Taking a bath would be nice, but I didn't wanna stay out for any longer than I had to and so I jumped into the shockingly cool water before swimming to the other side of the waterfall where I found the entrance of the cave.

I made my way into the cave while letting out a low drone.

A deep and aching pain assaulted my chest and no matter how long I walked, it didn't go away.

Actually, it got stronger as I got deeper into the cave.

I eventually came across a large wooden double door.

It looked extremely old and strangely enough, frame was made of darkness.

I opened the large wooden doors and entered what appeared to be an old temple.

The temple itself was rather empty, but it's floor and walls were made from crystallized darkness. The engravings on the walls didn't look particularly man-made, but I had seen enough.

I decided that this would be the place where I rested and so I gathered all the darkness in the cave and carefully carved the chamber into a design I thought was fitting, but as the floors smoothed up, I heard a familiar noise in the silence

The screams.

This plus the pain in my chest drove me to tears, but I remained standing as my newfound chamber slowly completed itself.

At its front, was a dark throne.

I approached it as it slowly materialized and sat on it while it formed.

The pain eventually grew so intense that I scratched at the center of my chest.

Images flashed in my mind that made me go from scratching my chest to clawing at it while my throne room formed.

I let out a chuckle as I remembered Caligo's face.

If anything I wished I could thank him.

Due to his efforts, I was a free man.

Free to go off on my own path and make my own decisions.

I just wish I'd led him beat me up a little bit more.

With his large, strong hands and beautiful golden glare.

I gasped upon noticing that my fingers were covered in blood.

I looked down and saw that I had torn off some flesh from my chest.

It wasn't enough.

I wanted to know what Caligo would have done to me with his Lance if I'd pushed him far enough and so I created two large arms reminiscent of his and gave them his sword.

I then made one of them choke me as tears covered my face.

"Yes. Kill me." I whispered as the sword wielding arm rose.

It then readied itself to impale my chest and all I could think about was Caligo's eyes.

"Do it. Kill me." I said, but the dark arm trembled in the darkness.

"No, no, NO! He wouldn't hesitate! Just do it! KILL ME!" I screamed, but the arm didn't move.

I bit my teeth as I failed to grasp Caligo's true nature.

I didn't know how cruel or just he was.

Would he kill me?

Would I kill me?

Yes.