The room is dark and you can't see anything, you hear the negative voice again.
"Worthless..."
"Weak..."
"Sad..."
Those words hurt you and they knew it. You start walking faster down the hallway to escape the echo of negative words but the hall keeps getting longer, it was endless. You see a door at the end and run to it. You try opening it to escape but... It disappears. You're trapped as the words get louder and louder, you slide down the wall, trembling and panicking. You couldn't breathe or talk, This pain never ends... I'm trapped forever... I want to...
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
"Ahhhhh!" You yell as you shot up from bed to only realize it's your alarm beep. You look and see it's 5:30am.
"Just another bad dream? Why won't they stop happening?" You asked yourself. "Time to go workout for 4 hours."
You get out of bed and walk to your closet. You open it and take out a blue tank top, and knee length shorts to work out in. You put them on and go downstairs for some breakfast. You take out a protein shake from the fridge and drink it. You grab your keys and walk out of your apartment building. You open you car door and get in, driving past your favorite trees, Jacaranda trees. You loved the color and thought they were the most beautiful trees. After admiring them you arrive at the gym.
4 hours went by and you walk out of the gym ready to head back to the apartment. You got in the car and your phone started to ring.
Ring...
Ring...
You see who it is and answer it.
"Hello?"
???: "Hello, Y/n. I wanted to see if you were... Alright. You haven't called or came to see me in a few months. I wanted to make sure you are-"
"I'm fine, Amy. I've just been busy." I said with a frown, knowing I've just been depressed and not calling her or going to see her cause I feel like a nuisance. And she moved in with her boyfriend and his two guy friends. I don't trust guys, and barely trust women.
"I wanted to ask you a question." Said Amy.
"What?" I asked nervously.
"Well, I've been worrying about you lately and started thinking that it would be cool if you moved in with us."
Is she seriously thinking that I'm moving in with her and her boyfriend? And his two guy friends who always visit? No way.
"You know how I feel about guys." You put on your seatbelt. "I don't want to be around anyone right now. And Mark's friends always visit, I don't feel comfortable around a lot of people."
"They're all nice and respectful towards women. You should at least meet Tyler and Ethan, Ethan is your age and he's energetic and very sweet and loving." She said in a baby voice.
"Are you trying to convince me to meet a guy or adopt a dog? Either way, no."
"Will you at least visit me so I know you are doing good?."
I think for a minute. "Fine. But it will have to be around 5:00pm, because that's when I get done editing." You are an editor for a few gamers and make a decent living from it.
"Great! I can't wait to see you! See ya at 5:00pm." Amy hung up.
"What have I gotten myself into?" I asked myself. I started up my car and while driving, you go past your favorite trees in Los Angeles, the Jacaranda trees. They are purple and look magical. You liked sitting under them to read or just to look at the moon. They are your favorite. You drive back to the apartment.
Later...
It was 4:30 and you had gotten your editing done early so you thought about what you were going to do now.
"Damn, I forgot about Amy. I guess I'll get ready." I got up and went to the bathroom to shower. I shut the door and looked in the mirror. I could hear those words echoing again.
"Worthless..."
"Weak..."
"Annoying..."
I kept thinking it. "Why does Amy even want me over there? I just annoy everyone I meet. I definitely don't want to meet Mark, Tyler, or Ethan. They'll just be wondering why I'm not talking or making eye contact."
Eye contact was something you weren't comfortable with. Because of your ADHD you were always fidgeting and looking around and getting fixated on something moving.
"I just need to think positive. I can do this." You got in the shower and washed your hair. You step out of the shower and dry off. You turned the lights off and went to your closet to pick an outfit which didn't really matter to you cause you didn't care what people thought of your clothes. You pick a black wolf tank top with patchwork jeans and put on your purple converse shoes. You also put on a wolf paw necklace that glows in the dark. Your hair is light blue down one side and purple on the other and you wore it down.
You look in the full length mirror, you thought you looked great. You worked out 4 hours a day 5 days a week, so you are really toned and have a six pack but you sometimes felt awkward cause you were told by your narcissistic mom that you look to muscular and should look more feminine. You were feminine but liked being muscular, it made you feel great. You shook it off and put on a fidget ring that had gears on it. It's your favorite ring.
You take a deep breath and walked out of your apartment and got in your car. Here I go, to see Amy... To be continued.
Thank you for taking time to read my story. I will be doing chapter 2 eventually. Stay tuned 🙂