After this whole series of incidents, Shubh realized that, "Life is totally unpredictable. There is no way one can guess or plan the perfect future. Waiting for the opportunity or the happiness is worthless because someday, something may happen and you will regret for not approaching towards your wishes. Thus, never keep anything within your heart or mind. Just go and speak it out."
The death of his Grandmother had affected him. He wanted to share his grief and feeling with someone and that someone should be Laxmi, he wished. With such clear and new mind-set, he was all buckled up to not have any fear in life anymore. He was ready to go and propose Laxmi, whenever they meet next. He would not hold back out of fear for rejection and her already being in relationship. Luckily, during curfew ease, their college had decided to hold few classes in in physical mode.
He just wanted to go and talk to her. On the reopening day, he readied himself for facing her and expressing his feelings. When he reached college, she was nowhere to be seen. Maybe she would not be attending. Every time the back door opened, he just turned and wished she would enter the class. But he was disappointed each time. He had accepted her absence, just when he chose to turn around for last time. And he was happy to do so. Laxmi was walking forward in the same aisle.
She was wear light brownish yellow long kurta and looked stunning. The moment was recreated from their first view of each other. Shubh was sitting and just looked into her eyes. She too returned the eye contact till she passed him. It was just like reliving the moment of love at first site.
That day he tried to talk to her but he was all confused and lost. He waited to talk to her post lunch time. He couldn't wait for her to return. So he messaged her,
You'll come after lunch? : Shubh
Lax: Yes, only if any classes will be engaged.
Lax : find out and tell me na.
Mostly we'll have: Shub
Lax : Okay.
But unfortunately there was welcome program for freshers. Thus, Laxmi chose not to attend it. Shubh would have gone home as well. But by the time he knew she wasn't attending, the program had already started. His friends cursed him as well for making them stay for such a boring program.
He wanted to just say it out loud as soon as possible. He spent sleepless nights in her dreams and thoughts. He at least wanted to know if she is in relationship or not. Whenever he would be around her, he constantly gave out hints of being single. If she was anywhere near to be interested in him, she would have shown some approaching signs. He was out of all the luck.
They had started to talk a bit more now. They would hangout during the lunch break and have a good time. On one such occasion, when they were sitting together, she said to her friend, ''I wish I had a boyfriend here''
This statement caught Shubhs full attention. He thought she was giving out some signs, but he didn't believe his luck. He didn't even look in her direction. And his prediction about his luck was true. Her friend who was nearby said, ''Call him here then''
Now shubh was all clear and broken. He wished that it was just some remark or a taunt. He didn't want that statement to be true at any cost. That meant she already has someone in her life. It was truly difficult to accept that she may never be his. All he desired in his life was having someone to love and be loved. He was happy that she was satisfied and in joy, but it was also disheartening that he was not the person.
He still had hopes that, whatever he had heard may have missed the truth or misconception. Thus, he decided to ask her directly if she was in a relationship or not. Whatever maybe the answer, he would accept his fate. He shared his incidents with his friend. She offered him to help and find out if Laxmi truly had a boyfriend or not. But he refused because he wanted her to know, when he asks her the question, that he was interested in her.
In two days, he couldn't gather courage or time to ask. He just saw her each time like it was the last. Finally, there came another moment where it could have been confirmed that she was committed. They were having lunch in college, when he heard her telling her friend, "Mine tells me always to call him whenever I'm free."
This just was the final statement Shubh wanted to hear. It was now full and final that she can never be his. This also eradicated his fear of losing her. He decided to confess his feelings now without delaying much. He just planned a perfect time when he wouldn't have to face her for few days after the confession.
His maternal uncle had bought a flat in Belgaum, Karnataka. The place was in the neighboring state. According to Indian ritual, one has to perform house warming and puja before staying in any residence. Uncle had invited all of them to participate and share his happy moment. The day was supposed to be on Friday, and Saturday would be holiday anyway. Thus, Shubh decided to confess his feelings to Laxmi on Thursday. In this manner, they both would get time to adjust to the situation and not get awkward.
Shubh, on the other hand, wanted to see her and get hurt each time. He knew this was going to happen yet he didn't back out. All he wanted to do was just tell her everything and hope for acceptance but accept the rejection as well.
He wasn't willing to tell her directly. Thus he consulted Jan and told her the plan, "So, I was planning to ask her question if she has a boyfriend or not."
Jan asked, "Done? That's it?"
"Yes" replied Shubh "why to beat around the bush? Just ask directly and the matter is over."
Jan laughed hard and said, "Bro, you really need a relationship counsellor. I am not good at it but this is a bad plan."
"I don't want to elongate the moment dude" told Shubh "just want to get over it soon and fast"
"Okay, if that's what you want" said Jan "But sometimes girl can get uneasy with such questions you know. Don't make it awkward."
"Yeah I'll take care of that. I'll just ask the question in perfect situation. Anyway I know her answer. I just want her to know my feelings." Said Shubh.
"You are a fool my brother. All I can do is just wish you luck "said Jan.
He indeed needed luck to just get some alone time with her to as her the question. He thought all the possible scenes in which he would ask question but not reveal his feelings. He replayed all the moments stepwise in which he would proceed. However, this was the matter of heart and brains never work in such situation. He thought he was ready with full plan for questioning, only for time to unfold the real situation.