Shubh planned his questions for whole remaining three days. He went over and over his questions and scenario in his mind. He even considered backing out from this decision, but his sleepless nights in her memory made it unbearable. He just couldn't control his feelings now. He sometimes thought to just go and tell, in that exact moment, but backed downed. He wanted the confession to be indirect, just to make her think about him more, and also to be special in its own way.
The time she used to be around him, he would urge to look at her or say out loud his feelings. He wished her to feel the same as well. Unfortunately, he knew that it is almost not possible. Maybe once in million possibility to say yes. However, he was waiting for 4th of August to confess or question her to be precise.
The days seemed to move really slowly. It seemed to take years for that day to rise. To distract himself, he would stay away from her and yet urged to be near her. It seemed he didn't get enough time for her sights and also feel the pain of being near but yet very far. When at home, he worked out to keep his mind off. But these didn't show much result.
"Why was is it so difficult?" he questioned himself. "I know her answer. She already is committed. Why do I hope to have her? It's never going to be possible. Still I wish that to happen? Why?" These questions were simple but answers hurt the most.
Unanswered question leaves you a mystery
To search what's your destiny
Questions that are answered gives a relief
Revealing truth to induce pain heavily
The college was hosting a table tennis tournament just the day after he had planned to confess. Usually, he was selected for documenting the events in college camera. He hadn't told anyone that he was going to be absent on the day of the tournament. That gave him a good set of timeline for his plan.
The day to execute his plan had arisen. He was nervous and excited. He was in full form and confidence. He thought that nothing could stop him now. As soon as he reached college, he first checked out the attendance list to see if she is present. And he had a confused feeling, of either being sad or relieved, to see her empty signature box. He proceeded to class as usual.
They were anyway divided into batches, so there was no other chance to know her presence. But it seemed like the fate was playing some fun game. They were called together during the first period to instruct about the tournament to be held and also regarding an activity to stitch a huge Indian flag on occasion of Independence Day of India. That's when Shubh saw Laxmi and couldn't understand his feelings again. Now that she was in the college, he needed to follow his decision. It was now or never situation.
After delivering the instructions, all were again commanded to move to their respective classes in batches. Shubh now was scared that Laxmi might go home earlier if they didn't take any classes. He thought of telling her right then but there were others around them. So he messaged her in hurry, without thinking twice,
Hey, meet me before going home please: Shubh
Lax: Hi, what happened?
Now Shubh was caught in a trap, for he was bad at lying and creating some false reasons.
Just had some questions to ask: Shubh
Lax: what questions? Ask now itself.
It's just some questionnaire: Shub
Don't worry. Easy questions: Shub
Lax: okay.
Shubh thought that part was sorted. She won't go home without informing her and he will meet her only at that time. However, they had to gather in auditorium to prepare for the tournament as well as for the flag preparation. Shubh hadn't guessed even slightly that Laxmi would be so eager that she asked him loudly, "Hey, where is the questionnaire? Ask me now." Shubh just stood and did a quick scan to check if anyone has heard it or not. Luckily, all were busy in their work. He replied to her in cool manner, "Patience ma'am, you'll get to know it soon."
"Why, ask now and finish it off na."She requested.
Shubh thought of considering it but controlled himself for he wanted to be alone with her while confessing.
"No, No, while you are going home, tell me." Shubh replied and she stopped for that moment. They started working on their individual duties assigned and for some time Shubh was away from Laxmi. But again when they were sitting free for few moments, she started to ask him again. There were others as well and Shubh totally wanted to be dead right at that time. She was innocent, for she had no idea at all what he was going to say.
She was getting fed up of asking questions about Shubh's questionnaire. Finally, she warned, "I'm asking for the last time. Tell me now whatever you wanted to ask or else I'm forgetting about it and I won't answer it."
The warning was very sweet one for Shubh. He wished to have more of such warning from her in future. Unfortunately, those warnings were reserved for someone else already. Shubh knew this all and yet smiled and said, "Just wait till the end please. Don't worry, those will be simple questions."
"Okay now I don't want the questionnaire." Laxmi declared. But Shubh knew that it was a simple declaration and that she'll surely would agree to answer it. Time seemed to have slowed down. It seemed, God is giving Shubh more and more time to be with Laxmi and enjoy with her as much as possible, for she may not even look at him after that day.
All were having a great time. Shubh and his friends had circled around Dras to watch his dance performance. He wasn't a great dancer as such but he had requested Sai, Laxmi's best friend, to teach him the folk dance 'Lavani'. Therefore, all were eager to watch it and enjoy.
Laxmi was sitting all by herself. Shubh remembered her saying that she wasn't part of any group and always alone in college. So he went to her to call her and join the performance by Dras. She asked him for one last time about the questionnaire and Shubh avoided it that time as well. He just took her to the group and settled down quietly.
It was for the first time, Shubh and Laxmi were enjoying something together. He promised himself, if she was with him, he would have shown her more of such great times. But now being with her would soon be heart-breaking. He would soon have to face her, even after her knowing about his feelings, and yet not being with each other.