"Put the Ottsel down, lady!" Jak demanded, training his Vulcan on the queenly woman. "Who are you, and where did you come from?!"
"You may address me as Queen Victoria." (From Pirates! Band of Misfits.)
"Queen Victoria?!" Yuzu exclaimed. "Then Jinta was right! Queen Victoria really DID bargain with the angels for immortality!"
"What?" Augustus asked. "Get ahold of yourself, this is probably just some woman with a queen comple-"
"SILENCE!" Victoria commanded, the edge of her knife touching Daxter. "I came here for the Precursor Pair, but I don't mind leaving with this little delicacy. So, will you hand over the soup or not?"
"Hah!" Daxter scoffed. "This old hag sure is afraid to fight—aaaack!" Victoria tightened her grip.
"You're a member of Gourmet Corp., aren't you?" Augustus asked. "I know you guys ain't good sports, but we found this soup fair and square."
"Augustus, don't say that!" Yuzu shouted. "Let's just give it to her, we already let Gourmerry try it!"
"Damn right!" Jak argued. "I ain't letting you sacrifice Daxter over some dumb soup!"
"Just look at this lady. No way she can take all of us." August smirked. "And if she wants to eat Daxter, she couldn't just kill him right now."
"I beg your pardon?" asked Victoria.
"I just KNEW you would double-cross us!" Daxter yelled. "Kick his ass, Jak!"
"Miran society is built on the bodies of gigantic creatures, including this island. That's why there are so many sources of fresh Nature Chi, much like this Precursor Pair. And if you wanna bring out the full flavor of an Ottsel, you'd have to dip them in a pool of Light Chi and coat their fur gold, but it won't work if they're dead. I read about a hunter who did that. They said the taste was like a rich butter on a tender piece of sweet meat. They seasoned a bit of it with pepper that grows at Lavover Village, by the volcano, and mmm boy, did they make it sound good."
"Buttery fur… w-with Lavover Pepper…" Victoria seemed to become awash in daydreams, her mouth drooling. "Ottsel—AAAH!" Jak KICKED her in the jaw and knocked her back, dropping Daxter as he flipped onto his friend's shoulders.
"Damn, Jak, since when do you kick old ladies?"
"This one just pisses me off."
"Eh, don't beat yourself up for it." Augustus shrugged. "If she came out this far, she must have some merit. Gourmet Corp. doesn't just hire anybody. Well, except for Shy Guy grunts, I guess. Let's get going before she wakes up." He hurried past the fallen woman, the others following as Yuzu put a lid over the pan. "Check it out, another passage." The wall of the corridor they had passed through was open. "She must've come this way. We can probably go out-"
"Giiive baaack my OTTSEL…" Victoria began to rise like a zombie, the group readying their selves. "I want Ottsel for dinner, and I want it NOW!" Her neck suddenly stretched!
"AAH!" yelped the girls. Victoria's arms became black wings, her legs became birdlike, but with sneakers, and she assumed the body of an ostrich. "She's an ostrich?!" asked Daxter.
"She's a Devil Fruit eater!" Augustus deduced.
"We can take her, right?" Jak asked.
"Let's just get outta here, come on!" August lifted Tama on his shoulders and ran. (Play "Dark Eco Plant" from Jak!)
The crew bolted up the hall as the ostrich pranced after, with Jak shooting the Yellow Blaster at weak pillars to make them fall and hinder Victoria's progress. They leapt up some platform pillars to reach a higher route, and afterwards had to navigate a zigzaggy hall with multiple turns. Ninja Guys tossed shuriken at them from random turns, but August plowed the Shy Guys down with no mercy. The group held onto each other as August latched his Licorope to a ceiling handle, swinging over a chasm. He quickly retracted and latched the rope to other handles and continued swinging, but Victoria had caught up, flapping over the pit to catch up. Once they landed on a foothold, Yuzu shot a Soul Arrow at Victoria's wing to make her flinch and drop, but she grabbed onto the edge with her beak.
They kept running, but were stopped by a thick shutter door. August and Jak shoved their fingers under the bottom, mustering the strength to pull up. They hoisted the door up just as Victoria was climbing up, and they got under and let the door drop, blocking the ostrich. Another door blocked them, but the rim was up top this time. August and Jak jumped some platforms on the sides to reach the rim and grab it, letting their bodies weigh down. The door was pulled down and open. Victoria hoisted up the previous door with her beak, but she couldn't catch them before the 2nd door sealed, the woman thrusting her head over as the door pinned her neck.
They had entered a vast chamber with only a chasm and a flight of stairs ascending and snaking around the chamber. The light of the outside world shone at the top, so the crew began to race up. From the top, Shy Guys were rolling barrels down, which Jak destroyed with his guns and August his fists. Victoria was able to shove the door down and prance up the stairs on her sneakered talons. The ostrich hacked coconuts with the strength of cannonballs from her throat as they launched toward the hunters. Augustus smacked the projectiles away, leaving Jak to fend off the barrels. As the chase prolonged, the Shy Guys unfortunately ran out of barrels to throw. So, they decided to be the barrels, bouncing and rolling down the stairs, but they were disposed of just as quickly by Jak's Scatter Gun.
"Get in my belly, Ottsel!" Victoria demanded, catching up with the crew. "Spitting these coconuts is making me hungry!" She hurled one more at point-blank range.
Augustus stopped the nut in both hands, clutching and spinning as he channeled Haki to it. "You need to change your diet!" He tossed the nut straight back, having willed it to spin as it drilled against Victoria's body. Because of the coconut's girth, it didn't spin as quickly, nor did it stay airborne long before it hit the stairs. "FORK!" Augustus leapt down and JABBED the ostrich with fork-shaped Haki, forcing Victoria off the stairs. The wannabe queen flapped her wings to keep from falling, but she had to flap down to a lower part of the stairs. The crew escaped the temple as the cloudy, rainy light of the outside touched them. (End song.)
They rushed down a flight of natural, grass-covered stairs along the cliff, leading into a trench passage. "Haylee, this is Augustus." He spoke into the communicator. "How are things on your end?"
"The villagers retreated to a safe place. There's a lot of robots and fighter planes with two officers in charge of them, but we've been fending them off pretty well. There's a guy with a laser sword that's been a big help!"
"Haylee, we've got the Precursor Pair! Try to let the robots know that and get back to the ship! We'll be able to lure them away."
"Aye-aye, Captain. Don't wait up!"
The group halted to catch their breath. "This is where we part ways, Jak. You should get to your village." August suggested.
"Fine by me. I was tempted to ditch you in that temple, anyway."
"Hey, that thing you said about Ottsels." Daxter brought up. "Was that story true?"
"No, I just made it up. But a guy can't help but wonder~"
"Keep your teeth off me, buddy!"
"Let's just go, Captain." Yuzu insisted. "We're sorry for troubling you two."
"At least you admit it." Jak remarked. "But I gotta admit, that's some damn good soup."
"Then let's meet again sometime! I'll be glad to give you more!"
Sandover Village
Sandover was a normally peaceful, windmill village along the south coast, but the houses and farms had become vacant under this rainy weather. "BACK SLASH!" Shulk slashed the Monado at the back of Eustace's Mechon.
"EEEH!" Eustace retaliated by swiping his claws back, but Shulk jumped back in evasion. "You really need to learn to mind your business, brat!"
"Why do you have this Mechon armor?! Did you steal it or are there Machina working with you?"
"Shut your mouth!" Eustace furiously slashed at the boy, Shulk positioning the Monado in defense.
Haylee was piloting the Ace Flyer, engaged in a dogfight above the village. Quite literally, it was a dogfight: she was shooting down small planes piloted by aviator dogs. Maggie Simpson occupied the backseat and helped shoot the dogs down. The leader of the dogs was a human piloting a larger plane, and under his aviator's hat, he seemed like a wide-faced, wrinkly old man. Haylee dove her plane down into a trench, curving it sideways to fit. The planes pursued, but the dog planes bumped and crashed within the small space. Haylee escaped the trench, but the enemy leader was still chasing, blasting bullets and damaging one of the wings of Haylee's plane.
"The sky's no place for amateur pilots!" the man declared.
"I ain't no amateur, old timer!" Haylee faced back and tipped up her goggles, sporting a proud and perky smile as her pigtails flapped behind her. "Name's Haylee, and I'm a natural-born Gilligan!"
"Gilligan?"
"Huh? What's that, Captain?" Haylee pretended to say into her communicator, speaking loudly over the wind. "You got the Precursor Pair? Got it! I'll get back posthaste!"
"What?" asked the old man in shock.
Haylee dove the plane back to the village, seeing Stewie in Hulk form helping Shulk against Eustace, as well as Rallo attacking smaller Mechon with his musicbending. "STEWIE! RALLO! Hop in, we're returning to base! We got what we need!"
Perking up, Stewie stomped across the beach on his way to Rallo, grabbing the afro-headed boy and tossing him skyward. Rallo landed in Haylee's plane, and Stewie jumped up afterward, shrinking back to infant form to fit. Haylee thrusted the plane up and flew across the sea.
"Eh? Where are those runts going?"
"Eustace!" The elderly pilot flew near him. "That girl said her captain got the Precursor Pair! We need to go after them!"
"Why didn't Victoria stop them?! Dagnabbit! Muntz, grab your stupid dogs, I'll look for Vicky, that useless…" Eustace's Mechon lifted up and took flight.
The man known as Muntz twisted his plane back to return to the canyon. "Hmph…a Gilligan, eh…"
Shulk grit his teeth, his Monado powering down. The smaller Mechon had retreated as well, the atmosphere settling down as the rain washed the quiet village. After a while, Jak and Daxter arrived at the village. "Shulk, is everything alright?"
"I protected the villagers, and those pirates helped. I guess they aren't all bad. Just now, the enemies retreated. What were you doing?"
"Those pirates made us go into that temple and look for some dumb soup!" Daxter answered. "We got attacked by Mechon in there, too. I'll sure miss Tama's Sweet Cheeks, though~" He smiled dreamily.
"Augustus said those guys would leave the island if they took the Precursor Pair." Jak explained. "Looks like he was right. He said they work for Gourmet Corp.."
"Gourmet Corp.? Does this have to do with that event that's taking place?"
"I can't imagine what else." Daxter remarked. "Every time an event happens somewhere, the whole universe gets dragged into it! They just need to stop hosting events."
"I guess we should bring this up with our teammates." Shulk said. "I hope this doesn't turn into another crisis."
"According to what they told me, it might be." Jak replied. "Hmm…I guess I'll have to consider waking that Blade after all."
Ace Hunter
Once the pirates regrouped in the flagship, they quickly exited the planet's atmosphere. The Precursor Pair was shared with everyone as they recapped each other's stories. "So, those guys were Gourmet Corp.." Haylee said. "Are they affiliated with the Big Mom Pirates?"
"I'm sure they've done business with them. Heck, maybe Big Mom tried to recruit them a few times. Either way, they're not as dangerous or well-known, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't worry about them."
"Do you know who the members are?" Yuzu asked.
"Not exactly, but if I could learn their identities, I could maybe say more."
"The one controlling the robot was named Eustace." Stewie remembered.
"I cannot say more. The only Eustace I know is the old pirate, but I doubt it's him."
"If Gourmet Corp. is willing to hurt innocents to get what they want, we can't just ignore them." Yuzu said. "We should tell the KND about this."
"Definitely." Haylee agreed. "I'll go and contact GKND."
"But anyway, what do we do next, Captain? Are we on the right track? Gourmerry sure seems to like the soup, and she's treating it differently from the other meals…"
"Then maybe this is the right answer." August twirled the next lollipop in his fingers before sticking it in. "A meal alone won't satisfy her, she needs an adventure to go with it. Heh, a true Linlin."
"I'm pretty sure you're the only adventurous Linlin."
"So, what do ya say, Gourmerry?" Augustus pulled out a menu book with a picture of the Firstborn and empty slots. "Should I add the Precursor Pair as your 'Soup' dish?"
"Gourmerry!" she perked up.
"Heh heh!" August got a pen and wrote the soup's name in that slot.
"August'n, we must savor the soup, hai?" Tama asked. "Dost O-Merry need to devour Full Course once we hath it all?"
"You know, I might be able to replicate this soup myself." Yuzu smiled. "Now that I'm tasting it, we just need to gather the right ingredients. Of course, I might ask GKND to do that, just so we don't prolong the mission, heheh."
"So, where to next, Cap'n?" Rallo asked.
"You know," Stewie began, "I was doing a bit of research on other potential ingredients. Some hunters have talked about an amazing drink said to be on Historia."
"His…toria?" Tama repeated.
"What's it called, Stewie?" August asked.
"Emerald Green Spring. It lies in the Stone Kingdom."
"I think that'll be perfect! I'm sure Tama must be a little homesick."
"Mayhaps… a bit." Tama replied quietly. "But August'n, O-Tama fears if her grandfather will force her to return."
"But you're from Wano, Tama. Stone Kingdom is different. I just think it'll be cool for Gourmerry to see your home planet, at least."
"Hmm…mayhaps it wouldst be nice to visit!"
"But we'll have to go through Intergalactic Travel to land on Historia." Yuzu reasoned.
"No worries! During the Gourmet Hunt, they let hunters fly down for free… provided they show a card."
"You know you're a wanted man traveling with an illegally kidnapped Historian girl, right?" Rallo asked.
"Duh! That's why I'm going there the same way we went the first time. But I'm sure Yuzu will want to go the legal way. Oh, NEEEL!"
A ray of light shone in the cabin: a tall and thick-legged cavewoman appeared, her long hair cyan and a green, cloth dress covering her. She had a broken horned skull mask and a purplish-red line painted on her face. "AUGSUS!" the Neanderthal cheered as she jumped her captain, smooshing him to her robust chest. "Nel was waiting and waiting! She cannot bear to not be on 'venture with Augsus! …" She glanced at Yuzu. "Who is unbudded girl?"
"Unbudded?!"
"Yuzu, Nel here will be your 'hunter' escort to Historia."
"Is she a hunter?"
"As far as the government knows, yes." Stewie replied, presenting a Hunter's Card. "I've procured this card and hacked the website to recognize Nel as a hunter. Just in case we needed it."
"Once Nel gets you on Historia, leave the rest to her." Augustus assured. "We'll be right there with you~"
GKND H.Q.
Operatives had stayed clear of the cafeteria ever since Yuzu had gone. The cloud of smog that loomed near the ceiling was a sign of the curse that had befallen this place. "Uhh…" On her way to get some food, Apis of Sector W7 looked upon the smoggy room with repulse. "What's going on in here?"
Bender Rodríguez, the robot immune to the toxic fumes, whistled a merry tune as he dipped cigar drops into a boiling pot. "These should add a little extra flavor. Cigar buds go great with heat. Now I'll just add the octo's rocks," he dropped an armful of rocks into the pot, "or, wait, was it the octo's rocks, or the actual Octoroks? …Meh, I'll balance it out with some Whomp teeth." He grinded some stone teeth into dust in his hands, letting it scatter into the pot.
"Hello? Yuzu, are you in here?" Bender turned to the entrance as Apis walked in, keeping her breathing minimal. "Oh, it's you, Bender. Where's Yuzu?"
"I dunno. She went somewhere with Augustus, and I think they took Gourmerry."
"Gourmerry? That's interesting. Maybe they learned something."
"Make sure you fill your Toadpoli with 10 Ordon frogs. Make its belly nice and big before squeezing the jelly in."
Apis looked at the mini TV, which displayed the Neptunian chef, Elzar at Cooking Fest. "Wait, did he say Ordon frogs or ordinary frogs?" Bender asked, stuffing the blue Toadpoli with red and blue frogs. "Is Ordon a place in Hyrule? Is the color important? His are green…"
"Hey, can I help?" Apis asked.
"You a cook?"
"I cook for my friends sometimes. …I'm certainly not the best, but I'd like to make something for the festival."
"Well, pop on a hat and get cookin'!" Bender swapped out Apis's pointed white hat for a chef's hat. "You have the honor of being the apprentice to Iron Chef, Bender! Cooking is my 3rd hobby behind bending and burglary, so I'm a natural!"
"Heh heh! I'm excited to work under you! My friends are in for a real treat!"
Intergalactic Travel, near Historia
Haylee drove Yuzu and Nel to an Intergalactic Travel station on an average hovercar that the pirates "procured." The two stepped off and entered the reception room, seeing a few travelers getting dressed to head to their desired area on Historia. However, there was a particular stand labeled "Gourmet Hunters." As Yuzu followed Nel to that desk, she mentally questioned what the plan was to sneak Augustus onto the planet, and how much trouble they could get in if they were caught.
"Nel and Small-Chest Girl want go to Stone Kingdom." Nel showed the receptionist her card. The receptionist, a Pumparian man, took and scanned the card.
"Ah, Miss Nel, eh? I see you're already dressed for the part." He acknowledged Nel's primitive appearance, her legs looking strong and pumped with much combat experience. "I'd hate to be the beast that has to battle with you!"
"Green Man flatters Nel. But Nel save herself only for Augsus~"
"Augs-who?"
"Uh, she has a boyfriend." Yuzu said quickly. "Do I need to get dressed?"
"You're her chef companion? Yes, we'll show you to the changing room. And I'm sorry to say you'll have to turn in any modern-day items, including cooking utensils. It may be a Gourmet Hunt, but Historia's customs must be honored. On this planet, especially Stone Kingdom, you must hunt with only your hands and whatever tools you can find."
"Of course! But, we'll be able to bring our captured ingredients back home, right?"
"Yes, of course!"
In the changing room, Yuzu discarded her green sweater, blue strap-on shoes and pink socks. She put on a blue dress made of some ancient cloth with a jagged skirt, tied with a thick rope at the waist, as well as sandals made of stone that were six inches high. "Whoa!" She had trouble balancing on the tall footwear. "Do Stone Kingdom people really walk in these?!"
"Ha ha! Yuyu silly!" Nel laughed.
Yuzu glanced down at Nel's bare feet. Clearly, she felt more comfortable without footwear, and Yuzu wondered if she would have a hard time in these sandals. "You know what, who needs shoes?" Yuzu stepped out of the sandals and kicked them away. "Shoot, if other operatives don't need them, it shouldn't be that bad! Let's go, Nel!"
Once they were prepared, the duo rode an escort ship down to the historical planet. Yuzu remembered reading about Historia on the Guide to the Galaxy: it was composed of ancient Earth cultures such as Medieval Europe or Feudal Japan, and the Galaxian government did their best to keep its nature and history free from modern technologies, with the minimal exceptions being these transport ships or metahumans.
"I must say," began the pilot, "Stone Kingdom has been rather popular lately. Another hunter and his chef have already gone down here, and there's been a handful of other visitors, too. That Senku fellow certainly seems to like it down here, heh."
Twilight was nearing over this region as the transport dropped them off in a jungle. "We'll return for you after a day has passed." the pilot said. "You have until then to search for whatever ingredients you want. Good luck, ladies!" The ship took off before any nearby locals could be alerted.
The jungle seemed to stretch for miles, with some mountains and rivers in the distance. "Not so much a Stone Kingdom as it is a Plant Kingdom." Yuzu commented. "So, Nel, what's the plan to…" She heard a plop. "Nel?!" To her shock, the cavewoman had collapsed on her back. "Nel! What's wrong?!" Yuzu bent over the woman, shaking her. "Are you sick?"
She gasped when a ray of light shone down: Nel had Descended once more with August, Tama, and Gourmerry in her arms. The Arrancar returned to her Gigai immediately. "Oh, Historia, it's good to be back!" Augustus sprung up with arms spread. He was wearing a baggy, light-brown robe, pants, and shoes, while Tama stuck to her traditional outfit. "Yuzu, I saved this for you." He reached in his Infi-Cube and tossed Yuzu's wristband.
"W-Wait a second! You came here through the Spirit World?!"
"Of course! It pays to have a cavegirl spirit as a crewmate."
"B-But won't you get in trouble with the Spirit KND or something?"
"The SKND brought Nel to me in the first place because I was the only one who could 'tame' her. Otherwise, she becomes a monster of a Hollow."
"How did you even meet her?"
"It's a long story, but basically, I traveled back in time to dinosaur days, fed her some candy, then she fell in love with me. I met Nel when she was still a kid, but she died about this age and her spirit still held love for me for millions of years."
Nel compressed her Gigai down to child form, pouncing onto Augustus's shoulders. "Nel never forget that day." The cavechild nuzzled the captain's head.
"I'm getting a headache…" was Yuzu's only response to the brief, but confusing story. …She glanced over at Tama, who was walking forward with a calm, reserved expression.
"Gourmerry…?" The Firstborn could sense her carrier's feelings.
"This is… O-Tama's world. 'Tis a different place… but O-Tama's home is somewhere…"
Tama had never journeyed far into the forest where her hometown lied. All she would do in a day was look for fruit or practice Ninjutsu. Though she and her grandfather lived in slight poverty, her river town was peaceful and her life was simple.
"Huh?" Tama gasped. During one of her ventures into the forest, she heard a twig crack from behind some trees. Tama grabbed her bamboo staff and clutched it readily, bearing a fierce, but worried expression. She carefully stepped forward, ready to whack whatever beast may attack her.
"Oh, hey there!" Augustus leaned around a tree.
"YAAH!" O-Tama leapt and slammed her stick, but Augustus blocked it with a Haki arm. After landing on her feet, Tama observed the stranger more closely. "Wait… thou art not beast."
"Nope! Just a friendly alien visitor."
"Huh? O-Tama dost not understand."
"What I mean is I'm from outer space."
"O-Tama still dost not understand."
"Outer space. You know, the sky? The stars at night?"
"…?" Tama still appeared royally clueless.
"Bruh, I think she means she don't understand your language." Rallo inferred. Tama gasped, seeing the shorter, dark-skinned boy.
"What art thou?" Tama put her hands to his fluffy afro. "Didst O-Tama discover rare animal?"
"Here, have this." Augustus poked his finger in her ear.
"Aaah! What didst thou put in Tama's ear?!"
"It's a translator! Do you understand me now?"
"O-Tama…oh?" She perked up. "O-Tama… dost understand."
"Your name's O-Tama, huh? I'm Augustus. This here is Rallo."
"Uck." Rallo scoffed. "Your name reminds me of an evil politician."
"I don't think the 'O' is part of the name. It's a prefix that all the girls use in this region."
"Where didst thou come from? Thou doth not look like Tama's people."
"We're from outer space. Do you know the stars you see in the sky at night? That's where we come from."
"The… stars?" Tama gazed up at the morning sky. "Thou…thou jest…"
"It's true, kiddo. If you don't believe me, I'll bet you guys don't have this." Augustus reached into his pocket and pulled out an Infi-Cube. Tama gazed at the strange box… and gaped as Augustus sank his whole arm in. He withdrew a gold bar labeled 'Wonka.' "Try it." Augustus unwrapped the gold, revealing chocolate underneath.
"What is… piece of rectangular dirt?"
"It's candy, Tama. Bite it."
"Can…dy?" Unsure of his intent or meaning, Tama put her teeth to the bar. She bit carefully, but it snapped off easily. The chocolate settled on her tongue like a tasty food. She chewed the bar instinctively, the taste and texture of the sweet making her euphoric. She swallowed the bite blissfully. "This is… such amazing food! O-Tama hast never eaten something so good…"
"If you want, I have plenty more." Augustus offered. "Have it all if you like."
"She is gonna get hella fat." Rallo said.
"Come on, it ain't that much. …Sniff, sniff." An awkward smell touched his nose. "You don't brush your teeth much, it feels like. I have some toothpaste, too, hold on…"
That was Tama's first exposure to the outside world. Or should she say universe. Her first bite of candy and her best teeth-cleaning ever. Fluoride-free toothpaste was the best kind, Augustus had told her. While she had been fine with her simple life, those tastes opened her eyes to a greater world. Even as she stood on the soil of her homeworld, she had experienced so much outside this atmosphere that even this soil felt brand new. Well, of course it was a different region; it wasn't like Kawa Town was her whole world, even if it felt like it.
"So, not only did you sneak an Infi-Cube on the planet," Yuzu replied after Augustus recapped the meeting, "but you just fed candy to a random local you met? You really have no concern for consequences, do you?"
"Ain't that what the KND was built on? You guys saved a bunch of kids from prolonged imprisonments, now it was my turn!" The captain plopped his hand over Tama's purple-haired head. "You aren't mad that Slag kidnapped you, are ya, Tama?"
"No! O-Tama was so happy!" She cheered with fists pumped. "O-Tama is not only ninja, but Pirate Ninja Hunter!" ("Gourmer!")
"Tee hee hee!" Yuzu giggled. "Well, be that as it may, let's start hunting for the Emerald Spring. I think I should bring out someone more suitable for this environment." She turned her arm up and cranked the dial underneath. "Zzzt!" Yuzu jolted and fell over. The group studied her curiously for a second.
"YYYYYO!" And Yuzu was back on her feet, her eyes dimmer, but her soul more fiery and ecstatic. "What is up, home bros?! Wait, who the hell are you weirdoes?"
"You must be the split personality." August deduced. "Well, we're-"
"Kiddin', I know who ya are! Me and her have been training to share memories. Uh, what's your name again?"
"O-Tama."
"O BABY!! Halright then, I'm ready to get down and dirty, Stone Age style! Heh, I'm gonna need a hella bath after this!" (Play "Deep Jungle" from Kingdom Hearts!)
Menu 2: Emerald Green Spring
Recipe: Search for any locals in the Stone Kingdom.
Act 1
With Yuzu taking the lead, the group traversed down a dirt road, but several tall mounds blocked the path. Yuzu climbed and hopped over the mounds with ease, while Nel had to grow to adult size to throw Tama over and help Augustus up. They dropped down the other side, but Yuzu was already far ahead of the crew, racing up to another mound to pounce up it. "Man, she's really getting into it!" Augustus panted, trying to keep up. "Hey, slow down for us!"
"Nel can't let Yuyu beat her!" Nel pranced after the chef and swiftly skipped up the mound. Nel had just caught up with Yuzu, but quickly halted when she realized they were at a cliff. The pegs of a broken bridge stood at either side, but Yuzu shot Soul Arrows at both sides to link the pegs with a Soul Rope. They could balance over the energy rope, waiting for their friends to catch up. Past the trench, they entered a slightly open part of the jungle with several mounds and a river flowing through. "Hm!" Nel stopped them.
"Wut?" asked Yuzunite.
Nel narrowed her eyes up at a mound. …There was a light-green ball with a leaf sprouting from the top, and big, white eyes staring at them. "It's a melon?" August asked. "Or… is it a creature?"
The melon perked up and rolled away. "It IS alive!" Yuzu raced across the river and up the mound. She found a small garden of melons, but she quickly noticed the one with eyes and ran to it. The melon bounced and dodged her hands before rolling through some bushes. "Hey, where you going?!"
"Was it some sort of giant bug?" Augustus asked, climbing up after. "What do you think, Yuzu?"
"Pssh, I don't know anything about that cheffing shit." Yuzunite retorted cluelessly. "Observation Haki? What's that? But if it looks good eatin', I'm game."
"Let's just go after it!" August insisted. They ran through the bushels and saw the melon bouncing up a rather bumpy, shrub-covered hill. Nel ran forward first—she stepped on a wire trap that launched arrows at her, but she ducked in time. Yuzu shot arrows along the ground to set off the other traps, allowing them to proceed without trouble. The melon creature rolled into a long, hollowed log while Nel and Yuzu ran along the top of it. August and Tama assumed a more balanced composure as they crossed over the chasm. "Huh? Tama, look at that."
August spotted a large, pumping device down in the gorge. "That looks like a pumpjack, like what they use to pump oil. That shouldn't be in a place like this."
"Is it dangerous?"
"Not inherently… but somehow, I feel like I ain't the only one up to illegal stuff."
There were a bunch of tall, vertical logs growing from a chasm, and the melon was casually bouncing across them. Nel leapt them as well, but one of the logs toppled over from her weight, so she leapt back to the previous one. Nel memorized the logs the melon jumped, so Nel jumped those logs and confirmed they were safe. The cavewoman chased the melon down a bumpy hill, but she unknowingly stepped on a hidden switch that made a catapult launch up from the side and dump rocks on her. "Waaaah!" The rocks caused Nel to tumble down the hill, plopping at the bottom. She peeped her head up to see a field of holes, in which the melon peeped out of one.
Nel pounced, but the melon sank into the hole. It poked out of another, Nel pounced, but it sank. "Nel will get you!" Nel shrank to kid form and dove into the hole as well. The melon panicked at seeing Nel in her underground zone, the cavegirl crawling to catch it. However, the melon stretched a human body with a blue dress and clambered out of a hole—only for Augustus to grab its leaf and pull up.
"Hah! I got it—wait…" Augustus was quick to notice the melon's flailing legs, wearing small stone sandals. Its "dress" was kept suspended by its arms, and it had a rope necklace. "What are you?"
"Let me go! Suika was just looking for rocks."
"Yonder fruit talketh!" Tama exclaimed.
"First Daxter and now we've found another strange creature that talks." Augustus said. Nel had climbed out of the ground and up onto her captain's shoulders.
"Can we still eat it?" Yuzu asked.
"Hah, now look who's hungry! So, Melon Girl, you live around here? What were you looking for rocks for?"
"Senku asked Suika to collect rocks. She wants to be useful to Science Kingdom."
"Science… Kingdom?"
"Ah! S-Suika means Stone Kingdom! No science!"
"Ah…so, there IS something illegal going on! Or else, how are you understanding my language?"
"Ahhh! Suika knows nothing!" She shook free and compressed into her melon, rolling away like an armadillo. The crew chased the child through a thicket of bushes, entering a slightly open grass patch. Nel glanced up, seeing something whoosh above the leaves. (Play "Holy Bananas!" from Kingdom Hearts!)
"Augsus, watch out!"
A figure whipped their leg down, August blocking it in time with his arm, but the figure returned to the leaves. Augustus listened for the rustling, turning left, but the figure rushed out from the right, lashing their knife at whipping speed, but August countered with Fork, the figure dodging and jumping to a branch.
"Kohaku! Strangers tried to eat Suika!" cried the Melon Head.
"They tried to eat you?!" Kohaku asked in shock. Kohaku was a blonde, slender teenager with hair tied in a spiked bun, a blue dress similar to Yuzu's, tied with a rope, stone sandals, and a small shield on her back. "Why? Just who are you?"
"Whew!" Augustus whistled, tipping up his sunglasses. "Now, there's a looker! Whaddya say to joining my crew, cutie?"
"Yuck, you really are a creep." Yuzu retorted.
Nel gasped with worry, thoroughly studying the girl: Kohaku's breasts looked soft and round. Her legs were sturdy and flexible. Her eyes were blue and fierce, yet possessed a sign of kindness. "Big chest…" Nel studied her tiny chest. "Long legs…" She looked down at her tiny feet. "Augsus want tall, physically appealing girl…" The cavechild throbbed with superb envy. "YOU NOT TAKE AUGSUS!" And she inflated to her adult form, launching up with a powerful kick to her rival!
Kohaku's foot impacted Nel's, the native landing on the ground and striking Nel with a flurry of kicks and strikes from her dual knives. In the spectators' eyes, Kohaku's movements were like gusts of wind, yet they felt no Air Chi from her. Nel blocked just as swiftly, thrusting a kick up at Kohaku's head. The native leapt back and rubbed her jaw, retreating into the bushes. Kohaku's form blurred as she whooshed around the area, tossing a knife at Nel's leg, but she raised that leg and stomped the knife down. The 2nd knife flew from a different angle, but Nel grabbed it before it hit her back. Kohaku rushed out for kicks, but Nel returned her own kicks. She slashed the knife at Kohaku, who blocked with her shield, but Nel grabbed the grounded knife in her toes and tossed it to scrape Kohaku's leg.
Kohaku knelt, but suffered another kick to the face, prompting her to retreat to the bushes. She grabbed the tossed knife and ran out, attempting to stab Nel with rapid thrusts. Nel dodged for a bit before CLAPPING the knife in her hands, binding Kohaku and kicking her stomach to force her off. Now with both knives, Nel began attacking Kohaku with similar combos of strikes and kicks, but they were slower than Kohaku's as the latter was able to swiftly take her weapons back with quick arm-work. Kohaku swung overhead strikes as Nel blocked with her arms, allowing Kohaku to stamp Nel's toes. The cavewoman faltered, and Kohaku sliced her stomach. Nel retreated, stomped the ground, and lunged at Kohaku, tackling her to the ground and clawing her face.
Kohaku flipped them over and hopped off, Nel getting up as well. "Only Nel mature enough for Augsus!" The cavewoman charged her again—"Oh?" and suddenly deflated to child form, ramming Kohaku's legs with a weak bump. "Uhh…" The child looked up at the taller warrior, a curious expression on her features. "Ahh! Nel use too much energy! Nel don't want small! Nel want big!" She stuck a thumb in her mouth and tried to blow up.
"That's a weird Gigai…" Augustus commented.
"Aww, so you're actually a little cutie, are ya?" Kohaku asked, picking the child up in her arms like a gentle big sister.
"No!" Nel shook immaturely. "Nel is big girl! She is ripe for Aughsucks! You can't have him!"
"Yay! Kohaku won!" Suika cheered.
Unbeknownst to her, a Tama clone was sneaking up. "HO!" She caught Suika in an arm lock. "O-Tama hast thee! Release O-Nel, warrior woman!"
"Uweeeh! Kohaku, help!"
"Hey!" Kohaku raised a knife. "Let Suika go, kid!"
"Stand down, Kohaku." (End song.)
A calm, cool voice broke the tension. A young man stepped out of the bushes. He had a light-brown labcoat and hair that looked like a leek, a charming smile under his confident red eyes. "Senku, these people look like outsiders." Kohaku said. "I'm worried that they'll…"
"I don't think we have to worry about this bunch ratting us out. If you snuck a lollipop onto Historia, perhaps you're up to something illegal."
"So, you're Senku." Augustus smirked, twirling said lolli. "Before you go accusing me, what's this I heard about a Science Kingdom?"
"Tell your protégé to let my detective go and I'll tell you."
August nodded at Tama. The clone released Suika and poofed. "S-Sorry, Senku." Suika bowed sadly. "Suika accidentally said 'science.'"
"Don't fret over it, Suika. I think you've found us some curious-looking visitors."
"Ha ha! That's Senku!" Suika said to Tama. "Senku is so cool!"
"August'n is cooler!" Tama argued.
"Whuh? Suika doesn't understand."
"O-Tama said August'n is cooler!" She stomped.
"Suika doesn't know Tama's language. Can you speak slower?"
"August'n… is… COOLER!!" Tama fumed and stomped the ground furiously.
"O-Tama, she understood your name just now." Yuzu said. "She's just messin' with ya."
"Huh?" Tama gaped at Suika. "Grrrrrr!" She tried to whack Suika's melon, but Suika shrank into the melon and ducked, causing Tama to spin around and fall. Suika rolled away in delight.
"That pumpjack I saw back there." Augustus said. "That was your doing, wasn't it? Did you sneak materials onto Historia?"
"Heh, that's what amateurs do." Senku smirked. "No, I just started from scratch."
"Scratch?" repeated Yuzu.
"You still haven't told us what you're doing here." Kohaku said, keeping Nel clutched.
"Save me, Aughsucks!"
"Listen, we're part of this event called the Gourmet Hunt." August explained. "We came here because-"
"The Emerald Green Spring, right?"
"Thou knowest of it?" Tama asked.
"You guys aren't the only Gourmet Hunters to come through here. My friends called and reported another pair exploring the area where the spring is. I'm ten billion percent sure they have their eyes on it."
"Hmm…I wonder if it's Gourmet Corp.…" Augustus thought aloud. "…Your friend here is pretty strong. Any chance she could help us?"
Kohaku marched beside Senku and assumed a firm stance. "Sorry, but I'm a little busy."
"She's already with me. Sorry, friend~" Senku said.
Nel looked between Kohaku and Senku. The child could feel an unseen force interlinking them and an aura of loyalty radiating from the warrior. "Ahh…she already have mate." Nel smiled with sweet relief. "Yes… only Nel ripe for Aughsucks."
"Senku, what's a Gourmet Hunt?" Suika asked.
"It's something they do for the Cooking Fest. That's a special event they're holding in the outside world. It's a huge festival where billions of people come and eat ten billion different kinds of food."
"Ten billion foods? How many villages could we feed with that, Senku?"
"Ten billion, right?" Kohaku asked.
"That's correct~"
"Suika wants to goooo!" The child's mouth and eyes were watering.
"That does sound amazing…" Kohaku said with a smile.
"And you guys are hunting for the festival, are you?" Senku asked the crew.
"Well, kind of. There is another reason." August replied.
"Well, listen: Kohaku and I will lead you to the Emerald Spring."
"We will?!" exclaimed the warrior.
"But in return, I want you to sneak my friends off the planet."
"Oh, so you blackmailin' us?!" Yuzunite shouted. "Well, I oughta-"
"Settle down, Yuz. It's a deal." August smiled. "But I think we're gonna need a few details."
"Fair enough. Let's go talk by the Science Kingdom. Care to lead us, Suika?"
"Suika is happy to help new friends!" She curled up in her melon and rolled forth. "Suika is usefuuuuuul!"
…
…
deleted scene
Shulk clashed his Monado with the sword of a Mechon. As they exchanged blows, the Mechon swung its leg into Shulk's pelvis. "Ahh! My Xenoblade!" He fell over.
"Oh, NOW it's Reyn time!" Reyn declared, flexing his muscles.