Gabriella,
My throat is tightening, I feel as if can't breathe. I'm suffocating; the walls are all closing in on me. I'm holding my chest desperately trying to catch my breath. Feeling like I've just ran a marathon. I want to vomit all over my wedding dress. It is just minutes away from having to leave my private room and enter the church. I'm not ready, I'm doing my best to put myself together.
My knuckles are white from clenching the armrest of my chair. If I let go, I'll collapse on the floor. Suddenly, I hear a knock on my door. My eyes shoot at the door.
"Mija? Are you ready?" My father's voice sounded soft and calm.
I take several deep breaths. Hopelessly trying to respond but my voice has vanished. Why can't I speak? I wonder as I clutch my neck. I'm past the point of crying, I feel like I will just pass out any minute.
"It's time. You should come out now." This time his voice sounds a little more panicked. He probably assumes I've run off. I wish I could; I wish I could just rip this dress right off me. Jump out that window and never look back. Where could I escape to? I have no one; I have nothing.
I lower my head, feeling pathetic, I walk towards the door. I'm shaking and extremely sweaty; honestly my appearance is the least of my concerns right now.
"Good, you're ready. You look beautiful but we don't want to keep the groom waiting." He warns, eyeing me up and down with his brown eyes. I step out of the room a little wobbly. My father reached out to catch me before I could fall. Holding on to his tan arm, I squeezed as hard as I possibly could to try and calm myself.
Right before us is a huge white curtain leading to the inside of the Church where the ceremony will be held. We pause before stepping in, my father pushes his brown hair back. I can already hear the soft piano playing waiting for me to enter alongside soft whispers, I can't make out what they are saying and I don't care enough to try.
He reaches for the curtain as I hold my breath. Stepping inside I get a glimpse of the groom. I haven't had the chance to meet him until now. I'm assuming because my father's plans for this would probably be ruined if we had a chance to speak to one another.
The groom is extremely tall. Taller than my father which is a little frightening. His shoulders and back are big. I can tell he is strong just by that. The last thing I notice is his black hair before he turns around. Immediately, my eyes fall to the ground. I'm too frightened to look him in the eyes.
Focusing all my attention on my feet, making sure I don't trip and fall. Stepping one foot in front of the other. My father is practically pulling me down the aisle. I most likely wouldn't be moving if it wasn't for him. Finally, we reach the front of the church where I stand next to this stranger I'm about to marry. It's all happening so fast. I'm terrified of even looking in his direction.
I can hear a faint ringing in my ear; It's distracting. I can't quite hear the priest. This all feels like a blurred daze. I'm not even sure if I said "I do" or not. My mind is on autopilot. I'm experiencing this as if I'm on the couch watching a suspenseful movie. I just see his hands consuming mine and a ring on my finger. Am I going to pass out now?
Nickolai,
A month before,
"Javier would like a meeting with you Nikolai." My boss, Abram placed his hand over my shoulder to stop me and stated as I was leaving today's family meeting. Walking back towards his desk he continues,"I want you to meet with him as soon as possible so Lucy already set it all up, you just have to show up" He stops in his tracks and turns to face me, "Keep in mind they suspect us of being part of that shoot out last week. I don't want any unnecessary problems so behave yourself." He runs his fingers through his blonde hair.
"Of course, sir." I falsely agree. Honestly, If the Mexicans believe we had anything to do with what went down last week in their territory and try anything I have no intention of holding back. I do however doubt Javier, head of the Reyes family, would try anything himself, unless he intends to observe my behavior.
"And act accordingly, the Reyes family has always been good associates never causing any problems for us." He is staring daggers at me with his piercing dead hazel eyes. It's as if he could read my mind.
"Sir? Are you sure Nikolai must go see Javier? I'm sure he will fuck it up seeing how he has no brain behind his muscles." Alexi mocks trying to get under my skin, such a kiss ass. He is always sticking his nose in my business. "Maybe I should go with him." He adds, looking over to me his curved lips in a smile.
"I don't care, just go. Just make sure you both keep each other in line " Abram leaves with a shrug as if he doesn't care whether Alexi joins or not. I look over at Alexi with annoyance only to find his huge smile of satisfaction.
"Next time, mind your own business. I don't need you to babysit me." I growl, looking down at him.
"Awe, come on, Nikolai be happy. now you'll have backup if anything goes wrong." He laughs feeling as if he has the upper hand because the boss sided with him. How in the world would this guy think that I would even need him if anything went wrong? He is more of a pretty boy type; 5`10 with a lean body. I raise my eyebrow at him in doubt and walk out of the room.
On my way out Lucy, Abram's secretary approaches me with a note in her hand. "Here are all the details concerning your arrangement with Mr. Reyes." She says trying not to make any eye contact with me. I'm 6'2 with more of a built body, falling more on the rugged side which tends to intimidate people: especially women.
"Lucy Hun, I'm going to need that information since I will also be attending that meeting." Alexi softly tells her with a playful smile. "Right, I'll get that for you right away." she responded while making googly eyes at him then she hurried off to her desk to make another note. I rushed off towards the front door before Alexi had the chance to keep bothering me anymore. "I'll call you, Nikolai." Alexi shouts from behind me. I tilt my head back and catch him winking his bright blue eyes. I flip him off before I exit Abram's mansion.
Stepping into the back seat of my car; I told my driver to take me home.