Nikolai,
"That's it? That's what you're wearing?" Alexei peers at me while wearing a ridiculous green tux. With that on he has no room to criticize what I'm wearing.
"It's traditional," I snapped back. As I throw on my tuxedo's jacket.
"No, It's boring. You should try something different. Pretend you're fun for one night." He slightly pushes my back causing me to lose my balance for a second.
I regained my balance, "it's a wedding not some party." I sigh and roll my eyes at him through the mirror.
"You`re welcome by the way. If it wasn't for my help, you wouldn't have this opportunity." He boasted feeling proud of himself. I can see him grinning at his reflection as he smooths out his tux.
"Don't remind me" I growl as I fix my bowtie.
"I know you're excited about this. That's why you invited me to join you today."
"I didn't invite you. You invited yourself." I retorted. Although he isn't far off. I have been letting Alexei tag along lately. Having him around feels a little more normal. Plus, Alexei`s annoyance is... distracting. Since this proposal that's what I've been needing; a distraction.
I start to head back to the changing rooms to retrieve my suit. "Have you met her yet?" Alexei shouts towards me from the other side of the curtain.
"No, and I don't really plan on it so don't ask."
"Oh, you want to keep yourself pure for the big day I see." Alexei mocks.
Everything is a fucking joke to that guy. Changing back into the clothes I walked in with, I started to think about the situation I'm in. I know I can't meet her until the wedding. Any moment sooner and I'll run the other way. I never wanted to get married, especially after seeing what it did to my father. How it changed him. I still remember it now. Clear as day, when I had just turned 13.
I was running home from school. It was Friday night, which meant my mother was making her famous meatballs for dinner. She was Italian, a side I no longer claim anymore. I come home panting and sweating. Expecting to be hit by the aromas of her amazing cooking.
The kitchen was empty. I go around the house searching for her; only to find my father crying in their bedroom. A note in one hand and his face buried in the other. Confused, I reach out for the note. My father pulls it back and rips it apart. Dumping it in the trash, He holds me. I don't know how long he holds me for, but I let him cry it out.
Later that night I fish it out of the trash. Putting the pieces together I read "I never wanted this" That's all she wrote, that's all she left us. Breaking my father and I forever. I swore to myself that I would never give anyone the chance to hurt me like that again.
Nikolai,
Focusing my eyes at the front of the church. I`m feeling way too uncomfortable to look around the room let alone move a muscle. It sounds as if the bride is running a little late from the soft whispers behind me. Gossips of her running off and leaving me at the altar are also being mentioned. Honestly, I hope she has decided to bolt. Saves me the trouble of this whole mess I can't seem to escape.
I get this feeling to turn around. She walks in as soon as I do. We don't make eye contact; she seems to be looking at the floor. That's the first thing I notice, her big brown eyes. I want her to look at me with them; to notice me. My whole demeanor seems to have changed just by her presence.
I'm trying to push these unfamiliar thoughts out of my head. I don't even know this person standing next to me and I'm already falling for them? That's impossible. It's just the pressure of it all, I try to convince myself.
She's standing next to me, I can sense her body shaking. Her stance is a little wobbly. I'm afraid she might fall so I brace myself to catch her just in case she does. The next thing I notice about her is her scent, she smells like lavender. It adds a calming effect to this whole thing.
I realize I'm not even paying attention when the priests repeated himself "Do you Nikolai Balakin take thee Gabrella Reyes to be your wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worst, for richer for poor, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do you part?"
"I do" I say hoping no one noticed my hesitation but knowing they most likely did. I'm holding her small dainty hands trying to put on her ring. They feel hot, I'm starting to get concerned for her health. She looks like she's going to faint. Did she eat enough today? I catch a glimpse of her father smiling from the stands. Could he perhaps drugged her so she would go through with this?
I shake off the protective feeling, he would never hurt his daughter, right? Her hands still in mine, I wonder if she notices my hands shaking. The priest now asks her the same question when she faintly answers, "I do." No hesitation, she doesn't even move a muscle. We can barely manage to hear it but I guess it's good enough when the priest motions for her to put a ring on my finger. I secretly help her when I notice she's having a little trouble.
"You may now kiss the bride!" The priest yells as she raises both hands in the air. The whole crowd starts applauding.
Fuck, what do I do? She looks so out of it; I'm afraid of crossing a line. I wouldn't want her to feel uncomfortable around me. Everyone's watching. I hope she doesn't get upset when I go in to kiss her forehead. It feels hotter than her hands. Everyone is screaming and applauding but all I could focus on is how she is feeling. I'm holding her by her elbow. she seems to be having trouble walking as we head out. I swoop her off her feet since she seems to be in a fragile state right now. She's very light so carrying her to the car is easy. Before we step in; I lean in close to her ear and I ask "are you okay? Do you feel alright?" There's no response.
I'm shocked to find her passed out in my arms. I gently place her in the back of the car and tell my driver to take us to my home. I don't feel comfortable taking her to the reception like this. That's also something I don't feel like attending so this is a good excuse to skip it.