Dying in a gas station bathroom with his pants around his ankles was certainly not the way Sam wanted to go!
Sam wasn't sexually assaulted or murdered…. the bathroom floor just so happened to be particularly slippery with a bunch of stranger's pee, and as Sam got up from the toilet he slipped on some of it and ended up cracking his skull on the sink. Next thing he knows he's in purgatory waiting for God to judge whether he goes up or down…. but much to his dismay 'God' who happened to take the form of a hot goth chick told him to go crawl in a corner and be quiet. That poor excuse of a goddess was currently 'busy' playing Fortnite on the PlayStation 5, screaming all sorts of profanities into her headset whenever she was killed, completely ignoring Sam's presence in favor of playing that stupid game…. about 200 or so matches later and the goddess was still going strong without showing any signs of tiring.
Sam having a thing called common sense did the smart thing and obeyed, opting to stand there in complete silence knowing better than to speak up and potentially risk angering the gaming goddess. If he didn't want to risk having his soul ripped to shreds and thrown into the pits of hell to suffer for the rest of eternity, he would wait however long it took for the goddess to finish….
"….you pass." The goddess spoke out suddenly.
With a snap of her fingers Sam was teleported on the chair next to her.
"Huh, I passed what?" Sam asked in bewilderment, having no clue at what vaguely hidden test he supposedly passed.
The goddess clicked her tongue in annoyance as her character was killed, throwing the controller across the room in a fit of rage.
"The thousands of souls that came here before you were some real pieces of work I tell you! Interrupting my gaming session to ask stupid questions about the meaning of life, begging pitifully to be revived, and some perverted creeps tried to put the moves on me…. but what really grinds my gears were those filthy weeaboos! Those disillusion pissants had the audacity to demand I grant them a system and other outlandish wishes…but I'm no goddam genie!!"
The goddess seethed in anger.
"So instead of granting them their stupid wishes I sent them to their respective afterlives…. or if they pissed me off enough, reincarnated them as bugs and other kinds of vermin... you on the other hand followed my orders obediently without a single complaint instead of acting like those self-intitled brats." The goddess heaved a sigh of relief. "So as a reward you can either go up to boring old heaven…. or you reincarnate into another world…. though if the second option is chosen then don't expect it to be a cakewalk. The world I plan to send you to is many times more dangerous than your previous world…I'm talking end of the world type of crap" She warned in bland tone while filing her nails "so, what will it be?" Gesturing for Sam to hurry up.
Not a second later Sam answered.
"REINCARNATION!" Sam yelled out, before cringing in embarrassment. "I'm so sorry for that loud outburst! I'm just so excited to be granted such a wonderful opportunity…" Sam got down on his knees to apologize, only for the goddess to wave it off.
"Yah yah whatever, there's no backing out of it now so try not regret it later." The goddess smirked, earning a slight shiver of unease from Sam. "So, here's how it's going to work. I'm going to reincarnate you into the 'Worm' Universe!" The goddess said with a cheery grin, loving the disturbed look that appeared on Sam's face, "and no, it's not a world about giant worm creatures that go around eating people. Worm is just the title, it being a semi-popular web novel from your old world. To simply sum it up it's an alternate version of Earth where traumatized people gain superpowers and monstrous beings are systematically destroying the world, that's all the info you get. I absolutely hate spoilers." The goddess smirked mischievously, causing Sam's eyebrow to twitch. "Don't worry, I won't send you there completely defenseless." The goddess patted his's shoulders reassuringly. "In fact, as I am such a generous goddess, I decided to give you two gifts," The goddess said holding up two fingers, "the first one being a single wish."
But before Sam could jump up for joy and start celebrating the goddess interrupted.
"However, there are going to be some ground rules." The goddess stated firmly.
Sam's shoulders sagged in disappointment.
"First rule, do not ask for any of the following abilities: Instant regeneration, immortality, mind control, bullshit eye-powers, a system, space/time manipulation, gravity manipulation, Longinus Sacred Gears, Logia and Mythical Zoan classified devil fruits, and for the love of god please don't ask to become a Saiyan or any other sort of alien species." The goddess shook her head in exasperation, "There are millions of different abilities out there to choose from…. but everyone keeps going for the same broken shit every goddamn time! It's hella boring" the goddess complained. "Anyways, the second rule is no wishing for unlimited amounts of anything, be it magical power or money, limitations must be set!" The goddess paused to take a sip of coke, "Lastly, keep it short and simple!" The goddess spoke this in irritation, "Do not take my generosity for granted by using loopholes to stretch out one wish into multiple! You won't like the consequences…."
Sam chewed on his lip, thinking about it for a minute.
"I wish for the power of Haki from One Piece." Sam declared, turning to the goddess with stars in his eyes.
"…. Typical." The goddess rolled her eyes, "Fine, take your stupid generic Haki!"
Snapping her fingers, a giant wheel appeared and started spinning.
"This wheel is going to determine your second gift, a new body." The goddess spoke with a grin, making Sam perk up. "Written on it is the names of people with superpowers, spanning from all of the anime series you have ever watched, and whoever's name it lands on will be your avatar, meaning you will inherit their body, abilities, and memories as well." The goddess explained, Sam's eyes widened in shock, "However, if you don't feel comfortable doing this and want to keep your original body, I totally understand…." The goddess consoled, motioning to the wheel. "You have until it stops spinning to back out, but if you take too long and it lands on someone then too bad, you're stuck with them."
"It would be rude to decline such a wonderful gift." Sam spoke with a grin." Besides, what could be worse than this train reck." Sam said jokingly, jabbing a thumb at himself.
The goddess glanced him over and nodded in agreement.
"Fat, bald, and a face not even a mother could love…. anything would be an upgrade."
As Sam was about to retort the wheel came to a stop.
'[RWBY] – Raven Branwen'
Sam turned nervously to the goddess.
"RWBY is not an-"
"Don't be a sore loser…. Raven." The goddess giggled at his misfortune.
Sam buried his face in his palm.
"Does th-"
"The spring maiden's power is not included in the package." Sam groaned in disappointment but didn't question it. "Technically, it is not considered her own power. There's also the fact that once you kick the bucket the maiden powers would automatically seek another host. People would eventually notice it and start killing each other in order to obtain it." The goddess pointed out, "however, as a consolation prize I'll grant you Silvers Rayleigh's knowledge on Haki," The goddess offered, which Sam readily accepted.
"Deal!" Sam declared excitedly.
The goddess created a portal behind him.
"Oh, and a little heads up" The goddess said rubbing her head sheepishly. "I'm terrible at forging documents so you'll have to gain citizenship the old-fashioned way."
Sam stared at the goddess in puzzlement.
"What does that even m- "
The goddess cut him off by kicked him through the portal.
Brocton Bay – Maternity Ward
"It's a girl" The doctor declared loudly.
"WAAAAAHHHHH!"
Sam screamed his lungs out in agony, Raven's memories crashing into his brain like a tsunami.
After being cleaned and wrapped in a blanket the doctor attempted to pass the screaming infant to the mother only to be denied. "I don't want it!" The woman snapped irritably at the doctor, "The only reason I had it in the first place is because my parents are religious nutcases who refused to let me get an abortion," The woman huffed in anger, "I want to go to college and make something of myself, a child would get in the way of that!" The woman complained, clearly seeing the child as an inconvenience.
The doctor shuffled the crying baby in his arms awkwardly.
"…How abou-"
"My parents can't afford to take her in either, my dad just got laid off at the docks and my mother is a lowly housewife…. send her to the orphanage."
The nurse decided to chime in.
"….is the fathe-"
"No! That deadbeat is not in the picture! That fucker ran for the hills the moment I told him about the pregnancy…. send her to the orphanage." the woman gritted out.
The doctor nodded reluctantly.
"….would you like to name her at the very least?"
The woman's eyes temporarily glazed over.
"Raven Branwen."