Penelope Castro narrating:

Who killed Samantha Bovier?

That's what the papers printed that morning, it had only been a week since I had left the clinic and this news bomb was dropped on me, my heart was heavier. Samantha was my best friend, well... A pretty big ''was'', or maybe she never was.

Even so, to be shot dead while leaving a coffee shop is a very sad death, despite everything, I still wanted her to be happy.

We met on the recording sets, I was the shy girl with the tongue tied, and as much as Cassandra author of the book and co-producer and screenwriter of the films insisted that I was perfect for the role, I felt out of place until an incredibly tall and beautiful girl took my hand and helped me memorize the lines.

Together with her, Ian, Sebastian and Esme we starred in one of Hollywood's most profitable movies, the ''Lullaby Saga.'' The first movie, The Goblin Who Escaped from the Shadow Realm, changed our lives forever, one of the biggest box office hits.

The sequels made me who I am today, particularly I have always loved the affection of the fans, I never wanted to be an actress, it was always my mother's dream. But I ended up loving acting.

She was a chambermaid and was illegal in the United States when she found out about the audition to be the Fairy Princess. I remember that day as if it were today, with more than three hundred children, I had torn shoes, was ten years old, could barely read, and didn't go to school because of my mother's situation.

Everything I learned, I learned from my grandmother, who, between you and me, tried very hard, but could never speak English. I read about the books, and even though I was tired of going to so many tests I loved the Lullaby saga, so allowing myself to go for one more.

I think my favorite books are the second and third, The Lullaby saga: The legend of the Blue Castle, The Lullaby saga: Eternity is not as you imagine.

— Hello, dear, how are you, honey bun?

My mother said pulling me out of my thoughts, I spread my short legs over the huge mattress, sitting up I held the notebook over my legs, it had been a long time since I had felt this taste of helplessness coming down my throat and suffocating me little by little.

— Still in shock, when Ian called me yesterday I thought it was a lie. — I lowered my eyes to the picture of Samantha right in front of my notebook. — I am trembling until now, she died and I couldn't even forgive her...

— Oh, my love!

My mother exclaimed walking over, sitting down beside me on the bed, making the table sag, and hugging me. I couldn't hold back the tears, my best friend was dead, and after all that had happened, the way we had parted, I would never see her again.

— Sabrina called, she is buried today! Her parents want you there.

— No, no! — I pulled out of the hug, shaking my head in denial, my heart pounding at the thought of seeing him again. — I can't go, I can't see Sebastian.

— Penelope, it's about time and then with all this going on I don't think anyone will care. — My mother ran her thumb over my cheek, wiping the tears away. — I'm just saying You don't have to go, but, you know, I think she would want you there.

I lowered my head, my cell phone vibrated before playing the song "Toxic by Britney Spears" an unknown number, I answered it with trembling hands passing the green button on the flat screen of the cell phone, putting it to my ear, a familiar voice called out.

— Hi, did you get it too?

— Esme?

I pointed to my mother and her cell phone, my mother threw herself on the white sheets rolling her eyes, we were not many friends, in fact Esme was the biggest cow I have ever met, with all due respect to cows.

— Hi, how long have I...

— This is a tragedy. — Her voice was so high, and weird and forced, as if she was forcing a sadness. — If I had to guess which of the five of us would die first, I would say you! I can't believe she's dead.

— Yes, I know. It hasn't fully sunk in yet, it feels like a bad dream. — I took a deep breath, feeling my heart racing.

— I called to see if you're going to Lope's funeral!— she exclaimed. — You are, aren't you?

— Esme, I don't know. — My mouth curled sideways, I rolled off the bed and stared into the sun, my face immediately frowning at the mansion gardens.

— No, you have to go. Don't be like Cassandra, come out of the closet once in a while, no one will judge you, we need to be together right now.

She hung up, that was Esme always had to have the last word. I sighed, after so many years all this came as an avalanche, it would be strange to see all of them and talk to them, it was years of companionship, then we grew up.

And I don't know how growing up hurts. Growing up is a painful process, even more so when you grow up with the spotlight on you, part of me still loved being an actress, so much so that I never stopped.

And just when I was thinking of stopping, I don't know, maybe isolate myself as Cassandra always did, live in a small village in Tuscany, where there are no movies. That would rid me of the constant panic attacks, and the fear of going back to rehab.

I scratched my hair, raising my head, leaning on the balcony I realized that I had to be adult and act in the right way I had to say goodbye to who, despite everything was one of my best friends.