Chereads / Seishin No Koe / Chapter 15 - Love educates

Chapter 15 - Love educates

A woman strives in a delivery room to bring down the architectural heights of the mother matrix: that of procreation. She knows that this is her second child and that it is the culmination of many efforts, but above all, it is the last she will receive; she would like to curse herself, for having made these choices, for having believed in love in this way, for having been the victim of her own passions, but she wants to believe that this time will be eternal, and when it will be nothing more than a memory that the days will be beautiful moments; she thought while she prays her redemption to her Lord.

Soon, she could only recover from the miracle of the birth, when she recovers from her effort, and she only waits for her child to be placed in her arms. But she receives nothing, she barely feels the nurses caring for her, she partially perceives the midwife holding the child and chatting with other hospital staff. She sees the child, as she cries out to hand it over, go into the hands of the man in a certain haste.

She does not listen to the nurses telling her that everything is fine, that she must calm down, but she wants her child and does not want to hear that she is suffering from her curse.

She does not feel, except finally that she is sleeping, the effect of what is injected into her.

She wakes up in a bedroom, the bright sunlight in the room blinding her before she can land.

But it only took the moment that she learned of the critical condition of the child for her to leave in stress.

Her child, the first, her daughter cuddles her as she cries, especially as she sees the newborn, undergo treatment.

Her second daughter covered, wired with things that make her cry and distress.

"My daughter, my daughter, my daughter!"

But it seems that the heavens have played a bad trick when soon they can meet, it was just bad weather to pass.

"Your daughter is fine, it was nothing to be alarmed about, everything should be fine." Reassured the general pediatrician.

The mother holds her child at home, whom she broods over when her first child approaches, the mother hums to her childhood melodies when she suggests "take her, it's your little sister" she hands her the child that the kid takes with a big smile.

Her eyes sparkle and her smile warms the mother. The child is incredibly enthusiastic, admiring what she deems to be the most splendid she has seen; and her love for this moment surpasses anything she can imagine.

" It's my little sister ?!" She repeats she doesn't know how many times. For each time the mother answered her "yes".

"Yes, it's your little sister!" And you have to take care of her, okay?"

" OK !" exclaimed the little one cheerfully.

"Always be there for her, protect her until the end, no matter what." Although seeming to have all her attention on the newborn, the little one heard well what her mother said to her, and she will never forget these words which will be her quest for life.

" Mom ! Mom ! Mom ! What's her name ?"

Always smiling, caressing the baby too, she made her discover the sweet name

"Hanna! Her name is Hanna!"

All the more so, the light in her eyes intensifies as she whispers, filled with love, "Hanna!"

So she entrusts her hand to little Hanna who grabs it by pure reflex, letting the flow of time flow afterwards.

*

The first moments when we still exist only for the look, the passion of others: feelings and resentments of our fellow men, while waiting to soon become aware of our own entity and the environment which surrounds us is what happened to Hanna when now she is three years old.

Very small, her deep black hair covering her mixed Asian skin, herself restoring large black eyes made her cute from what they said.

She walks at night, soft toy in hand, in the hallway looking for her big sister. She's looking for comfort, she knows, she's been told ghosts and spirits don't exist, she's been making up her mind, but what she feels, is way too heavy for her to just pass on outraged.

She doesn't know how to explain it, but she feels it inside her, this thrill and this presence so she can only look for her big sister.

But when she looks for the room, the spirits are more present and fear and her are united. She can't go any further, so she stops, lies against the wall, hugs her stuffed animal and stays there.

She leaves herself to her fate.

She still hears this morning her father shouting at her mother that she fell asleep again there, that she is still delirious over stories that the latter tells her, that it is time for it to stop. She gets her hair combed by her sister, she hears them screaming from the kitchen. Her gaze is painted with sadness, filled with remorse.

Adama her sister finishes her hair when she smiles at her, gives her her bag, her lunch and invites her to follow her.

They leave the house without saying goodbye, Hanna knows that after that, her mother will be alone, will cry a lot, will refrain from killing herself again, then when they come back from school, she will welcome her with open arms, she won't notice that you can clearly see the dried tears on her face. Hanna and Adama will let themselves be cuddled, and let themselves be prayed over.

Today at school, again, Hanna follows her lessons attentively, she does not speak or is distracted by anything. At the various breaks and at recess, she goes in the greatest discretion to the roof where she eats alone before being joined by Adama and his friend who are chatting with her. They talk about random stories that Hanna doesn't always understand, but in her routine, that's where she feels most adventurous, when she sees these two talking about the future.

So she also thinks of her who wants like her father to become a surgeon, she not only wants to look like him by mimicry, but she also wants to inspire people what she feels at this moment. So that pushes her to give everything in her studies.

But her reality is that today her mother also takes her in secret and directs her to a new marabout who will attempt yet another explanation of the possession to which she is subject, to hear that the enemies are there, let them go into hiding, these envious people, these vindictive ones; Hanna hears once again that she is a prodigy and that is why she is a victim of the evil eye, of the wack of which she is a victim.

She receives yet another prayer, yet another drink flavored with Koranic words. On the way, she receives warnings from her mother, not to approach such people, not to take food from strangers, and even from certain relatives. Not to listen to her father who does not understand all the genius she harbors.

But Hanna is mostly jaded, she'll do what she's told, but really, that's enough for her.

The first times were a year ago: she first fell seriously ill, then, it was there, listening to her mother's words, that she began to feel the spirits, to fight them.

But her father said her mother was crazy to believe in these things, that it was only in her head.

It was only then that the parents' relationship went from strained to chaotic.

But so young, growing up, it was neither a good or a bad omen, nothing more than a condition, a condition in which when well looking in her mother for what she could not identify herself and in her father of interest and merit, she got used to it; this is undoubtedly the human adaptive capacity.

But to do it for what cause ?

When, for example, this trauma when she was 10 years old, when she joined her father in his office, and told him while he was tinkering with his instruments, that she was now trying to condition herself for surgery, if he had any advice to lavish on her, enough to motivate her all the more.

She got lost in the discussion telling how she fantasized about this job, and imagining herself in such a reality but annoyed by the inconvenience she was, he only answered her

"As crazy as your mother, surgery will forever remain a fantasy, you are only good for your hysterical fits."

He left, briefcase in hand, with nothing more, nothing more than the sound of the door closing behind her.

She came close to crying, her gaze testifying so, but her forced smile maintained everything because crying won't make her more capable of anything.

Hanna goes into the kitchen where Adama is cooking, she comes to sit in silence and watches her do it.

"Adama?"

" Yes ?"

"What do you want to do as an adult?"

Adama did not answer right away, she went to get some potatoes which she began to peel.

"I will never be an adult, I will never be taller than your eldest."

Hanna wasn't sure she understood, but she didn't add anything.

" And you ?"

Hanna wasn't sure she knew anymore.

" I do not know !"

"And the surgery, you don't want any more?"

"I don't know" she said, looking away

Adama smiled at her and invited her to join her, Hanna came smiling, joining the only peaceful light in her life.

"Hanna?"

" Yes ?"

"Whatever you decide, it won't be easy, so fight on, okay?"

" OK !" Finally she finds her joy, her eyes shine when she washes the vegetables giving thanks to her sister.

*

Tanaka, Hanna and Adama's father, after leaving his home, now goes to the meeting place where these men are waiting for him.

He parks in the parking lot, takes his briefcase and gets out of the vehicle. In front, two men are waiting for him. He gives his briefcase to one of them who leaves without saying anything when the other follows him.

" Hard day ?"

Tanaka does not answer.

"Okay…" smiled the other.

They arrive at a huge 4×4 in which they both enter.

At the wheel, a giant of musculature, and at his side, a man soberly dressed in a white basin. As soon as they close the door, the driver backs up and drives off.

"Mr. Tanaka" Launches the man but Tanaka does not respond

"Are you sure you won't stay longer? There's no rush you know ?"

"No, nothing keeps me here anymore"

" I see ! How long have you been in Niger?"

"15 years"

"You've had more time than you actually have for the little work you've done."

Tanaka doesn't respond to the provocation, which makes the man smile.

"But you know, I respect you a lot, you have a know-how that few have. You left Japan for such curiosity, marrying a woman to procreate and bequeath the rest to someone like me, it's really unprecedented."

The man takes a cigar which he passes to Tanaka and his friend and holds out his already lit lighter.

"Let us mark our agreement and your departure with these quality cigars. So do you agree with both?"

" Yes. Take the two girls!"

"And the woman?"

"Is the money ready?"

"Since an hour, you can check"

"You won't get anything out of her, but if you want her, take it as a tribute" Tanaka draws on the cigar for a long time and spits out the smoke

" Tell me ? After spending 15 years with her, having slept with her and having two children with her, don't you have any feelings for her?" The man's amused smile is guessed by Tanaka who does not answer him, he seems pensive.

"The eldest, Adama, seems to be the most convincing subject with the little Narcisse, I think you will have the best results with them."

"And your youngest? Hanna, is that it?"

Tanaka smokes again before answering

"It's a complex case, she is still young, but I think her mental imbalance could carry a significant result, everything will depend on you. Here are their records."

Tanaka's friend passes him some documents which he hands to the man. We see on the first page a photo of Adama and a lot of information about her.

The man seems to read briefly before moving on to the other card, Hanna's.

" Very well !" The man simply replies.

Later, the car stops. Tanaka arranges her affairs and is about to leave when the man stops him.

"Mr. Tanaka!" Here are fake passports and fake papers to wish you good luck.

Tanaka opens the door without answering him and closes the door. He's walking down the airport runway towards the private jet when the car window rolls down and he hears the man shouting: "You'll tell the pilot to take you wherever you want. Good luck Mr. Tanaka!"

*

This night again, Hanna has trouble sleeping, the spirits are there, but she gets used to it, she recites the invocations that her mother teaches her, but she has just recovered from sleep paralysis and the spirit tries to drive her back there. She recites again before getting up because she has a really bad feeling. She goes down to the kitchen where she looks for a drink.

She walks past her father's office and sees that he's still coming home late today. She still imagines herself a surgeon for a moment, imagines herself too late to return; but tells herself that it will not happen, ever.

She remains there pensive when the heavy noise of the door bursting freezes with terror. She doesn't remember much after the shock except for the men running up to her, grabbing her and then nothing.

After that, she could only hear Adama shouting her name. She came to, but sees nothing, she can't seem to move. Adama asks her not to force, and when she feels someone touching her, her vision returns. Adama removed the cloth that was blindfolding her. And there, she cuts the rope that seals her hands.

Hanna sits down, confused. Adama gets up and talks to someone, Hanna recognizes Narcisse and Commanzer, Adama's two friends and also... she counts six other children her age or even younger.

She wants to talk, but when she sees Adama, her gaze, and that of Narcisse, she is silent and waits for her big sister to come and explain. She curls up on herself, at the corner of the wall.

Finally, a few moments later, Adama approaches. She has a big backpack and a long knife in her hands, approaching Hanna, her hard gaze softens, she smiles at her.

" How are you, sweetheart ?"

Hanna nods her head. Adama strokes her head

.

"Don't worry, everything is fine, I'm going, right next door, stay with Narcisse and the other children. Don't be afraid, Narcisse is a good boy." She continues to pat her head. "You are scared ?" Hanna doesn't answer. "Take a deep breath, I'm here!"

Adama gets up and goes to join Commanzer. Then her gaze falls on Narcisse. She knows him well, Adama's lifelong friend, she suspects that they are in love. He's tall, and Hanna has always found him to have a soothing voice, she finds him very charming. But there, even if he smiles as always and does not seem worried, he has a heavier aura than usual. His mid-length silver hair almost covers his hazel eyes.

She sees Adama and Commanzer come out of what appears to be a cabin they are in. She saw the smile that Narcisse left to her sister, and reminds her of the romance between the two.

As for the other children, they are scattered everywhere, as disoriented as she is. A little boy cries and asks after his mom. Narcisse comes to console him and ends up calming him down.

He then put the guidelines in place, indicating that there is enough to eat and drink, and that there was nothing to worry about. He then went to sit on a chair. Hanna could see that during the long hours of the night, when he had turned off the lights and everyone was sleeping, he regularly scanned the windows, the door, and often went to the level of what she was not sure to identify as a radio, then he would come back and sit down.

It wasn't until many hours later that Adama and Commanzer returned. Hanna watches from there as her sister is wet to the skin, she looks exhausted and dirty with mud and other dirt.

She hears them whisper

"What did you find?"

"It's what we thought, it's the game" said Adama calmly

Narcisse's gaze molds with annoyance

" We do not have time to lose. Commanzer, when does the game start?"

He looks at his watch

" 15 minutes "

"So let's go!" announces Adama

She runs her hands through her hair, clears her throat, and puts her bag down. She puts the knife back in the holster when Hanna sees guns falling out of the bag. Her heart fills with terror. What is happening ?

Narcisse and Commanzer do like her; except Commanzer who keeps a gun.

"Adama?"

" What's the matter ?"

"How many do you think they will have?"

"We should know how much they want" Narcisse seems more and more disturbed. He puts away his knife and goes to wake up the children with Adama. They then put them in a row and Adama came to stand in front of them, already having Hanna near her, she approached, pretended to wake her up because she knew that Hanna was pretending to be asleep. She asked her to get up and follow her and only gave the same directive to the children.

" Follow me !"