I grabbed one of the cigarettes from the carton and put the stick between my lips. When I pressed it, I suddenly recalled what happened to me a few moments ago.
While I was heading toward the apartment complex, I accidentally bumped into someone and landed on top of a man. Interestingly, I struggled to find my balance to stand as fast as I could before other people could see me in such a weird fashion.
Everything happened so fast that I failed to remember who that person was. How stupid. I scoffed, shaking my head as I lit up the cigarette and sucked the smoke in gently with a long steady intake, and then exhaled slowly.
I raised my head to see the raindrops falling from the dark skies. I extended my arm outside the convenience store, leaning against the wall to reach the waters and feel each drop land on my palm.
The abrupt shift in weather reminded me of something that happened in the past. Something I'd like to forget from a long time ago. However, as soon as the rain began to fall, I was reminded of someone close to my heart.
I remember the nice times we had every time I see rainy days and smell the musky smell from the earth. Those days will go down in history as happy memory that has become sour.
I exhaled a cloud of smoke and sighed as I turned to face the ground, where I noticed water ripples reaching my shoes.
When I turned around, I noticed couples walking into the store, their faces beaming like newlyweds fresh off their honeymoon.
I flashed a short smile before returning my gaze to the ripple while watching the cars passing by and couples walking home making me remember and recall memories that I'd rather forget.
As if my emotions and the weather had fused into one, tears welled up in my eyes, and my eyes then became bloodshot. My gut began to churn as my chest tightened.
As tears streamed down my cheeks, my throat felt constricted. I wiped my tears with my jacket and raised my face to look at the dark sky, embarrassed.
Despite this, the tears continued to fall. I couldn't take it anymore as they crept back down on my face and let out a faint groan.
"Why?" I muttered something to myself, making sure no one heard me.
A blast of wind brushed against my face, wiping away my melancholy with her hand. With the wind now covering my eyes, the strands of my hair swayed. I puffed the cigarette once more, releasing a cloud of smoke, and pulled my lips together to swallow the discomfort in my throat.
"Damn it, Chen, this isn't you. You shouldn't be in this much pain."
As I blew another puff of smoke, I sniffed and wiped my tears with the back of my wrist. I put my cigarette out after realizing it had been consumed and grabbed another stick.
My phone vibrated just as I was about to get one. I took it out of my pocket and saw Jun's name on the screen. I pressed the button to take his call.
"'Sup?"
"Mark is on the lookout for you. Didn't he tell you about the BBQ station meeting tonight?" Jun explained on the other end of the line.
When I realized I had forgotten about tonight's meeting with the rival, I almost jumped back. With my index finger, I moved the cigarette back to the back of my mouth.
"Everyone but you is here. Please hurry."
"Fine, I'm coming."
I clicked the phone's end button and tucked my phone into the pocket of my jacket. I slapped my face several times to make sure it looked okay and wiped my eyes as much as possible to dry them before heading to the neighboring BBQ station to meet everyone.
After a few blocks, I arrived at the meeting spot where I could hear their loud voices and laughter, drinks clinking and utensils making clicking sounds like customers from the outside.
From one table to the next, I carefully proceeded toward the group of people at the end of the station, where I observed each table was crowded with families enjoying a great time.
When I arrived at the guys' table, Jun motioned for me to take a seat, and I did so, only to discover that they had combined three different tables to accommodate the food and drinks they had ordered.
The owner of the BBQ station greeted me as I took moves to approach them. I gave a kind nod to the lady who was busy delivering the orders.
Mark waved his hand at me as I approached and gestured to the empty seat next to Alex, who was scowling at me. I had no choice but to position my guitar near my chair, leaning it against the table's edge.
The student council, their staff, and the two bands were all pleased with the changes to the event's schedule. We were chugging beer like we were competing in a manliness contest. So far, I've made no progress toward the event, I've been kissed by some random moron, and now I'm seated next to another idiot.
"How did you end up here?" Alex stuttered, evidently uneasy that I was in the same room with him.
"Well, I was invited. So, here I am," I replied sarcastically as I went to get a drink.
I took a bottle of beer and poured him a drink out of courtesy and courage to lighten the unpleasant situation we were in.
He was on the verge of recoiling from his seat when he saw me doing the respectful gesture.
I slid the bottle back onto the table next to Henry and turned to face Alex.
I cringed as my gaze fell on his face.
"Can you tell me what you're staring at? Is it true that I have dirt on my face?"
He yanked and grabbed his glass to drink, and he didn't say anything to me.
I rolled my eyes and drank my beer while keeping my eyes and ears open to everyone's conversation.
"Did you come on your own?" Alex stuttered in response, attempting to soothe our mutual unease by asking inane questions.
Like the others here, he was not a fan of small conversation.
To hear the cracking sounds, I swiveled my head around my neck and stared at him from an angle.
The kiss.
While I was trying to remember the guy from earlier, my eyes widened when I traced Alex's figure.
"Of course, Alex. I came alone." I sipped another glass of beer to ease this budding awkward feeling inside me.
"Why?"
To retain my cool in public, I took a deep breath and let out an annoyed groan. I glowered as I leaned toward him.
"Look. I'm not sure what you're contemplating. If there's one thing I know for sure, it's that you have nothing to be concerned about."
"Can you tell me what you're talking about?"
"Justin invited me because he knows how popular our bands are at school. We're also in numerous musical genres. You're the king of rock, and I'm the king of ballads. So, what's the deal with your paranoia?"
I commanded him to hear my whisper with a flick of my index finger. He refused to budge. I cocked my head and cast a glance around the room, hoping no one would notice our tense situation.
"Do you suppose we're working on a secret plan?"
Alex refused to answer.
"Relax."
When I patted his shoulder, he pushed me away with his hand. I rolled my eyes and scowled.
"You may appear innocent, but I'm well aware of who you truly are."
"What?"
"You're this kind of person who looks innocent on the surface but a devil beneath. Right now, I'm looking at that person who only wants to be more famous, rich, and powerful surrounded by women, mostly old women, who are preying for parasites like you."
This time, I refused to answer and scoffed at his petty and unworthy accusations instead. While I grabbed the bottle of beer and poured an ample amount into my glass to drink, Alex murmured something, which I didn't care about.
Right now, I'm looking at that person who only wants to be more famous, rich, and powerful surrounded by women, mostly old women, who are preying for parasites like you.
When he said this particular line, it got my attention, and was jaw-dropped by his remark. I scoffed before I uttered a word while organizing my thoughts about how I could respond to him without being the bad guy.
"Look, I admit that I've known you for a long time and we've had quite the rivalry at school. But that's for music. That's business. Yet, I failed to notice that you've taken this shit personally."
"Think whatever you want to think—"
Before he could go on, I interjected him.
"Stop. Don't wait until I get annoyed, Alex. If you do, you'll regret what I'm going to do with you."
"What are you going to do with me?" he lifted his chin as if he wanted to show dominance over me. I laughed watching him trying hard to play a bad guy.
"Maybe, I'd love the thought of fucking you, Alex." I grinned as I turned my head and sipped my beer.
"Is that funny to you?"
I giggled. "Look. Maybe you have forgotten that you started this war. Now that the fans have been fighting against each other, I find it utterly disgusting that you are pointing your finger at me. You were the one responsible for all of this."
The Prefect of the Discipline Office has always received reports of violence between our fans.
Is he crazy?
I hadn't realized that we never had this conversation over the years even though we've got the record for the most violent music duels at school.
Mark caught our attention before Alex could react.
"Hey, what's up with you two being so quiet?"
We moved our heads in the same direction as he did, but we didn't say anything.
Then, he cleared his throat, feeling self-conscious. "Anyway, we asked you guys for obvious reasons, and I'm sure you know what we're going to discuss tonight."
Alex cocked his head. "What obvious reasons?"
Henry gasped and covered his face with his hands, stunned. He offered him a peace sign and said, "Oh, I forgot to tell you, sorry."
Alex was distraught and perplexed after the announcement.
Wasn't he informed about the project by his bandmates?
"Mark, what's this all about?"
I put my hand on Alex's shoulder.
He gazed at me with a flinch.
"Would you like to make a guess?" I teased him by squeezing my fingers into his shoulders so hard that he groaned softly from the pain.
He snarled as he shoved my hand away.
"Thank you, but no. I don't have to waste my time with that nonsense." He swiveled his head and shrugged his shoulders to relieve stress.
"By the way, I'd want to compliment you on your performance—"
"Did you just say something about our performance?" Alex wasn't as ecstatic as everyone fell silent, and the clinking glass came to a halt as if time itself had frozen.
Mark, like everyone else, including his bandmates, shrugged.
"Sorry, Alex," Henry murmured, "I forgot to inform you."
"Can you tell me what's going on? I was planning on writing a new song for our performance." Alex stared at Mark, who appeared to be quite serious about the statement. "Wasn't it?"
Without hesitation, Mark nodded.
"So, you mean, we're going to perform with these strange people?" Alex mumbled as he continued. My band members were a little offended when he pointed his fingers at them.
While the other members of the student council attempted to calm them down, Mark smiled. "That's correct."
"Why? Are you aware of how harmful this may be?" Alex uttered with concern.
"Think about it. For the last few years, you've been involved in violent conflicts at university, and your supporters have caused so much havoc among themselves. Don't you think it'd be wonderful to have a healthy competition with only the two of you in the end?"
Alex sat in his chair, his face flushed and his fists tightened, and he leaned against it, looking away, pressing his lips.
Mark continued, just as he was ready to pull himself up and let out a loud sigh.
"To be honest with you, I spoke with the university administration about this. They are hopeful that we will be able to put a stop to it and create a peaceful and beneficial duel. We can do that, right?"
Alex took a long breath and smiled a frustrated smile, as he understood the predicament.
"Fine. Is there anything else I could do?" His brows wrinkled as he peered down at me, indicating his displeasure with the proposal. "Nothing," he said when our gazes met.
While Alex was looking at me, Mark said to invite Alex to explain if he would do it or not. "So?"
"What else could I do now but to say yes," Alex said, prompting everyone to cheer and clap their hands while they were clinking their cola and beer bottles.
"Finally, the time has arrived to put an end to the school violence. At the very least, we won't have to worry about everyone getting hurt by then," one of the student council members cried.
In that short moment, I noticed Alex's reaction which made me feel a bit bad for this bastard.
My eyes stayed on him, watching as he chugged another glass of beer and sighed softly as I sipped another glass of beer. If only someone was carefully observing him like I am doing right now, it would be obvious from the way he was sitting that the choice wasn't good for him.
Even though we've been loathing one other for a while, it was the first time I felt like time stood still and I was alone with him. Sincerely, I believed he was the one I was looking for and the only one who could fully comprehend me.
Just then, something else bothered me.
Who did I bump into before I arrived here?
Jun took a step forward to offer a toast.
"On behalf of the DBXQ members, I would like to make peace with The Painkillers and continue to compete peacefully and healthily. Besides, this is for the sake of everyone's safety and our fans."
The other members of The Painkillers, including Henry, were doing the same.
They yelled, "Cheers!" With their noisy laughter and loud conversations, the entire BBQ restaurant grew even noisier.
Jun swiftly laid his hand on my shoulder.
"Why are you frowning today, Chen? What the hell is going on?" Despite my refusal to respond, he continued, "Let me make an educated guess," he hummed while his fingers tapping the sides of his cheek, "Did you make your new girl cry after a one-night stand?" Instead of responding to such a personal question, I sipped my beer unconcerned. "Did you utter that well-known phrase today?"
"Can you tell me what his famous line is?" Robert, the inquiring guitarist of my band, jumped into the conversation.
"I know you love me, but I'm afraid this won't work out," Jun mimicked, "I like you, but I don't think we're compatible."
"Really?" Robert's eyes widened as he stared at me, speechless at what he'd just heard. "Wow, Chen."
"Well, it's not surprising at all. With his face and his talent, it wouldn't be impossible for Chen to make every woman fall over heels," Mark exclaimed, causing the rest of the members, as well as others who have heard it, to laugh and shake their heads in amazement.
"It's not about a girl," I clarified.
"Who, then, is to blame for your awful day?"
"Well, something strange happened to me today." I looked down at Alex, who was frowning over the situation.
"Oh, please, tell us," everyone exclaimed in chorus.
While Alex remained uninterested, I reasoned that saying it would make things a lot more intriguing. But I suppose there's no harm in acknowledging it.
"Come on, Chen," they said in unison. "Don't be a downer, man."
When I realized how humorous that would be, my face reddened. "Well," I said after finishing the last drop of my beer and clearing my throat. Everyone felt hushed and prepared to listen to me. "Something interesting happened to me before I arrived here."
"Can you tell me what happened to you?" Jun inquired.
"I ran into this guy and landed on the ground and…" I paused and cast a glance at Alex.
"And?" they all inquired, pushing forward in my direction and gesturing for me to continue the story.
I continued as I let go of Alex's concentrated, troubled expression on his face as he raised his bottle to drink.
"And then… we accidentally kissed."
Alex sprayed his beer and coughed as he slowly turned his head toward me, his eyes widening in surprise. As our gazes locked, I grinned and averted my gaze.
Alex, why does it have to be you out of all the people?
It's fascinating to observe how people alter when they try to reject the reality of the situation. It was allegedly about the man I kissed hours before I arrived at this location in this case.
If someone is hiding something from you, that person will show clear indications that only those who are skilled at flirting around will know and understand.
First, he acts as though he is guilty.
Second, he keeps his responses to a minimum.
Third, he takes a defensive stance.
Fourth, to hide them, he asks random or unconnected queries.
Fifth, he is unsettled.
My instincts are telling me it was Alex.
When I checked him from head to toe while he drank many glasses of that drink, it was evident. The man was dressed in the same obnoxious jacket. To get a better look at him, I slid my handkerchief behind his chair.
Then I lifted it to give me a nice opportunity to bend closer to his back and smell his nape. That odor. He smelled the same as that guy. I couldn't stop grinning.
"Are you doing okay, dude?" Henry inquired, tapping and shaking Alex's shoulder to relieve his agony. He handed a box of tissue paper to Alex.
"Yeah… oh, thanks," Alex mumbled while wiping the spilled drinks on the table and his pants with tissue paper.
Over the years, hanging out and hooking up with girls presented obstacles I could never have imagined. So, in the flash of an eye, I could decipher the message behind every motion, every step, and every gesture they make.
Given that he's a man, it was no surprise that I could comprehend him at this point. I could read Alex plainly no matter how many times he denied it. The water is crystal clear.
Alex pursed his lips and feigned a chuckle at the time, fooling everyone into thinking he was fine. It was novel to scan a man like him as if he were a woman.
In this case, it's going to be a lot of fun.
"Did you recognize that man?" Jun gave me a suspicious glance.
"I'd say he's a recognizable face to me. But, as you know, the snow was obstructing my vision. So, even though I knew who that man was, I couldn't tell you who he was," I explained while looking at that person, whom I was talking about, sitting next to me.
Alex proceeded to express his dissatisfaction. Within a minute, he was downing glasses of beer and sweating profusely on his brow. Before I can prove my theories, I simply needed one more indication. Let's wait and watch what he does next.
"I don't believe I need to stay here for long. Do you need to talk to me about any changes?" Alex, who was suddenly frantic, pulled himself up in a rush.
In an attempt to hide my grin, I accidentally bit my lower lip. Wow, it's strange to be sitting next to the first man I ever kissed. Who'd have guessed something like this could happen?
"I guess there aren't any," Mark replied with a worried expression on his face.
"All right, I've got to go," Alex said as he gathered his belongings.
"However, why?" Mark attempted to stop him. "It's not even past midnight."
"I'm sorry, I am not feeling well… I got to go home and rest."
"Okay, hope you will be fine soon." Henry waved his hand, watching his friend and bandmate walk away.
I felt compelled to follow him at that point.
So, I got up and gathered my belongings in a rush, too.
"Excuse me, too."
"Can you tell me where you're going?" Jun was curious.
I smiled and winked without saying anything. I smiled as I traced Alex's path behind me.
Back there, I couldn't quit thinking about how cute Alex looked. My mind was racing with ideas regarding his profile.
As far as I know, Alex doesn't have a girlfriend and has been a lone wolf, often disinterested in even a school flirtation. Although we've been rivals since the first year in the university, I've never walked so close to him before that we were almost touching each other.
Then, all of a sudden, he came to a complete stop.
"Can you tell me why you're following me?" Alex scowled as he turned to face me.
In response to his annoyance, I couldn't help but smile. "Alex, let's not go off on a tangent here."
"What the fuck are you talking about? First of all, I asked you first. Why are you following me?"
I shrugged and refused to answer him.
As I got closer to him, he continued to mumble and take steps away from me.
"I knew you were the guy I ran into today."
Let's see what you have to say.
Alex didn't respond, but the look in his eyes said otherwise.
I walked quickly to reach him and grabbed his hand, pulling him close to me as he turned his back, apparently irritated. Then, as he tried to flee, I placed my fingers around his neck, tracing his skin with my fingertips.
"This is known as The Locking Phase," I stated, causing Alex to become even more agitated.
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
"You purposefully lock the guy to demonstrate authority and consume him into submission."
"What the heck are you up to, scumbag?"
I locked my gaze on his, intending on demonstrating complete dominance over him. He flinched and averted his gaze from mine.
"You are an interesting individual, Alex."
He pushed me away in an attempt to flee, but he only managed to get away until I pinned him against the wall.
I took his chin in my hands and gently raised it.
With our faces close together, I could smell his drink and saw his eyes blazing at me, inviting me, luring me to take him into my grip.
"Is this how you go about picking up women?" Alex inquired with his voice gruff but high-pitched and whispering.
"Why does that bother you, Alex?"
"Fuck you, Chen."
"I'm sure no one has ever heard you speak like that before." I noticed his brows furrowed in rage as he gazed at me. His mouth slightly opened in disbelief as he pushed my hand away from his face. "It's a little too seductive. Too appealing."
"Now, what are you attempting to accomplish? You want to fuck me?" He pushed me too hard, causing me to fall on the wet ground. At this point, Alex became more agitated.
Rather than being afraid of what he stated, I felt the opposite. In my eardrums, his speech, which was loaded with dread and terror, sounded too attractive. "Wow, you're quite sharp, Alex. I didn't know you remembered that." I let out a sarcastic smile. "I like that."
He pushed me hard when he noticed I was caught off-guard and punched me in the face with his hands clenched so tight that his knuckles became white.
When I wiped my cheek, I discovered blood on my palm. Without thinking, I ran towards him, raising my arm to seize his shirt and slamming it into his face. Blood gushed out of his cheeks and crawled down his face. My cheek was swollen and covered in blood when he landed another punch.
He pulled me after I eventually tugged his collar after minutes of fist fighting.
"You, stupid—"
But then, he slipped. With his hands gripped on my shirt, I was pulled down. Things happened way too fast that I was already on top of him on the ground before I realized it.
It was already too late when I saw that our lips had touched while I was staring at him. Again.
When it happened, I felt a familiar sensation that I had for the first time flooding through me. I don't want to become accustomed to it, but I couldn't stop myself from tasting his lips.
At the time, unfortunately, I had heard that a group of students was on its way. So, when I turned to face them, my eyes widened, and so did Alex.
We were both taken aback when we learned they weren't just a group of students, but the members of our band and the student council. Holy shit.
We were both torn apart from each other and taken to the hospital to seek medical treatment for the injuries sustained in our fight.