I knocked and walked inside the hospital room, carrying a dish of porridge from a neighboring shop. Alex's condition on the hospital bed—wrapped in neck and back support—drew my attention. After the accident, he was knocked out for two days.
The kiss.
It's too late. I couldn't get it out of my head. I shook my head to clear my mind and concentrated on feeding this youngster. I turned around to see him frowning at me, perhaps because the sound of the plastic bag woke him up. While he snorted, I grinned.
"What brings you here?"
"The doctor advised me to look after you. I said yes since I'm a good lad."
"Good lad, my ass." He scoffed and rolled his eyes.
"I'll do whatever I want because you appear to be begging for my lips," I joked as I grabbed the bedside table for him to set the bowl on.
"What's that?"
"I understand you're hungry. So, I brought some steaming porridge."
He looked at me with a raised eyebrow.
Even when I opened the cover and set it near the bowl with a spoon dipped in oatmeal, he scowled.
"Eat," I ordered authoritatively. His arms were crossed and he rolled his eyes. "If you don't eat it, you'll—"
"Or else you're going to kiss me? You seem to like it, too," Alex interrupted, jumping in and finishing the sentence without hesitation.
I got a little too close to his lips as I leaned in closer.
When I got on the bed, he practically leaped out.
"Can you tell me what you're doing?" His self-assurance collapsed, and he scoffed. "Chen, I'm done with your games."
"We're just getting started." I smiled at him, drew myself away from him, and sat on the chair next to the bed.
Then, I crossed my legs and arms in front of him, my gaze riveted on him. His stomach began to churn just as I was going to take my phone from my pocket. I grinned and let out a gentle chuckle.
"Do I think I'm going to die if I consume a spoonful of this?"
While glancing at him, Alex mixes the porridge with the spork I gave him. A spork is a utensil that combines the functions of a spoon and a fork and is typically used to serve rice snacks.
"Do you believe I'm going to murder you?"
"You know, many people die of a broken heart."
After that, he didn't say anything and had a puzzled expression on his face when he heard my sarcasm. Frustrated, he tossed the spork aside and pushed the porridge away, refusing to eat.
I chuckled and gave him a direct stare. "You're adorable," I said without giving it a thought, which surprised me. Why did I say something like that?
Along with the abrupt shudder from the tip of my spine up, my stomach felt twisted. Without breaking eye contact, my mind was loaded with a lot of things unconsciously.
Alex, on the other hand, was uneasy but was trying too hard to maintain his cool.
I grinned when he got a scoop, not because I appreciated his effort, but because it relieved my strain.
"See? You're still alive, right? Your porridge was not poisoned by me. At the very least, trust me this time. To beat me in the event, you must live. We still have a few weeks until the main event."
"Whatever," Alex grumbled as he ate more scoops of porridge until the entire dish was gone. He had a burp. I averted my gaze, browsed through my phone to check texts, and missed calls from other women I had dated. They all stated the same thing at the same time.
Can we meet tonight, Chen? I'm feeling lonely.
Just reading their weak texts made me groan exasperatedly that reading one message after another turned into a diary. Their statements reminded me of occasions when I was having too much fun with them and lost track of time, as well as instances when time seemed to slow down because of someone.
My gaze shifted upward and fell on Alex's face.
What has gotten into me that I can't stop staring at his smooth, pale skin?
Sitting in front of him allowed me to get a good look at his face. His complexion was pure white, and he had a round face with a defined jawline that matched his brown eyes, a sharp nose, and small pink but dried and chapped lips.
I was unaware that I was instinctively biting my lower lip as if the need to wet them with my tongue had grown stronger. To stop this crazy and absurd thought, I continued to delete the history of my messages and spam emails.
But then, I couldn't find myself doing it. Instead, my eyes crawled from his hands, tracing the shape of his arms up until I reached his face.
I stopped when I saw two names spring out to me from the list of names on the screen. Louisa Yang, the most recent woman I dumped after attempting to take our platonic relationship more seriously; and Anna Lee, the woman before Louisa, who could suck my cock like a delicious lollipop.
Despite these women having a variety of bedroom skills, none of them stood out to me. These scumbags were no fun at all.
Then, I returned my gaze to Alex, following his outline with my eyes. When I looked at his lips, I gulped. I shook my head, trying to shake myself free of this terrible fantasy when all of a sudden…
He cleared his throat. "Did you believe I am gay, Chen?"
I was on the verge of leaping out of my seat and dropping my phone on the floor.
Alex, what do you want me to say?
"Dig these phrases into your dull-witted skull. I am not gay. Okay?" He sputtered and slumped on the pillows behind his back, "I'm a man." Why are you so concerned by a simple kiss if you don't think you're gay?
"I don't give a damn if you're gay or not."
The only thing I could think of was to sit back in my chair and read through my phone. He scoffed while leaning against the pillows, lifting an eyebrow and rolling his eyes without losing eye contact.
"Don't be concerned. That kiss was completely uninteresting. There was no spark. There wasn't any excitement. Nothing. Are you happy now?"
Alex continued to stare and refused to respond.
I grumbled and redirected my attention to removing and blocking contacts to restore my peace of mind. I desired to spend the night with someone to mend my desires. But to whom is this addressed?
I got a text message. "This is Anna," the message said. "I'm desperate to meet you." Perfect.
I took a stand without giving it much thought. "Where are you going?"
I stepped towards the entrance.
"None of your business." I opened the door and walked out.
I recoiled as I noticed Jun leaning against the wall outside Alex's room just before the door closed.
"Jun."
"Oh, Chen. You're here, too," he said in response, inviting me for a high five. After our hands clapped, he continued, asking "Are you with the guys?"
"No." I shook my head but my eyes widened when I noticed Henry nearby. "So, you're with Henry."
"Yes," he stuttered. His eyebrows furrowed. "It's quite a surprise that you visited Alex alone."
I declined to give him an answer. But that wasn't enough for Jun, so he continued digging into my intentions and why I was there at the hospital where Alex was admitted after the accident.
"How did you end up here? Aren't you going inside and visiting Alex before, so we could leave together? You know, it would be less awkward to pay him a visit when you're around," Jun whispered, as we approached Alex's room.
"Fine," I replied with disinterest while I opened the door for us and saw Alex still feeding himself with the porridge I bought for him earlier.
When he noticed us, Jun awkwardly waved his hand and smiled at him. "Hi."
"Hi," Alex said in response awkwardly. "I see, you're here, too," he added when he saw Henry beside Jun.
"Oh, I'm glad you have something to eat, man, because I forgot to stop by somewhere when I came here," Henry explained. "By the way, did the guys bring you some food before or Mark? Because I'm not sure if I reminded them to buy one for you."
"No," Alex replied, which surprised Henry and Jun.
"So, who brought this?"
He flicked his head in my direction. Both Henry and Jun's eyes widened.
"What's wrong about it?"
They both shook their heads.
With a shake of his head, Jun expressed his dissatisfaction with the situation. He moved away from the wall and took a decent position in front of me. "I didn't expect you to be so generous. To him, in particular."
"Can you tell me what you're talking about?" Henry interrupted with his hands on his waist.
"Tell me, are you sick of sleeping with several women? Have you grown tired of them?" Jun leaned his torso closer to me and stared into my eyes. I averted my gaze and found myself staring at Alex instead.
"Can you tell me why you're asking that?"
Jun turned his head and followed where I was looking without saying anything and then, laughed. He lifted his pointer finger after taking a few steps away from me as if he had forgotten something. He shifted his weight to face me and made a recommendation that left me speechless.
"How about doing some fan service to spice things up between the two of you?"
"What exactly do you mean by fan service?"
"K-pop male groups, for example. To invite their followers to their concerts, they kiss, hug and display various sorts of kinship in front of them. You'll do the same to make them happy. How do you feel about that?"
I pursed my lips as I considered his strange suggestion. Did Jun accept this suggestion as a result of the kiss he witnessed? My arms were crossed.
"It is, nonetheless, a nice notion. Was it a good plan? Because honestly, I'm at a loss for words right now."
My thoughts were on Anna, who had texted me earlier. I was hoping to meet her at the boys' party that night. DBXQ, on the other hand, wanted to meet up with Anna and me later at the same club.
"Do you believe you'll be able to persuade Alex to do it?"
Henry gave Alex a signal with his eyes. I gulped and saw Jun's smile in the hindsight.
I put my hand on his shoulders and patted him on the back.
"With me, nothing is impossible. Keep it in mind, Jun."
I lifted my hand, signaling to him that I was leaving the hospital and going somewhere while ignoring what they were saying as I headed out.