"Wait, so let me get this straight." She paused in her exploration of the book to look the group in their eyes and see if they were being honest, "You believe that gods descended to earth, figured out how to make employment cool, and then, what? Decided it was time to go?"
"No, not at all. Okay, let me start over." Ismene was a very animated hand-talker when she was awake, her hands moving about and gesturing as she spoke. "So, Bang - universe is created. This basically creates the cosmic chicken or the egg situation, and guess what? The answer is egg. The gods are formed, but are sort of in egg form because they can't do anything yet. A long, long, long, long, long time passes, and the baby gods finally crack their shells and make an entrance. While they were asleep, Earth happened and the gods said 'That's pretty neat. Let's check it out'. So there are thirteen gods that come down to Earth. The first is their leader, Aetes. He's the king of the gods. Then you had Ino, Cratinus, Heiro, Atonia, Nikomedes, Alphaeus, Geleon, Pherenike, Leodes, Sotera, Evamene, and lastly Lasos."
Ismene took another sip of her espresso, "So, the thirteen gods come down, and at this point, humans are still hunter gatherers and we're an endangered species because there's scary stuff like sabertooth tigers and what not making a meal of us. But the gods see something promising in the humans and decide 'I like you, I'm keeping you'. So the gods looked at the humans and gave gifts to their best and brightest and said that they should build thirteen kingdoms, one for each god. So those blessed by the gods made thirteen kingdoms around the world and the gods took up residence for thousands of years."
"Long story short," Ismene continued as she got up to refill her espresso. "Peace and prosperity reigns for milenia, ushers in a golden age, yada yada yada and all that jazz. And then!" She turned back to Leta excitedly, golden eyes wide as if ready to spill a secret, "We found out that the gods weren't the only ones that were slowly developing over millions of years since the big bang. There were other, darker beings as well, ones that would swallow a city in a single gulp or accidentally screw up Earth's gravity and send the planet spinning into the sun. Real bad stuff, you know? So the gods get together and say they need to leave now to fight these coming evils."
Ismene slid back into her chair with a cup full of espresso. "One of the gods, Nikomedes, rebelled against the others and said that they could and should rule the Earth and possibly negotiate with the Dark Ones so that they could continue to rule our planet. Angered, the twelve others rose up and killed Nikomedes. The gods then gathered and prepared to leave when Nikomedes's followers rose up, using their talents to try and prevent the gods and their closest followers from leaving."
Alister use his meaty fists to make an explosion gesture with sound effects. "Boom! Daft fools thought they could force the hands of gods. Lot of good that did them. They were quickly and easily overpowered and killed off, save for the youngest of children among them."
Ismene nodded, yawning into her cup, "Well, no good deed goes unpunished, as they say. After their rebellion was squashed, the gods did what they said they wound and vamos-ed out of here to fight the Dark Ones, and like the nice house guests that they were, they cleaned up after themselves - took everything that could be used as a weapon if it got into the wrong hands, if you know what I mean."
"Unfortunately," Eriene took up the story as Ismene paused to give a long, jaw cracking yawn, "The human race had become too reliant on our gods. Though the deities left select people behind to watch over and continue to guide the human race, without the gods' influence, the situation became very bad, very quickly. Famine and disease ran rampant, and many people died."
Taking back over telling the tale, Ismene said, "So, the human race is floundering around helpless, and the Chosen, those left behind to care for things when the gods left, are doing their best to get us back on our feet, when the kids of Nkomedes's followers, the ones they spared, decide to make an appearance. See, these guys had been organising and getting together with a hatred of the gods. Think Adolf before he got big - going around to bars, talking smack, and spreading baseless and dangerous rumours that are completely untrue."
Ismene took one last gulp as she finished her espresso, "So one of them gets the idea 'hey! My old man was a favourite of Nikomedes and he said there's some artefact with Niko's blood that will help us fight back and take Earth like we were supposed to. So, they find the artefact and, like any angsty emo teen would do, they perform a blood ritual. So those blessings that the gods gave to the Chosen? Now these kids have them too and start calling themselves the Blessed. But these nifty tricks come with some pretty severe side effects - more than just the good old 'may cause swelling and headaches' variety. We're talking 'may burst into flames if exposed to UV radiation' and the 'may go rabid and turn into a hairy psycho while reducing brain capacity' variety."
"And to this day," Ismene lowered her voice an octave and wiggled her fingers like a summer camp counsellor telling a ghost story. "The Blessed and the Chosen continue to fight their mighty and noble war in the shadows, one wishing to rule the world, the other wishing to protect the innocent humans, fooooooorrrrreeeeeevvveeeeerrrrrr."
Leta blinked, completely speechless.
'Oh my god, they don't know.' she thought to herself.
[INDEED. THESE INDIVIDUALS BELIEVE THAT THE ATLANTIAN DOCTORS AND ENGINEERS THAT CAME TO COLONISE EARTH FOR LABOUR AND RESOURCES WERE IN FACT GODS THAT CAME TO HELP HUMANS AND THE PLANET GROW AND PROSPER.]
'Holy sh**, they really don't know.' Leta repeated in silence, trying to process how her life could go completely AWOL in such a short period of time. 'What am I gonna do?'
[I WOULD ADVISE ALLOWING THESE INDIVIDUALS TO DELUDE THEMSELVES IN THEIR BELIEFS THAT THEY ARE CHOSEN TO PROTECT EARTH AT THIS TIME. REGARDLESS OF THEIR FALSE FAITH, THE BLESSED HAVE PROVEN THAT THEY CANNOT BE TRUSTED, WHILE THE CHOSEN HAVE, FOR THE MOST PART, ATTEMPTED TO REASON WITH YOU.]
'I hardly think threatening me then offering me tea counts as trying to reason with me, but I'll overlook that for now.'
"Let's say for sh**s and giggles that I believe this craziness you're talking about, what now? I'd like to go back to my rental and slip into a small coma until I can go back to excavating the dig site, but something tells me that's not going to happen."
"Yeah, that's a lost cause, sista friend." Ismene yawned, "You've got a lot of futures where you do walk out that door and get killed pretty quickly. In fact, I haven't seen a future where you don't get attacked in the next 24 hours. However, there are a lot more where you make a few good choices that at least prolong your stay on Terra Firma for a while."
"And what are those choices?"
Ismene gave a tired but coy smile, like a lazy cat spotting a canary, "First choice is, do you prefer your stalkers to tail you from the shadows, or would you like them to do it out in the open for your viewing pleasure? Just kidding! You don't get a choice in the matter, but good luck playing the 'Where's Waldo?' game of trying to find those stalkers."
Then her eyes went wide and her body went rigid with shock, the golden lines on her skin flaring and shining bright, her eyes like beacons in a storm staring upwards.
She opened her mouth and it was as if hundreds of voices were layered together, creating a strange and alarming cacophony of tones and inflections all speaking as one.
"On the day that shadows cover the land and blood flows down the streets, a monarch of silver fury will rise against the darkness and all shall bear witness to ascension!"
As soon as the last syllable left her lips, Ismene fell backwards in her chair, limp as a ragdoll and snoring.
"Oh lovely, another prophecy." Irene sighed, "Allister, be a dear and put her to bed? I need to find a post-it note and write that down."