Chereads / Whut is da DAKKA and how much is too much. / Chapter 42 - Entertainment not funny enuf

Chapter 42 - Entertainment not funny enuf

What can you say about about daemons of Tzeentch? They are smart, crafty, genius, or almost genius level of intellect. That's all true, but there is also one thing you can associate them with. They are all without exception very, very stupid. Not in the normal way though. They just overthink things and make overly complicated plans to which one rusty nut is enough to destroy. 

In this case, Tzeentch daemon number one decided to head for the weirdest presence on board the rock. The resident weird boy Yodark, somehow got back hands and legs. They were stolen from a grot though and right now he was beating a much bigger Ork boy with a stick. The Ork boyz mistook him for a grot and tried to eat him. But then Yodark woke up and charged with the mysterious power of WAAGH defended himself. – Eat who da zog you want? – Roared Yodark and keep beating him up. –Now, ungry am I too. Yeat you going I am.

Daemon on the other hand observed this and decided to bolster Yodark`s power to make things more chaotic. 

Which went well? Sort of?

The blessing quite literally bounced back and hit the daemon like a baseball bat to the head. He got more powerful but this action redirected Yodark's attention from an unfortunate Ork boy to a large blue chicken. 

-Zog, chicken see I. Eat it will I. – His eyes lighted up in green light.

Daemon wanted to teleport away but green light made space look and feel like a green jelly. It was impossible to move, and the Ork was quickly closing in. He tried to shoot a stream of warp fire but this only made the Ork laugh and mumble something about spicy chicken. Then he was caught and the terror began. 

Yodark was very happy with his catch, with a burst of warp fire/puke he burned away all the feathers and telekinetically stuffed a squig inside. Most important is that he forgot a knife so he just pushed the squig inside through the small opening under its tail. 

Daemon when suffering such torture could utter only three words.- Emperor save me.

The meal turned out great and tasty. From an Orky point of view at least. It was spicy, with little fat inside, but very nutritious, for Yodark. Normal boyz who nikked a leg exploded after eating a single bite. 

Khorne Bloodletters on the other hand straight up did one most honorable thing. They challenged two foightiest looking Orks on Da Rock. Which meant DA Boss and Zorko who was sparing with him. The Duo interrupted the whopping Zorko was receiving and pointed their blades at them. 

Da Boss dumbfounded at this soon became enraged as this was a direct challenge to his status. Zorko too felt as if these nobodies challenged Da Boss without even being that big or well-known. He brandished his 3 choppas and charged at the daemon. 

They were evenly matched going blow for blow. They focused on each other not caring about their surroundings. Their slashes would kill unfortunate bystanders and scratch the walls of their cave.

Boss on the other hand in his silent rage waited for his opponent to make a first move. He stood defiant to warp influence to fall into rage-induced battle. He decided that this time he would punish the offender with cold calculation. Bloodletter charged at him with a scream. Da Boss grabbed the assailant by the sword-wielding hand and head-butted him. Not letting him go he started to smash his right fist into his face. But Blood Letter did not give up. He was not giving up and with his free hand, he was scratching Boss`s armor. – Ya zog is disappointing git. – Boss said very disappointed and slowly started to walk towards doors that led to space. Bloodletter was frantically fighting against Da Boss, but he only struck him with a nearby wall. – Stop h`ittng yourself with a wall. – When he was at the edge of Da Rock he threw the daemon into deep space. – Get lost loser! 

Daemon slowly floated away without ever hoping to get back to the immaterium as there were no souls that could induce a breach in the border. 

The last reaming daemon of Tzeentch looked at this all and decided to bail out, but when he opened the portal and entered the warp he was not where he originally entered. He found himself in a very green place where 2 giant Orks were fighting. Their blows create ripples in space.