Forge World Mundus Ferrus Report – Segmentum Ultima
Forge World Mundus Ferrus, a lesser yet industrious forge world in Segmentum Ultima, was once a loyal, peaceful Imperial world. The planet boasted a massive hive city dedicated to assembly lines, surrounded by wastelands of mines and smelteries. This once-steadfast world began its descent into heresy a few decades ago, when a diplomatic envoy from the vile Tau Empire arrived. The planetary governor, unknowingly greeting the xenos with misplaced Imperial kindness, allowed the Tau to establish themselves, opening the door for their "Greater Good" cult to seep into society, sowing discord and heresy.
Initially, few suspected the treachery growing in the shadows. However, when a Tau fleet arrived, boldly demanding compliance, the truth was laid bare. The governor, wisely refusing their demands, soon fell to betrayal; his closest advisors assassinated him and, in a moment of treason, invited the xenos fully into their world. Loyalists, horrified, withdrew beyond the hive city, severing supply lines and calling for aid from the wider Imperium. The traitors, now supported by Tau forces, purged all remaining signs of Imperial faith in the hive city, desecrating shrines and letting rivers of innocent blood flow in their zeal for "Greater Good."
Their cries of help, however, did not go unanswered. The Imperial Navy's Camelot's Pride arrived in record time, its battlegroup besieging the Tau fleet above Mundus Ferrus. But while the Tau and Imperials locked horns both in space and on the planet, a new threat was descending upon them, and its name was WAAAGH! Deef Star.
The arrival of Da Boss and his Boyz went almost unnoticed by both fleets, as they were too busy slugging it out to pay heed to an oncoming asteroid—and ignoring an Ork is a mistake few live to regret.
Da Boss took stock of the situation from the Deef Star's "bridge," using his binoculars made from green beer bottles, observing the fighting below. A massive grin cracked his scarred face.
"Alright, Boyz! 'Ere's da plan!" Da Boss bellowed, pointing at the hive city below. "Ya see dat 'ill o'er dere? We'z gonna drop right on top o' it, right propa! We loot, we fight, we nick wut we can, and den we leg it back to Deef Star. Too many umies an' blue boyz ta stick 'round fer long! We hit fast, we hit 'ard, and we git back fer beer! Any git got questions?"
A boy raised a hand hesitantly. "Why'z we not attackin' da ships, Boss?"
Da Boss scratched his head, then smacked the boy. "'Coz dere gits iz more shooty! If we loot propa first, we'z gonna be more shooty. Now shut yer gob!"
The Boyz nodded in solemn agreement, and Da Boss continued outlining his plan.
"Graxmek, Nuthead! You two find me da biggest rokkits ya can fer Deef Star! Dis thing needs more zoggin' engines!"
Graxmek and Nuthead raised their wrenches high. "Ya got it, Boss! We'll find da biggest dakka and rokkits dere iz!"
Da Boss turned to Trakk. "You'z in charge o' da go-juice! Loot it, nick it, then burn da rest!"
"I'll nick it all, Boss!" Trakk grinned, chomping on a cigar and taking a swig from a jerry can.
Next, Da Boss eyed Doc Kidler, the Painboy. "Doc, you an' yer painboyz find dose big round tanks an' da chimneys. I got a feelin' dere's fun stuff in dere." As he pointed to the left side of the hive city.
Kidler cackled wildly. "Time to practice some medicine!" He shook his grabba-stick with glee.
"Mauork," Da Boss said, turning to his sneaky Kommando pyromaniac, "Ya find da blue boyz an' make 'em squeal. Hit 'em so hard even Gork an' Mork'll wince!"
Mauork just grinned, his teef glinting as he fingered the fuse of a burna bomb.
"Yodark, ya get to da pointy tower an' do yer fing. Make da whole lot go green."
"Da WAAAGH be wiv us, Boss!" Yodark proclaimed, brandishing his green-painted staff with pride.
Finally, Da Boss looked to Zorko and Oggaz. "You boyz stick wiv me. We'z headin' fer where da flashiest gitz iz shootin' their flashy dakkas!"
As the Boyz cheered, one raised his hand again. "Boss, how'z we gettin' down dere? If we land Deef Star, it's gonna be more like Da Deef Hill, wiv da humies shootin' at it."
For once, Da Boss held back a smack, thinking the question was fair. "We'z got trukks! We'll strap some zoggin' parachutes on 'em, an' we'z gonna drop 'em out da Deef Star! Easy, ya gitz!"
The Boyz, satisfied with Da Boss's brilliant "sky-droppin'" plan, immediately set to work, preparing their trucks and strapping on parachutes made from grot-torn tarps. As Deef Star's engines roared and the planet loomed larger in their vision, Da Boss took one last swig of Doc Kidler's mushroom beer and laughed as only an Ork could, roaring loud enough to make the hull shudder.
"Get ready, ya gits! Today's da day fer krumpin', lootin', and blastin' dem shiny blue gitz!"