The settlement was completely surrounded from all sides by human forces. When Boss saw this he became enraged because da punny umiez were stomping on Lob`s favorite lawn, the very green lawn. Which one no one knows as the favorite lawn would change daily several times, but this was enough to enrage the Boss. The WAGHH Roar that he made was one of the loudest if not the loudest one he ever made, which worked well as all the sleepy Orks immediately woke up and readied for battle. The rally point was of course the Boss. When he saw the Orks running towards him he swung his clobba towards the nearest human forces. When Ork saw them they all stopped in their tracks. There were more humans than Orks and by a lot. As a result, every Ork started to point at the human army, some even started to shiver and move in a chaotic way.
When the human commander saw this particular behavior of his enemies, he became overjoyed. The enemies were cowards that he would trample with a simple numerical advantage. Human soldiers became spirited and more confident too. But the next thing that happened crushed all their hopes as every single Ork boyz without exception started to laugh and Boss laughed the most.
The reason for this was that the only human soldiers that could put some sort of a fight were gathered around the human leader, and there were no more than a lot of them. In human terms, there were around 500 of heavily armored infantry, and they did not have heavy cavalry with them, only light one and not in a great number. The rest of the human forces were simple mob infantry with wooden spears, leather armor, and a starvation diet.
Boss marched forward – Oi umiez! Iz dut all? Couze if thiz iz all ur boyz then ya z got to fuw uf dem.
The human leader shouted back – We have 10 000 troops, you are no match for us.
Boss laughed and turned to his Orks – Oi dere iz only 10 lots of dem! Ya all think we can foight them? – Orks laughed and roared WAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHH – Oi, grab me Grots, Snotling and Squigs!
Soon grots and squigs were brought to him, and with a big evil smile, he grabbed one squig and with all power that he could muster, he throw it. Squig that was flying thru the air became scared, which as a result made him want to chomp something and when he landed among humans he started to bite everything he could find, mostly human legs. Other Orks found this hilarious and joined in the fun too. Mekboy that previously took the catapult aimed it roughly towards humans and started to shoot using squigs and grots as ammunition, even one unfortunate Ork got his ass lunched in the air.
Human leaders being pompous and fat noble could not stand being ridiculed by swamp monsters. As such, he ordered one of his men to blast the biggest Ork into oblivion. Man in long robes nodded his head and cast a big fireball toward the biggest Ork. Boss saw this and in the last second hit the fireball with the clobba. The resulting effect caused a big explosion. Orks in a matter of seconds fell silent looking at the place where once their boss was.
When the dust fell Orks saw something most horrifying in the world. The clobba that belonged to the Boss was laying broken in half. The Boss himself was sent flying and landed on his throne. His clothes were burned. He was silent for a moment then he spat some blood. In his naked glory with shaky steps, he walked to his clobba and grabbed it. He wanted to rail his boyz and raised his beloved weapon to the sky, but when he did it the top half of it broke of and hit the ground.
-Gulp – Could be heard from every orkoid in the sieged settlement. Every Orkoid took a step back from the Boss. The exception was the Lob, who happily run to his owner. Boss bend down and grabbed him in a gentle grip. Lob's eyes almost popped out from that gentleness, but it only made him serious.
-Ya, puny umie broke ma clobba by lobbing a fire at me, ehh? Then what if lob a Lob at ya! – Boss with fury in his eyes lobbed Lob across the battlefield.
The mage did not expect that something would survive that blast, much less that when dust and smoke settled down his target would lob at him a mad ball with a giant mouth and stubby legs. With a loud CHOMP Lob bit off the head of the unfortunate mage.
Orks again became lively, but this time in not so happy way. The mood and anger of the Boss affected them all, and Boss wanted nothing more than the death of all the humans that were gathered before him.
The rest of the battle was short. Human mob infantry stood no chance against a horde of Orks led by angry Boss who just lost his favorite clobba. When the day finally ended only the human leader was left alive. Boss held him by the throat and looked him in the eyes. – Now, umie, ya will tell uz what do ya eve to say?
Humans only spat at boses`s face and laughed.
-Being funny, aint ya?- Boss laughed too. – Iz nut going to killa ya. Iz guing to ive ya to ur doctur to test ya or maybe squig farmer. They will make ya sing like a buzz squig.
The human stopped laughing when he heard Boss`s words. As a fat noble he was never, ever put in any kind of danger, and now, he was about to meet with Ork hospitality.