Even the smallest of us wolves know what this word means. We're drummed into thinking that there's only that one special someone that makes you fall madly in love. It's not for nothing that they say that the eyes are the mirror to the soul, and when you look into your soulmate's, you're looking right inside them, just like they look into yours. You reflect on it, recognize its darkest abysses and are made to accept them without resistance.
Wolves who have been lucky enough to find their mate always tell their experiences in the same way.
It would only take one look, and time and space would lose meaning. You feel connected to him and know that only he can make you perfect and that only he is able to bless you with happiness and love.
But my personal opinion is different. I feel compelled to know that I don't have the right to control my life on my own. There's no guarantee you'll even find your soulmate, and when you do, what then?
Yes, then what?
Thoroughly unnerved by the subject of the lesson, I dropped my pen in frustration and hastily stood up and asked Mr. Handsome to go to the bathroom. I wouldn't get 500 words together anyway. Was even glad that I could think of anything to write down at all.
When he gave me permission with a nod, I walked slowly along the edge of the room to the door, letting my eyes wander over my classmates. Everyone seemed very enthusiastic about this topic, which I couldn't understand at all. Didn't they want self-realization, just total dependence? Was I the only one who felt afraid of being attached to someone?
Shaking my head, I disappeared into the hallway, through whose large windows the sun got in and looked for the toilet a few doors down, where I immediately heard a tearful sobbing.
I stood frozen in the doorway, not sure whether to go in or out.
After a moment's hesitation, curiosity and sympathy plagued me, so I closed the door behind me and took a few cautious steps towards the sinks, which were on the right side of the room, opposite the three cabins.
Sobbing in my ears, I looked at myself in the mirror and then turned on the cold water to run over my hands.
It was refreshing and soothing, but I quickly turned it off and turned to the cabins.
"Hello?" I asked softly and the person in the booth stopped howling immediately, bringing instant relief to my ears.
"Jadelyn?"
"Guiselle?"
Immediately, the girl I knew from detention opened the cabin door and looked up at her wet blue eyes with me. Startled that she looked like shit compared to usual, I quickly ran towards her. Her blond hair with purple strands looked disheveled, the otherwise beautiful brown skin was pale and her eyes reflected fear and despair, which sent a shiver down my spine.
"What happened?" I asked sympathetically and put my hand on her shoulder until I suddenly felt something wet and pulled my hand back in irritation, which to my astonishment suddenly had blood on it.
"He just tagged me against my will," she breathed, crying, and let herself fall into my arms, exhausted.
I hugged her tightly, saving her from asking any more questions, trying to soothe her with a steady stroking of her trembling back.
What a crap!
I only knew her from detention and since she often messed things up, she had been twice already. So, in front of me was an adult female wolf who probably hadn't found a mate when she came of age and now the male wolves thought they could attack her as if she were fair game or just there to belong to someone.
This world was so unfair and once again I was just grateful to have Devin. My brother made sure that nothing like this would ever happen to me.
"What am I going to do now?" she asked through sobs, pulling away from me to adjust her black blazer.
We didn't have a police station and if they did, they wouldn't do anything about it anyway. The superiors were our law, but they would probably even laugh at her or claim that she was lucky to have found someone who wanted her as a mate.
But there was one who had sympathy for us girls and tried again and again to prevent forced marking.
"Come with me," I whispered, holding out my hand before pulling her down the sun-drenched hallway after me. "I'll get Mr. Handsome."
Arriving in front of my classroom, she leaned her back against the wall and hung her head. I was infinitely sorry to see the girl, who usually laughed so often, suddenly so broken. Someone should tell me again that something in my world would be fair.
I looked away from her, opened the door just a little, and looked for help at Mr. Handsome, who was sitting at the desk reading a book.
"Mr. Handsome," I said softly, but apparently not softly enough, because my classmates suddenly looked at me in shock.
He looked up from his book, stared at me questioningly for a moment before his eyes widened and he hurriedly got to his feet.
"Keep writing. I'll be right back," he addressed the class and then quickly ran over to me, closing the door behind him when I got to the hallway. "What happened? Is that your blood, Jadelyn?"
It wasn't until he pointed to my shoulder that I realized why everyone was staring at me in such shock. My denim jacket must have gotten some of the red liquid from the hug.
Before I even got around to explaining anything, his eyes fell on Guiselle, who was still leaning against the wall next to us and crying incessantly.
"Go back to class."
He didn't look at me anymore, but I nodded anyway and then opened the door with a pitiful look at the blonde and disappeared into the classroom, where everyone was still busy writing.
A few looked at me in confusion, including the girl in charge, but I just looked down, scared that something like this might happen to me.
Being forced to belong to someone and then it wasn't even the soul mate you should be hoping for... A horrible thought to banish.
As soon as I arrived at my seat, my two friends looked at me questioningly, but then the bell rang for the break and everyone around me got up hastily to storm the hallway.
"Whose blood is that?" Sawyer asked, helping me put my stuff in the backpack because I suddenly felt unable to do anything.
****
Aleya, Saywer and I were almost the last to storm into the already crowded and noisy cafeteria. Of course, all the round tables by the windows were unfortunately already occupied and so we only had one of the tables near the trash cans, which immediately put me in an even worse mood than I already had based on what I had experienced.
I wanted to roll my eyes again, but as soon as we were seated, Sawyer caught my attention.
"Now will you tell us whose blood this is?"
He was looking at me just as curiously as Aleya, nervously fiddling with his lip piercing while I hurriedly took off my denim jacket and stuffed it into my backpack. If my brother saw her, only unnecessary questions would come up, which I didn't want him to answer. He worried enough about me and my future.
"From Guiselle, she was forcibly tagged," I breathed in dismay, adjusting my white sweater and breathing heavily. Aleya looked at Sawyer and I could already imagine why she was looking at him for help.
Female wolves with steady mates were less likely to be attacked for fear of retaliation. Unfortunately, brothers had no right to protect their sisters from such a thing, since they were not entitled to cohabitant wolves. That was the law and that's why we played our secret game until I found a sane, decent mate.
I had to laugh out loud inside at the thought. As if I would be so lucky.
"Do you know who it was?" Aleya asked me, but I didn't even get to answer her.
"Who was what? May I sit down?"
Out of nowhere the girl with the black curly hair was standing at our table and apparently her question was meant for me alone, because she didn't stop scrutinizing me for a second.
I didn't say anything, just stared spellbound into her dark eyes and waited for someone to please bring me out of this rigidity that I couldn't break free of myself. Something about her, and I didn't know what it was, was magically pulling me in and even my inner wolf went slightly nuts, which made me jump in shock. She never really spoke up in my human form, and that's exactly why I was suddenly worried that she was trying to warn me about something.
"Don't you want to finally answer her?" came the menacing voice of the big guy who seemed to be following her every step. My gaze darted over to him and it was only then that I noticed a large bite scar right on his throat. She looked awful, like he should be dead and noticing my intense staring at it, he gasped and started to take a step toward me, but the girl reached out her arm to hold him in place beside her .
"My name is Viola, this is Trevis. May we sit down or not?"
I got heart racing just from his piercing gaze and since I was surrounded by wolves I'm sure they would all notice that I was super nervous and scared. My eyes darted over to Aleya and Sawyer, who were also eyeing the two standing in front of us curiously.
After a few seconds of seemingly endless silence, I then heard this Trevis growl softly, running a hand through his jet-black hair, which fell wildly to his ears.
"You know, Viola doesn't even have to ask your permission!" he growled, taking a step towards me so that I was immediately enveloped by the scent of forest and freedom that clung to him. My heart was beating like crazy because I didn't know the superiors and how far they would go in an argument, even though it wasn't even one. "She's the daughter of the alpha and the sister of the future one! So please be respectful and answer if you're asked a question!"
While Aleya and Sawyer took deep breaths, I glanced back at Viola, who was eyeing me blankly.
So she was the Alpha's daughter. So she was the daughter of the man who made everything in my life go wrong. The memory of the worst time of my life came up in me and I literally felt how anger and hate took over everything in me and completely overshadowed the fear. I stood up in rejection of her, clenched my hands into fists and bit my bottom lip angrily.
"I don't give a shit who she is! She can sit down if I don't mind! I'm going!" I hissed, noticing the many pairs of eyes that were on the three of us. But I didn't care as much as anything else. I just wanted to be far away from her.
"Oh yeah, you're leaving?" Trevis asked in amusement, then grabbed my arm tightly to shove me straight back into the chair.
"Jady, please stop," Aleya's soft voice sounded next to me, but I had no intention of submitting to wolves who only cared about their side of the bridge. There was certainly peace and order among them. No rapes, no coercive tagging, no secrets about mates, or anything else. Only expensive parties, fireworks and all the bigwigs all around. What bothered me the most was that they were able to enjoy being wolf to the fullest while I had to keep it a secret, like the rest of my life.
"I said I'm going, so get out of my way!"
I got up again and suddenly I felt that the two were having a conversation about their thoughts. They both stared at me until Trevis suddenly beamed from ear to ear and took a step to the side.
"See you," he murmured, grinning, and without looking back or considering his over-the-top friendliness, I quickly walked into the hallway and out into the sun to take a deep breath and calm down.
Brave, but absolutely stupid and unnecessary. I'm sure my brother would say that now, but there was a reason I didn't want the upper class around, let alone the Alpha's family, because because of him, my parents disappeared and will probably never come back.. .