I hardly noticed the bell ringing for the next hour. I was still standing, blinded by the sun, in front of the entrance to our school, looking into nothing and was catapulted into my past by the vortex of thoughts in my head.
Images of my quarreling parents ran in front of my inner eye. farewell scenes. Memories of tears, anger and disappointment, which ultimately drove me to run down the stairs and get out.
I would simply explain to Mr. Handsome that the incident with Guiselle was too much for me and I would be back in time so that my brother would not notice my disappearance.
That was the plan!
My feet carried me faster and faster along the deserted streets while the sun shone down on me and colorful leaves fell from the trees. The beginning of autumn used to be my favorite time of year, but today, on this overwhelming day, I only noticed the bright colors around me in passing. I was too taken with myself.
I kept thinking about Viola's eyes, about Trevis' sudden change of heart, and also about Guiselle, who I still didn't know who had simply claimed her.
Probably some idiot from our school who had come of age and hadn't found a mate. Then they quickly decided to take another one.
Wolves are really predators, there is no other way to describe it.
When I finally arrived at the sports field on the outskirts of town, I stopped for a moment and breathed in the fresh forest air with my eyes closed, which immediately relieved the tension in my body.
Our little town, the wolves, all the problems were now behind me, while in front of me began the forest, which promised me complete freedom through its captivating scent alone.
Full of anticipation, I ran across the meadow behind the sports field and then hid between two trees to get rid of my backpack and clothes. I just hoped I wouldn't lose anything this time, but before I could even get to take off anything but my backpack, I suddenly heard a branch snap not far away, which made me look startled in the direction of the noise source.
It must have been my imagination, I kept telling myself, and ignoring my fast heartbeat, I curiously walked a few steps into the forest.
The colorful leaves rustled under my black sneakers, while a few rays of sunshine shone through the dense trees and only a gloomy forest lay in front of me.
Why didn't I just run away? Well, those who knew me knew that it wasn't possible for me not to satisfy my curiosity, so I kept walking until I came to a small clearing.
I stood right in the middle of the small square, turned around several times to search, but I neither heard nor saw anything that allowed me to take a deep breath. If someone saw me here in the forbidden forest... they would surely punish me with whatever...
I looked around one last time at the beautiful trees before heading back, but suddenly I stopped and my eyes widened in shock.
In front of me, between the trees and the sunbeams, stood a pitch-black wolf, his eyes fixed on me and his posture radiating pure hostility.
Crap!
If it were one of us below, he would surely have thoughts of a forced marking. When do you ever find a girl alone in the woods, far from any help? Of course, this could never happen to me...
If it were one of the superiors, I would probably pay for being here, which would probably be even worse...
Breathing shallowly, my hands shaking, I could feel my heart pounding in my throat while my eyes locked on him. I had no intention of just surrendering, and I froze, waiting for him to do anything, but he didn't move a bit. He seemed almost petrified and then something happened that I never thought possible and that threatened to unravel my mind.
His smell filled my nostrils. A scent that made me tingle all over my body. If I hadn't been trembling already, I would have started now at the latest. Those dark eyes that kept staring at me showed me anger, brokenness, and pain, but also warmth, joy, and happiness. The tousled fur shone from the individual rays and it almost looked like a painting... a really beautiful painting...
I wanted to take a step towards him curiously, even though I was terrified, but I was trapped, feeling hypnotized, unable to control my own body. But before I could put one foot in front of the other, he growled menacingly and showed me his sharp fangs, before circling me slowly like a wolf around his prey.
Fear and curiosity shot through me in equal measure, and I watched with excitement as he put one paw in front of the other, never taking his eyes off me, until he suddenly came closer and positioned himself right in front of me, so that I could walk into the otherwise silent forest could even hear his heartbeat.
His eyes darted over my body, then locked on mine again and he cocked his head as if lost in thought.
Should I run away? Should I touch him? Say something? And if so, what do you say to a strange wolf in the middle of the forest? Hi? That didn't really strike me as wise.
His breathing was calm and even, calming mine as well, which relaxed me a little even though I was still scared.
How did he do it? Could he control my feelings?
A thousand questions ran through my head and then, all of a sudden and unexpectedly, he turned and ran through the forest howling loudly.
My rigidity disappeared, my mind went into overdrive again and when he was no longer to be seen between the trees, I ran like a tarantula stung, back to my backpack, which was still lying between the trees at the edge of the forest.
I ran through the trees, accelerating, vowing to myself that I would never set foot in the forest again. Apparently I had more luck than sense once again and I was so grateful for that that tears of relief ran down my cheeks as I got to my backpack, put it on hastily and just kept running, confused as never before.
***
Back at school, the bell had already rung and the schoolyard and parking lot were slowly filling up with masses of people, including my brother, who was already leaning against his car.
shit man If he saw that I was coming off the street and not from the building, I'm sure he'd ask a thousand questions I didn't feel like answering.
I nervously glanced at the stairs where Sawyer and Aleya were standing, but not only that, Viola and Trevis were with them and the four seemed to get along really well, which made me frown in irritation.
Were you kidding me?
"Jady?" My brother's loud voice ripped me out of my rigidity and my eyes fell on him with wide eyes, as he looked at me in bewilderment and questioning at the same time.
I took a deep breath, swallowed hard and then ran the few meters from the street to his car, where he immediately grabbed my arm roughly.
"Where have you been!?" he asked so loudly that the eyes of those standing around were all focused on us. So much for not noticing.
Panting, I pulled my arm away from him, looked into his blue eyes and briefly considered what kind of lie I would probably tell him. Then I remembered Guiselle, who was actually one of the reasons I left and it made sense to keep quiet about everything to do with the forest and tell him the rest honestly.
"There was another forced tagging with a girl I know and I really needed some fresh air. After all, my birthday is in a week and that just scared me."
His expression was one of concern and compassion as he took a step toward me to pull me tightly into his strong chest.
"But you have me. Everyone at your school knows me as your partner. No one would dare to just tag you," he whispered in my ear and while he gently stroked my back, I thought about the black one Wolf in the forest in my head, which gave me a rapid heartbeat.
"And if I find my mate?"
Devin pulled away from me and eyed me thoughtfully before a small grin spread across his lips.
"Then we're either lucky and he's a great man, or you just reject him."
I thought for a moment what it would be like to turn down your soul mate. Terrible for sure, but better short and painful than living alongside a man who would treat you like shit.
Nodding, I then looked away from him and glanced again briefly at the stairs, where only Viola and Trevis were standing, who seemed to be watching us curiously the whole time.
"Let's drive, please," I turned back to my brother and took a deep breath.
Devin ran ahead of me to the passenger door and, as always, politely held it open for me before he got in on his side and started the engine.
"Are those the upper ones?" he then asked me, looking towards the stairs and without having to look, I knew that they were still watching us.
"Yeah, they're part of it," I said, as disinterested as I could, and then tilted my head back to close my eyes with thoughts of my fateful encounter in the woods.
Devin turned on the radio softly, hummed along softly, and luckily left me alone for the rest of the drive. I didn't want to ask any more questions as I actually hated lying to him more than that. After all, he had changed his whole life for me.
When my parents were still there, he had time for his hobbies, which he now had to give up because of his work. I was homeschooled at the time and actually wanted to work after they left, but Devin was adamant that I finish my school and he would do it on my own, so I just let him do it and, with a guilty conscience, learned the best I could went to live.
Arrived at our house, he got out first, then held my door open for me and when I ran ahead, I noticed that he didn't follow me to the front door and immediately turned to him annoyed.
"You have to go to the workshop again, don't you?"
He nodded and looked at me apologetically for a moment before I rolled my eyes and dug my key out of my backpack.
Without looking at him again, I ducked into the house, heard his car's old engine roar once, and then slammed the door behind me in frustration.
It all just seemed unfair to me, because he now almost always worked until the evening and still there was hardly enough for middle and maintenance. Maybe I should just get a job behind his back, or I'll drop out of school when I'm 18. From then on, he can't stop me, because then it would be time to make my own decisions.
I wanted to see him again with his boys at the sports field. His laugh when he scored a goal, his joy when his team won. Now worry and stress were his constant companions.
Breathing heavily, I walked through the cramped living room into my little kingdom and immediately drew the red curtains to block out the sun. The dark somehow suited me better.
I set my backpack down next to my bed and then looked at the photo, on my windowsill, of me and Devin when he received a trophy for the best forward of the final game. A memory that immediately put a wistful smile on my face before I put on my headphones, turned on music on my MP3 player and fell into bed exhausted from this chaotic day.