"Wow." I looked around the beach while walking down the shore.
"Do you like it?" James asked me, who was walking quietly behind me.
"Like it? I love it. It's really beautiful." I say looking at the waves softly hitting the shore.
When James said we were going to the island, I was so shocked at first. Like what made him change his mind? He was too fixated on the meeting and the business trip the other day. I thought about it for a long time, all the way here and at the end decided that he is not someone you can figure out in a few days and so gave up trying. From what I've heard and seen, he is a very hard person to understand and get through with.
"What happened to your business trip Mr. Astor?" I asked, turning back and still walking. It was almost noon and the sun was starting to burn my skin.
"I thought I could use a day off." He said looking at the horizon, his hair was ruffled by the wind and he kept running his fingers to keep them in place.
"I see. Just a day though?" I asked, pouting a little.
"Yeah, just a day." He said as he looked at me from the corner of his eye and I saw his lips curve a little. Was that a genuine small smile? Damn is he unpredictable.
This felt normal, if someone was watching us now, they would feel that we were actually a couple. We walked for a really long time admiring the island silently. After walking all the way to the house we freshened up.
"Woah, is that a t-shirt?" I asked gasping loudly to taunt him.
He had showered and changed into a creamy white T-shirt and baggy tracks, his hair wet and messed up. Holy-
"Yes it is and I know I look good. I can see the drool overflowing Mrs. Astor." He said smirking while sitting down by my legs on the couch.
"Is it illegal to stare at my husband when he looks that handsome?" I teased him, placing my feet on his lap.
He looked at me, genuinely shocked, I saw him breathe deeply once and then blinked a few times before returning to his normal state.
"See, about the marriage, I know this is not the right thing to do. Getting married without even knowing or meeting each other. But it was necessary for the business." He almost sounded guilty.
"Did you even know my name before we got introduced to the guests in the ceremony?" I asked him, my eyes on the ceiling.
"No."
"I knew it already. Just wanted to confirm it with you."
"See, this is a business matter, I don't want you to get caught up with any-"
"You'll be busy with your work and I'll be busy with mine. I have a job too if you don't know. So don't worry, you won't be bothered by me or my feelings. And I won't get caught up in anything, I know this was kind of a business contract." I cut him off before he said it loudly himself, pulling my legs up and curling to my side.
It was the truth but somewhere it felt like I did not want things to work out like this in my life. If I wanted to get married, it should have been by my choice, but I can't escape the truth anyways and there is no point sulking over something that is not under my control. Even if I end up falling for this guy at some point in the future, there would be no way he would accept that, knowing what he is like. So, it's just going to be the same, no matter what situation comes up.
He doesn't say anything and I doze off before I even know it. Why was I so tired, that I had to keep sleeping? I usually did not like sleeping in the afternoon because I always have some weird dreams which wake me up every time. Some felt too real while some were contextless, literally random.
"Why did you all do this? At least you could have told me now, I trusted you and this is how it ended up."
I heard James' faint voice echo as I woke up. That was the only thing that I could remember out of everything in my dream. I sit up and stretch my legs. It was twilight outside, did I sleep too much? I sighed and went to wash my face. I looked into the mirror, My eyes now looked a little more lively than they did at the marriage. The words were still going on in my head and this was making me feel weirdly anxious, I don't know why. It felt like jinxing the fact that James might come to know about the lie someday and then end up doing something really bad. Or maybe, it was just my overthinking acting up like it always does. Yeah, that should be it.
Speaking of James, where was he? I looked around the house, but couldn't find him anywhere. I went outside and found him sitting by the shore with his head tilted to the side. The sun looked so pretty as it went down the horizon. I went and sat next to him.
"Hey." I asked awkwardly.
"Had a good nap?" He asked.
"Yeah, it seems so."
"You did not eat lunch, you know that right?"
"Oh. Yeah I forgot." I sighed.
"Let's go eat and then we have to go for a ride on the cruise around the island." He said standing up and giving me his hand.
"You sure?" I said, eyeing his hand and smiling.
"Yeah." He said. smiling back.
I placed my hand on his and he pulled me up swiftly, holding it until I got steady on my feet. His hands were quite soft, I realized.
After having dinner, he told me to get ready and come out on the beach.
"Why dress up? I can come wearing this too, right?"
"No. Go get dressed." He said leaving to the other room.
He is a frustrating guy, agh! I just let go of my thoughts and got dressed. While trying to find a dress, I found a baggy long black T-shirt. I pulled it out, and went to the mirror to check its length. A few inches above the knee, perfect, I smiled at myself in the reflection. I got ready quickly and got back to the mirror. Perfect! I had put on a denim jacket and slippers to match. I didn't want to be uncomfortable as I was after I wore that dress in the club.
I went outside and found him waiting for me on the porch. He went back to being the business man, a white shirt and black pants.
"I'm ready." I said, waiting for his reaction.
"I told you to dress up. Didn't I?" He almost scowled. The first two buttons of his shirt were unbuttoned, he looked hot! I shook my head and got rid of that thought.
"I don't feel that comfortable in those dresses, you saw what happened after the club right?"
"Yeah, stripped right in front of me." He smirked.
"Are you actually teasing me?" I asked him, completely amazed. "Do you have a multiple personality disorder? And I am asking this very genuinely."
Instead of answering my question, he grabbed my hand and pulled me to him. He slipped his hand on my waist and looked down at me with a hard gaze.
"I am not how people actually think I am, Mrs. Astor." He said in a low voice, I felt shivers run through my body. I could see the danger he had bottled up in the blues of his eyes.
"I am not a bad guy, neither am I a good guy. I do what feels right to me, that's it. You don't have to be afraid." He added when he saw me looking at him like that.
"Afraid? Why would I be afraid?" I asked, pulling away and running my fingers over my hair. "You should be. Don't end up falling for me, Mr. Astor." I said walking ahead and looking over with a smile.
"I won't." He said, smiling back and joining me.
Being in the middle of an ocean on a cruise with the stars glowing brightly felt good. Listening to the waves hitting the cruise as it moved forward and the silence of the night, it was calming. I was sipping from a glass of wine and was standing on the edge to look around. James was watching me standing behind a few inches away from me.
"I am curious." He said suddenly.
"About?" I asked, turning back and leaning back on the railing.
"You."
"Me? What about me?" What was going on in his head?
"How are you so calm about all of this, the marriage?" He placed his hands in his pockets.
"What else am I supposed to do?" I ask back.
"I don't know, blame me for this or complain after I told you that nothing would happen between us or try to make me fall for you?" He sounded confused himself, as he asked me this. Seriously, what does he want me to do?
"Firstly, I don't plan on making you love me. Secondly, why would I agree if I wanted to complain about the marriage after everything?" I asked keeping the wine glass on the table next to us.
He didn't reply, his eyes were fixated at me with no sign of any emotion. Let me know what you're thinking. This was making me frustrated because he doesn't talk at all about the things he should.
He walked close to me and placed his hands on the railings trapping me. My eyes were locked in his the whole time and my heart started to beat faster.
"Are you sure that you won't get mixed up in feelings?" He asked me, his voice really low, but it made me shudder because I could hear the seriousness in his voice.
This was not going as I had planned, I didn't want to get involved with him at all, I meant what I said in the afternoon. About doing what we do, concentrating on ourselves and not interfering with each other's lives. But I don't know what was happening and where this is going to end up.
"Yes." I said looking right back at him, knowing that I will regret saying this later.