That day, Felix remembered everyone sitting around the table, the food placed on the table. His father was silently digging in and he saw his mother peeking at his father from time to time.
Felix thought maybe his mother had something to discuss with him and that's why she was trying to find the best moment. So he decided to leave the table soon since he was not very hungry either.
He quickly finished his meal, grabbing the glass and finishing the juice. But it took him some time to realise he had picked up his father's glass by mistake as he was careless and in a hurry to finish his part.
Felix saw no reaction from his father, so he apologised for being careless and ran away from the dining room saying he was tired and needed some rest. His father didn't say anything. Neither did his mother.
Felix walked to his room and lazily threw himself on the bed, but not soon after, he realised his body was hot and feverish. The maid that came to look for him to give him some snacks saw him all red and quickly informed the duke. He called a doctor, but the surprise came afterward when the doctor confirmed he was totally fine.
"How could he be fine?! Look at his face!"
The duke angrily asked the doctor, but he kept repeating the same thing.
Felix couldn't focus on anything. His whole body felt numb and he couldn't even move his lips to gather some words. It was terrifying.
He silently cried in pain for a while until his mother came there and worriedly asked if he was okay. Felix knew his mother was not that worried about him. She was worried about him because the duke was also there. She would act all kind and noble just to impress that man who never bothered to spare a glance at her.
When the doctor left, Felix was so helpless as he just gave him some painkillers which didn't help him the slightest.
That was just the beginning.
He suffered the exact same for almost ten days. He couldn't eat and the maids fed him water somehow. Right after ten days, he was back to normal. His body wasn't feeling heavy or hot. He had finally healed.
During those ten days, his mother didn't even come to visit him after the duke left for a business trip in a hurry. Neither the duke nor his mother cared about him as only the maids took care of him.
He knew his mother only loved his father. But she wanted his mother to love him. Even though she didn't love him back, he still loved her. She was his mother. He respected her and wished one day her wish would come true and his father would love his mother.
It was just a wish and a fantasy. Those things never came true.
After that, month after month, he had to suffer the exact same way every month, on that same ten days. Breathing problems, muscle pain, headaches... Felix suffered all those things at the same time.
The duke finally thought he should do something and brought more doctors to check on him. Yet, no one gave them a happy answer and they said they couldn't find what illness he was suffering from.
Things continued the same boring way. However, Felix realised some changes in his illness when he was 14 years old.
Sexual desires. And the time was limited. Before, he suffered all day for ten straight days. But lately, he got those symptoms only at night along with this new sensation. He guessed maybe the climate affected him somehow. But it was still a relief that the time he had to be in pain was lessened. It was such a blessing for him.
During his sick period where he would be in pain before, he got aroused and it continued until that ten days ended. He didn't want to tell anyone about that thinking they would look at him weirdly. So he forbade everyone to visit him during those ten days. Even though he was fine during the daytime, he still locked himself in his room until the last day, barely eating and all worn out when those ten days ended.
Locked inside those four walls, he would relieve himself or just mentally suffer while thinking about his damn life.
How did it turn out like that?
He wanted to know. The pain, the shame was too much. He wanted a cure as soon as possible. He didn't want to feel this way when one day, he would be an old man. So he moved on but only to find the truth when he searched his mother's room.
It was heartbreaking.
It was his mother's fault he suffered. She was not a good person. He had to accept it. But he already accepted it once when she decided to abandon that newborn little baby who grew up to be the little angel in his life now.
He only found out the truth behind his illness when he was around 18 years old. After his mother passed away, he cleaned up his mother's room and found her diary. He didn't want to read that. He really didn't want to know about his mother's personal life. But at that time, he got curious all of a sudden. And he had to know a lot of things that only his dead mother would know the answer to. Specially, he wanted to know what her mother's view of the world was like.
So he opened her diary, coincidentally finding out the reason for his suffering but not the answers he wished to look for.
He was stunned at first when he saw his mother mentioning his illness. At first, he was happy that his mother really thought about him and even bothered to write about him in her diary. But soon after, he realised that was not the case.
"I would have been successful only if that little brat didn't drink his glass! How come children are so annoying?! It's okay. He received his punishment, didn't he? Let him suffer since he ruined my plans. I will try again to put the drug into my husband's drink. I hope I will succeed. After that, he will be mine. He will have to crawl to my bed every month. I will make that bitch know his desires are only for me, his wife!"
Felix was disgusted with his mother again. He knew she did all kinds of evil things to get his father to her side. But...drugging him?
And the way she wrote he deserves to suffer...
It hurt so much. His mother still didn't care about him in the end. Why did he believe his mother must have at least a little affection for him hidden behind her cold behaviour? How foolish of him to think that way. He was never loved…
Felix read through her whole diary only to get exposed to all kinds of disgusting things. But he still failed to find out about the drug she used. It seemed like she had doubted her idea to write about in her diary. She hadn't written about it anywhere. Not in any other books or any other documents. Felix was left disappointed.
From what he discovered, his mother had bought it from a dark magician. That was the only thing she had mentioned and she didn't mention the place or any detail.
With the details he had, Felix realised he was suffering from the drug. And his friend guessed this effect, which then they called an illness, was something that couldn't be cured with medicine but another magic potion or something related to magic. They tried contacting magicians and even witches to find out about the drug and the healing potion to get rid of those effects that were still active in his body. But everyone said they had no idea and some even said he might never be able to get rid of it.
Luckily, he had his friend, Lucas who was also a doctor to support him whenever he was in trouble.
However, it was no secret for Felix and his other friend that Lucas became a doctor just to help Felix. Yeah, he learned medicine and even healing magic just to help Felix and repay him for saving his life.
Lucas was the one who always stood by his side other than Felix's other friend who was also aware of his condition and helped him behind the scenes. Only those two people knew about him well and those three were best friends after the incident that affected the three of them in different ways at the same time.
Felix might have even killed himself out of depression if it was not for those two. He never denied the fact that he grew up to be strong because of those two who always looked after him as if they were experienced adults and he was a child. It annoyed him but he cherished those two friends a lot.
Even though his other friend wouldn't be able to get in touch with them often, he sometimes would meet Lucas behind Felix's back and inquire about Felix's condition without letting him know. Even though he was one of the busiest people in their empire, he always had time for his two friends. Yeah, they were true friends and it was a strong friendship.
Built by trust, nothing could break their relationship. Alas, no one would dare to infer Felix's 'other friend's' life and inquire about his decisions.
No one knew but Felix really did have such a friend behind the scenes.
He and Lucas did everything to help Felix heal. Lucas gave him ideas and he willingly travelled very far to find those curing potions for him and the one that finds those places and magicians has always been their secret friend that no other people knew they had.
They tried every possible way and met all kinds of healers.
Still, they did not succeed.
It was a failure.
But what now?
There was Asher, spreading his scent and calming him, but also provoking him all of a sudden. And he just confessed he took some kind of wrong medicine to end up that way.
"Could it be that the medicine he took by mistake cures me?"
Was that the case?
Seemed like Asher dug another hole for himself. Soon, he would have to bury himself when he failed to build and keep up with those lies he never thought about.