August's throat felt constricted as he stammered, "...Edward? Is...is that you?"
The man didn't reply, not even lifting his head to face August. August felt hoarse as he asked, "...Edward? Why, why are you here?" He rubbed his eyes and shook his head, trying to see clearly. "Or is it just another one of my hallucinations? Maybe it is. After all, why would Edward be here?"
To confirm, he turned to Ivy. "I'm imagining things, right, Ivy? There isn't anyone by the door, right?"
Ivy bit her lip, a look of disgust evident on her face. "....As much as I wish to say yes, that guy really is here. Should I drive him out, brother?"
"What? Really?" August asked, stunned.
Ivy could only nod at that. August looked right at Edward, his voice still somewhat doubtful, "...Edward? Please-please, can you come forward? I-"
The man, who was still as a statue before, obeyed him at once and walked forward. He still stood at a distance from the mother and daughter pair, not daring to go nearer. He was standing far from August because even he knew that after all he did, he didn't deserve it.
August finally got a clear look at his face. It was obvious that he was here and wasn't one of his illusions.
"....Ivy, can you give us a moment to talk?" he asked quietly. There was a certain gravity in his voice that made even Ivy, who wasn't the least willing to leave him alone with Edward after what happened, stand slowly. She took her mother's hand, leading the woman away. Ava glanced at Edward, cold contempt shining in her eyes. Still, she didn't say anything and allowed herself to be led outside by her daughter, casting her son a last worried glance before finally closing the door.
"Why....why did you come? Why did you come back, Edward?...why?"
Edward didn't reply, just looking down shamefully.
August smiled bitterly, "Isn't it funny? I mean, more than half the time, I'm asking you for answers and explanations, even though they never come. Why do I still bother?" he asked himself before answering, "...I don't know. Even I myself don't know why I still love you, why I still believe in you after all this time when I clearly shouldn't. I know I'm not supposed to see you as the 'light of my life' anymore, but I still do."
"After all, since when did our hearts behave the way we wanted them to? I still love you like before even after all this." He smiled, looking out of the window. "I mean, it's pretty reasonable that you left me. After all, my emotional baggage was never your responsibility, so I technically don't have any right to hate you for your refusal to carry it anymore. I know I should thank you for all those times you didn't leave rather than demanding reasons you left, but...how?"
His tilt, his head, lips curved in melancholy. "How am I supposed to thank you for all those good times when I still love you so much? How am I supposed to move on and give you my well-wishes for your future when I'm not in it?"
Edward wanted to speak up, to explain, but no words came out. He could only listen silently, the weight of his guilt getting heavier with every word. Every bitter smile, every self-deprecating comment stabbed him in his heart, every word like a thousand cuts on his skin.
No matter how he thought about it, him saying anything would just be making excuses. He wanted to say it was Ian's fault, that his hands were bound, but even his own self knew he didn't deserve it. He...he didn't deserve August anymore, not after what he did.
"You were right. We can never change destiny." August sighed, "Edward, let's just...end it. Just like you said and wanted, right? Let's just...make this our last conversation. I'm sorry, please. I really am sorry for making you suffer like that."
"I'm sorry for clinging on to you, I'm sorry for not believing when you said you're not in love, I'm sorry...for everything. It- it was my fault for trying to repair something that was broken from the beginning, trying to save a relationship that wasn't even there in the first place."
He joined his hands apologetically and bowed. "I-...I'm sorry. I should've believed when you told me that we were never meant to be together."
"I'm sorry...I still love you." August looked up, not surprised by his lack of answer. Smiling through his tears, he admitted. "...I- I know it's wrong, but I'm still in love with you, even while knowing that you're not. I found the person I was meant to be with the moment I met you, but I know you didn't. I'll probably continue loving you for the rest of my life....but I can't do this anymore."
"Edward, I know you hate me. Before, I deluded myself that maybe you just said it to drive me away, but not so anymore. Now, I know that you really, really despise me. I perfectly understand that you don't love me anymore, you never did in the first place." He shuddered, "...I-I know you'd like nothing more than to see me dead, that's how much you hate me."
Edward wanted to deny, to argue but again, no sound came out of his mouth. He just stood rooted on the spot, even his own body not under his control anymore.
"I was even willing to do that. If my death is what will make you hate me less, then I won't have any regrets." He paused for a moment before adding, "Or so I thought."
"No regrets? Would I really have no regrets if I leave so many people grieving? Don't you think...it will be selfish of me to hurt so many people because of my own desires?"
August admitted, "...Edward, I don't think I can afford to love you anymore. My life...is a price I can't afford to pay because it isn't just mine to throw away. I have no right to hurt so many people who've been nothing but well-wishers to me for my own interest."
He paused, the next few words incredibly difficult for him to say. Yet, he hardened his heart and continued, "I'll live. Even if I have to spend the rest of my life in misery, I will. So please....just go."
"Please...let me live for the sake of all the people who care for me. Please."