"You look in deep thought." Savon looked up at Drake as he sat down next to him.
"Been rather quiet as of late." Figured, did Drake have some radar for those that were in turmoil? Was it like some coming of age that older people showed up to give advice when you were lost? It kind of made him want to laugh.
"Never realized I was a loud person." Savon said. A half smile on his face.
"Well, quiet and contemplative, more than moody and pissed looking."
"Sorry, I'll try to fix that." Drake just gave him a smile. It was rather void of people down here at the moment and that was why he was still inside. Or not somewhere away from them. Jonas still had it out for him and getting worse about it. They'd exchanged words yesterday. He'd pushed Savon very close to attacking.
Jonas started questioning him. Saying that he had to be possessed because there was no way that he was part acolyte. That it was a convenient lie to make himself look better than he was. Compared him to those low level demons and Astor. Though who else was alive that was part evil creature? No one, because that just wasn't how it worked. Except the rare select few, and unless you were from hell how would you know? So Jonas thought he was just an Astor in waiting.
Astor was not a subject that Savon took very lightly. He never told anyone here but Drake that Astor was really his father. That they literally shared blood. However he didn't see how others didn't put it together. After all he was part Acolyte, not full. They all assumed that what he had to have been brought over from the other side. That he was some kind of made freak by the rest. Not born this way, that he lied when he said it was so.
"Not complaining just wondering at it." Savon just looked at Drake coming back to now. "Today you seem a bit edgier than normal, impatient."
"I thought you said I look contemplative." He countered with a bit of a smile.
"Right now you do. Before I noticed that you were fidgeting slightly. Normally means that something is bothering you. Or something isn't where you want it."
"You get all that from a bit of fidgeting?"
"I know you. Does it have to do with Jonas?" Savon just made a rude noise.
"Jonas isn't worth my time. He's just paranoid and wants to see the fault in everything. Anything he can blame for his life. Apparently I'm his poster child for it at the moment." Savon mentioned.
"Makes Neil and Ian's dislike of you seems trivial. I'm worried about him trying something."
"Yes it does, and they haven't made any remarks to me as of late. Surprisingly they don't like him either. As for trying something," Savon gave a shrug. "I wouldn't mind the excuse."
"Wouldn't be a smart move."
"Hence why he is still alive." Savon commented, looking down at his hands for a second thinking.
'Day and a half.' Came the mental voice.
'Stop it.' He snapped at his other half. Kayla had gone with the group that went to harvest the last of the crops they had some distance from here. It was normally a two day trip to get everything. The weather was getting colder now. He stayed here, didn't really feel that his presence was wanted.
"So what is eating at you?" Drake asked. Savon found that for the first time he didn't want to share with Drake. He'd rather keep his personal feelings and thoughts to himself. As if saying them out loud was irreversible and like writing it in stone. Not that it would really change what was going on inside.
"I'm not in the mood to share." He said glancing at him.
"Can I take a guess?" Savon stared at him for a moment.
"You can, doesn't mean I want to talk." Drake gave a bit of a smile and nodded leaning forward on his knees.
"I'm going to go with Kayla." Savon just gave a shrug. "That would have been my first guess, but you are always such a hard character to pin down."
"Thanks." Savon said meaning that. He preferred to not be easily read.
"You're welcome, but what is bothering you about her? Didn't look like there was a problem. Others have noticed the two of you."
"And?" Savon said not really caring what others thought. What he found relieving was that Kayla didn't either. She didn't stop him from touching her when others were around. Didn't flinch or try to move away. It just added to her words from the other day. It felt more real, more like he could believe them and that was the problem.
He meant his words, he did care about her. He did love her, but it was far harder for him to believe her love. Even when she said it and he heard the truth. Though she hadn't said the words again. He found that he didn't really want to hear them because what if she said them and they weren't true like last time?
'Chicken.'
'You can't even feel emotions.'
'Not true, I feel joy, anger, rage and jealousy. Only have the one positive when I kill something or get to have Kayla.'
'Try to keep up with more complex ideas.'
'I'll leave it to you.'
'Hence why you go silent the moment something comes along? Where our heart is concerned?' As if to prove his words there was no response.
"And, they are wondering. Not like either of you have actually said that you are more than a passing thing." What they hell did they care? Entertainment? They better not get in his business.
"Is it a requirement that others have to know what is between us?" He said meeting Drake's gaze.
"No, but here you are a hot topic of conversation most the time. That and anything that looks interesting. Not much has gone on in a while but death."
"Let them think what they want. Doesn't make a difference to me."
"Is there more though?"
"More to what?" Savon asked deliberately missing what Drake was asking. Drake gave him a kind of annoyed look.
"You and Kayla. I've been watching and it sure looks a lot more serious than a passing thing."
"Maybe, I don't know. I don't deal well with talking about things like this." He said straight to the point. "I don't like sharing what is inside."
"I'm just listening. Besides knowing you, you're probably arguing at yourself with what you do or don't want to know. Emotions are tricky, and with you it could cause a lot of damage. Not just to yourself."
"I'm not going to go on a rampage."
"That's not exactly what I meant." Drake said giving a sigh. "I know for a fact that you have never looked at another the way that you look at her. For you it wouldn't come easy, and letting go would be even harder." Savon wasn't sure he liked how well Drake seemed to know him. At the same time it was kind of nice.
"If she doesn't feel the same way. I just don't think you would handle it all that well."
"So you think that she doesn't care?"
"No I think she does, and a lot. You, I see that other part watching her sometimes. That part of yourself not many can handle."
"She's seen more of that side than anyone else." He supplied. Though she'd never been on the receiving end of its anger. That was one thing he worried most about. That if he slipped one day, though she said that she would understand. However he would have to understand that she wouldn't just take it either.
"It's seeing you at your worst that I'm worried about." He admitted. "I haven't seen your worst, but I've seen the bad and its terrifying to say the least."
"So are you warning me that once she sees it what she feels will change." That was a huge worry for him.
"You can't know what others are thinking. Even if you can tell the truth of it." Savon looked across the room for a minute.
"My contemplative mood however isn't what I think she'll do." He said finally to him. "It's more of what she said." He figured to put Drake's mind at easy he'd just say it. Maybe it would help Savon too.
"Being?" He was quiet. Drake had a curious look on his face. Savon felt very odd inside. Something a lot like fear was there, but also elation. It was a weird mix in his opinion.
"She said she loved me. I don't know how to take that." Drake was very quiet and seemed a bit lost for words for a moment.
"She just up and said that?" Drake didn't think Kayla was one that freely admitted her emotions. She was rather careful with them like Savon was. Savon in his opinion was more extreme.
"It slipped out." He said. "After she said it she seemed rather upset. Apologized because she didn't think that I wanted to hear or deal with it."
"Do you?" Drake asked, he wasn't sure what to tell Savon. Drake had never really found someone that he'd wanted to spend his life with. Or even really be with. He did love others as friends and Savon like a son, but this kind of love was different.
This was what he was most worried about with Savon. He'd seen others have this love destroyed or stripped from them. The things that they had done after, or become at times was something horrible to behold. Be they sad or malicious. He had a feeling that Savon would be on the malicious end. Not that he was like that as a person, but the acolyte wouldn't tolerate it.
"I wasn't sure I heard her right after she said it." He rubbed his forehead for a minute. "I already know how I feel about her. What I am worried about is believing her and being wrong."
"Was she lying when she said it?"
"No." He said. "At least I don't think so. I could just ignore it and hear what I want."
"Not if you weren't prepared for what she had said. You would have heard the truth of it." Savon gave a sigh. "What about you?"
"This is a very uncomfortable conversation for me." Savon was admitting things that he found hard to admit to himself not just out loud.
"You love her?" He said as a question, but it was more of a statement. Savon met his eyes for a moment. There wasn't anything there but wanting to know. Not condemnation or that he would tell him off.
"Yes." He said finally and looked away. Drake was quiet and then gave an almost relieved sigh.
"Well, I guess if both parties are in the same boat it isn't so bad. She's less likely to run off. Does she know about Kiore?"
"Not yet."
"Astor?"
"How would you like me to start that conversation?"
"Guess you're right. You going to tell her?"
"Kiore I will. Just haven't really decided the best way yet. Astor, don't really see why it matters."
"Probably better to just tell her. Just in case." Savon gave a sigh. He felt a slight prickle on his skin and his other part stood up and took notice.
'They are back.'
"The others have returned." He said then added. "We leave tomorrow. I don't want her to go."
"You tell her that?"
"No, we need her to go. What I personally want doesn't matter. She won't stay even if I asked."
"She's smart, she'll be fine. Besides I'm sure she'll be with you the whole time."
"I know." He commented getting up and so did Drake. They moved to meet the others. They would need help unloading the food. Savon was happy for the distraction. Something to stop dwelling in his own head.