"Come on! Just a little further!'' My master called, within my memories. I had found myself torn, both terrified to disobey, yet simultaneously terrified to take even a single step further. Many might have wondered exactly why I had begun this journey trapped inside. Aren't most pets, especially well behaved ones, free to wander? Yes, and of course I was free to do so as well. Had I wished to, that is, which I very much did not.
My master had worked tirelessly to cure me of this fear of the outside world, and to heal the scars of my old trauma. He had succeeded, to some small extent. So long as he was with me, I could go out with him on errands (not immediately, but we worked up to that), and even visit the forest outskirts. Anywhere beyond that? That primal fear just locked me into place, no matter how hard I tried to fight it. My owner never shamed me for it, however. If anything, he took it as a failure on his part, which made me feel bad, which made him feel worse, which, now that I think about it, was kind of the worst possible outcome.
On this particular day, I had gone further than I had ever gone before, but had the trees not been in the way, my home would have still been clearly within view. It was also as far as I could bring myself to go. At the time I had felt that there was absolutely nothing that I wouldn't do, nowhere I wouldn't go in service to my master, but I was very much mistaken. My pace gradually slowed until my legs locked up entirely. I sat in place and softly whimpered, as the human walked further ahead and called to me. I wanted nothing more than to follow, but it was completely impossible. I had wanted to believe that I would have eagerly died for him, yet now? Now I couldn't even walk through some grass. Some servant I was.
He returned to me, and sat down on the ground next to me, and silently whittled a piece of wood, gently stroking my fur as he worked. I wasn't so silent, unable to keep from softly whimpering, both from fear and disappointment with myself. We had remained like this for quite some time, sitting silently, until he finally spoke up.
"There's nothing wrong with being afraid you know." he said, in the gentle and calming voice which, like so many other abilities of his, he has so effortlessly mastered. I looked to him, and even though I trusted him more than anyone else in the world, I still couldn't help but feel skeptical. "We all find ourselves scared sometimes. Maybe this will help a little."
He reached over, clipping a small wooden symbol to my crude leather collar. It wasn't the most finely crafted, the edges a little jagged, but even at a glance it was a recognizable facsimile of the metal holy symbol which he wore on a chain about his neck.
"Even when things look bleak, even when I'm not there, you're never really alone. There are forces, benevolent ones, I like to think, who are always watching. While there are many of us, though, there are only six of them. I imagine they must get lonely sometimes too, up there. Probably scared, too. Still, just knowing that they are there, that the world isn't as cold and cruel and random as it might look..." he paused, seemingly in deep thought, "Well, I can't honestly say that it automatically makes everything easy, but it certainly helps. They give us a little hope and courage, and in return? I figure it's our duty to give a little right back."
It really did help. Not so much the premise of Gods and higher beings, but the idea that someone was out there, someone cared, and that person was sitting right next to me. That shouldn't have been a dramatic revelation, of course, but when you're feeling scared, you often feel lonely too, no matter who else is around you. The fact that he wasn't angry or disappointed, that he actually made me a gift, and not just any gift, but a copy of his most precious position? Well, that wasn't a trivial thing.
I couldn't help wag my tail and bark excitedly as he rose to his feet. I did feel a moment of dread, however... dread that he was going to continue on, deeper into the woods, and that he would expect me to follow. I had no doubt that I could have done so, for at least a little while. As for how far I would make it, who could say. I feel like he considered hiking on as well, but instead smiled his calming smile, scratched my ear and walked back home. I was more than eager to follow.
Now, here I was, alone within those same woods. But, I wasn't truly alone, was I? At least I didn't feel it. I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared, though. I would be lying if I said that I didn't fear that each and every step towards that mysterious yellow light would be my last, that I didn't worry my legs would lock up and just refuse to take me any further.
It didn't happen, though. For all my anxiety, I had managed that feat that I so wished I had been able to accomplish back then, back when he could have seen it, and could have told me how proud he was of me. It wasn't so bad, though. I'd make sure he had the chance to do so in the future. To have him call me a very good girl, and truly feel as though I had earned the title.
It would be a lie to say I didn't have another fear as well, however. Not a fear of stopping, but one of continuing forward to face the horrors which I instinctively knew dwelled within. The vague memories of pain and dread and hopelessness came flooding back as I continued through the distantly familiar woods. I can't remember the exact source of such feelings, perhaps because it was so long ago, or perhaps because I simply didn't wish to remember. It's hard to tell. All at once, however, as I reached the entrance to the stone cavern, the lost specifics had returned to me all at once.
The cave wasn't a proper dungeon and didn't run very deep. It would have been difficult for a grown man to even stand upright within it. It was cool and offered shelter from the elements, however, which is why my younger self (how I had come to be in this place all alone I still can't recall), ran inside for protection from the rain. The problem? Something else had a similar idea, and had gotten there first.
Six shining eyes stare out from the blackness, a series of loud, overlapping hisses following as the two heads peek out from the small opening, and I know there to be another following not far behind them.
---- Warning! Significant threat detected! ----
I didn't need my instincts to tell me that, however. I remembered the way the fangs had dug into my flesh, serrated like knives, not simply piercing but cutting through the fur and skin, the seemingly two headed serpent biting deep, holding me down as that third head rose up from between them, turned around and tore into my neck.
Somehow I pulled away, somehow able to move my ravaged and barely functional body, and somehow managed to outrun the monster, even as my lifes blood was spilling out behind me. Somehow, I had escaped to the outskirts of the town, where I had collapsed, and somehow, least likely of all, a very special human had discovered me and saved my life. Not only did he heal my injuries, but he gave me a life worth living, and turned the very idea of pain into a distant and terrible memory.
Perhaps I should be traumatized at facing this danger once more. At facing the cause of my fear of not just the forest but the outside in general, but instead? Somehow all of that lingering fear melts away. There was a time when my master had rescued me from this creature, but I couldn't count on him. I shouldn't count on him. I've spent too long as it is being protected. Now, it's my turn to protect others.
--- Squire has attained Paladin rank 2! ---
--- Squire has learned the "Lay on Paws" ability! ---
Huh, why did that happen? Not that I'm complaining! I appreciate that the name is somewhat personalized, too, as I assume for humans it would be "lay on hands". The grammar of that seems a little off, though. It sounds like it lets me lay on top of my paws, which might be comfortable, but I somehow innately understand that it's actually a healing ability. That by pressing my paws to a wounded creature, I can ease their pain and close their wounds. I had experienced that very same ability in the past when my master had rescued me.
Well, no time to think about that, now. Apparently, I wasn't the only one that this creature had hurt, but I am determined to make sure that I'm the last!
Wait, no, that's not right, is it? If there is a quest given now, other people must have been hurt since then. Too bad, that sounded really cool in my head, too! The loud overlapping hissing sounds bring me back to reality, my arch nemesis apparently waiting patiently for me. Okay, it's still an evil monster, but I have to admit, I really do appreciate the courtesy.