I ask myself the question. What are humans? They have the capability to do anything. Humans are hard to understand, atleast for me. I never understood these beings. I always felt that I was different from the world. I had different ideas about life and ways to live it. Physically, compared to many animals, human beings are surprisingly fragile creatures. What other animal enters the world naked, screaming and relatively helpless, easy prey for any predator that comes along? A newborn lamb can walk within a few hours; it takes a human child about a year to stand on its own two feet. I always had this faith that love and harmony would win you the world. But, truth be told I started to lose my faith after the death of Thomas's parents. Everyday, my faith weakened and I slowly came to the side of reality. I kept telling myself that it was eventually going to be alright. The world would be a better place. I based my arguments on an old saying
"No matter how long the night the dawn shall break"
Being honest, deep down I just relied on survival after witnessing the situation the world was moving deep in.
I sat across the window on an evening. I looked outside the clouds began to gather in the sky. Up to now, the sky had been postcard-perfect, but it was changing. The beautiful cocktail-blue shade was beginning to darken into gravel-grey. Large pillows of cloud were forming, blotting out the old-gold colour of the sun.
Thomas and I went outside and as I sat with him on the grass, I heard a flicker sound. I looked over at him and I saw a cigarette in his mouth and it was lighted up. That young boy was smoking a cigarette. For a second, I was bull dozed by this. A twelve year old boy smoking a cigarette! In my heart, I surprisingly smirked a little. His first cigarette was with me, with his best friend. But, was it worth it? I seemed not to know. To feel special or that I let him down. I looked over again and he laughed and said "Shh, Don't tell Auntie. If she finds out it will be death of us both" He continued to smoke and right before putting it out, the next words that came out of his mouth tore me to shreds. "I wish I could change the world Moo. Truth is I can not. I can change myself, that way I can create a better world. Little kids like me will one day make me their inspiration. If only mom and dad were here"
He looked down and further continued "Pain changes a man"
Silence. Droplets of moisture began to drip from the leaves. They were sprinkling onto the grass like a gardener's hose. Then the rainfall became more intense. So much rain was falling that the sound blurred into one long, whirring noise. With no words being said, I looked over to him and could not tell the difference. Tears were rolling down his cheeks and at the same time it was raining. As if the sky was crying, having felt his pain.
The sun came out again, casting slanted beams of light across the meadow. Steam rose slowly from the grass. It rose up eerily and drifted mist-like towards the molten-gold sun. The image, those few minutes were so vivid that they stayed with me.
Night fell soon and Thomas and I sat in the kitchen. It was dinner time and Aunt Claira had cooked Thomas's favourtie dish "Cooked Turkey with cabbages" That not so young anymore boy was so delighted at this. He sprung out of his seat and hugged Aunt Claira and screamed at the top of his lungs "I love you! I love you so much!" She replied "Anything for my sugar plump" Moments like these made me realize that the human race was not bad after all. Some morality will always be there. Aunt Claira looked over to me and looked back at Thomas saying "Aren't you a little old now? You are a big boy Thomas"
Thomas replied "Why Yes I am! I am a man!" With saying this, both laughed at each other and I was filled with happiness and relieve, that things were going good.
We went back up to bed and Aunt Claira would sing us the lullaby once again. Thomas drifted off to sleep. As Claira left, I still wondered what does Thomas mean, when he says that he has turned into a full grown man. I just hoped and wished within my tiny heart that May God keep this family safe and sound.