CHAPTER 14 ♛
What do you do when unavoidable pain comes into your life? Because we often don't understand or know the depths of why we experience pain in life, or how it feels to give up something valuable to gain another. Even if it hurts to the point you think you cannot recover all you've lost, deep inside of us we do have hope that it can turn into some sort of saving grace that redeems us within, in the process also building something strong within us. After all, all things on earth have a purpose for their existence and everything happens for a reason. Recently I asked myself if life had it out for me, I asked if the sudden changes I had experienced weren't enough; Like Mother's recent death and being left with a younger sister I had nothing in common with I thought I had experienced real change, I thought that was the only pain fate had in store for me. It then dawned on me when this happened did I finally grasp that life had shocking things in store for me. When I thought I had seen my share of surprises, life brought them right to my doorstep. The strange but familiar woman looked like she hated being here, still, she clutched her traveling handbag that was between her armpits. She looks to be clenching her teeth. That would be something Emily would do when she was holding back a bad word.
"Can I come in while you ring Gabriella?" she heaved a sigh and I nodded.
"Sure. please come in." This will be good, Mama Gabby would know what to do in a situation like this. I opened the door, and she entered and stood in the center of the room, her tall frame was the only foreign thing in the room.
"Please sit." I showed her to the couch in the living room. She stared at me for two seconds, a hint of softness surfaced in her cold eyes, but before I could decipher what it was I saw, it vanished.
"Thank you, Ladonna." My name rolled off her tongue so easily, she pronounced it so well at the first try unlike other people I knew and still know pronounced it, they always added an extra 'o' in it. I nod with a strained smile and head for the kitchen. I picked my phone from the table beside the basket placed in the center of the table and dialed mama Gabby's number as I sat on the stool beside the counter. 'pick up, pick up' I chanted the words. Yet no answer. I dialed her number again. Still. Oh, What shall I do in this situation? I could just walk over to her restaurant, right? Wait. There's a strange woman in my house, I glanced at her, she was currently staring at the pictures on the wall beside the stairs. I couldn't possibly leave a stranger in my house, what if she decides to set it on fire with her fierce gaze and cold eyes, or decides to steal something? I shook my head at the thought. I walked towards her and stood behind her as she examined our pictures with fascination, it seemed the pictures were speaking to her in some sort of language no one could understand. Although I couldn't see anything besides our wide grins, my Mother and Emily had on our faces on my J S S 3 graduation day. Or the picture of me and Emily when we were younger. However, her eyes were trained on a picture of my Mother holding a three-year-old Emily in her arms. She tilted her head to the side in the examination.
"Mama Gabby..." she flinched at the sound of my voice but quickly composed herself.
"Yes. Go on." she snapped. I frowned.
"Um...she's not picking up my calls so I figured it would be better if...we go see her in her restaurant. It's just across the street." I pointed out with my forefinger as if she would see the restaurant from here. She looked straight at me with bored eyes.
"Is it because you think you can't trust me?"
"Yes, yes, It's totally because I can't trust you." I deadpanned. "you wouldn't leave me here if you were me." I shrugged. She sighed and looked heavenward and sighed.
"Fine, let's go."
"Okay let me change..."
"No! " I raised my brow at her reaction.
"I meant...let's hurry. We don't have time for that." I automatically nodded. Anything to get this woman out of the same space with me. We stepped out and we started walking down the driveway, then I spotted Kola, he was standing at the far end of the driveway, as if he was unsure of whether to come or stay. I started to walk towards him but I was forced to a stop by a tight grip on my arm. I whipped my head to her. Her eyes glance from my face to Kola.
"Where are you going?" she gritted out not once taking her eyes off of him, as if he was an untamed tiger that would bounce on us if we looked away. I wanted to snap at her prudish attitude, but then I saw a glimmer of fear shining in her eyes.
"It's okay..." I unwrapped her tight grip from my arm. "He's me...he's a friend." she stood afar as I walked towards Kola. He looked at me with cold eyes, his lips were set in a grim line, his worn-out clothes had seen better days, and his chin and head were full of unkempt dark hair. I stood a good foot away from him.
We stood for a while without words.
"Kola, how..."
"Joyce..." we started to speak at the same time. I smiled; a sign for him to continue. His lips were turned down as they wobbled. I had noticed that The unknown woman was standing behind me - her eyes fixed on me and Kola.
"Joyce helped me...she helped me go to a rehabilitation center to get better...to become a better person. I'll never forget her." he smiled a teary smile and he suddenly grabbed my hand, I jerked forward because of the force - so did The unknown woman. He opened my palm and dropped something crusty in my hand.
"This is nothing compared to what she did for me..." he turned sharply and started walking down the street. I hadn't realized I had shed a tear. I quickly wiped it. I opened my palm to a rumbled money that had been folded in a bundle too many times. I let out a teary chuckle.
"She never stopped did she?" she muttered behind me. More to herself than to me. I glanced at her over my shoulder and I cleared my throat, "let's go."
"Aren't you going to lock the door?" she asked with wide eyes.
"No need."
"No need?"
"Yeah, no need, it's a normal thing around here," I said with a shrug. However, she was still turning back occasionally as if her turning to look at the house would make it any safer than it already was. As we made our way to Gabby's, I noticed we were attracting a few stares. Was it because I was still in my uniform and wasn't in school? hmm...weird.
As soon as we stepped into the air-conditioned restaurant, it was scanty because most people were at work and students in school. As we walked closer to the kitchen door we heard voices of heated arguments coming from the far end of the restaurant where we usually sit. It was mama Gabby with Chief Williams. Goodness, I've never seen her so angry before.
"Uh..." I started.
"I think we're intruding on something very private," The woman spoke not taking her eyes off the scene in front of her. Mama Gabby had her hand perched on her waist as her eyes blazed fire. Once, my Maa told me mama Gabby was a spitfire back in the day they were in university, but I've never seen it firsthand. Now, I couldn't believe my eyes.
"My God William! when were you going to tell me that something like this happened to her?!"
"I was respecting her privacy..." The Chief looked calmer on the outside, yet it seemed to me he was restraining himself from punching the wall. We sat on one of the tables; we couldn't help but watch.
"Oh give me a break! I'm her mother! I need to know everything about her.." he shook his head at her words. Oh. This is about Gina. Even I got angry she didn't say anything to me about something so important to her.
"She was going to tell you," he snapped. "When?"
"I made sure she would." he rested his hand on his waist and rubbed his temples with the other.
"Look, I apologize..." he started.
"You should," she said with a glare at him. Everything was heated between them, but the huge smiling cartoon character drawn on her apron contradicted what was happening at the moment.
"Gabriella," he said in a warning tone. "I'm trying to apologize, don't interrupt."
She raised her hand in surrender.
"I promise you, I sorted out everything, after that, I made sure she would tell you. Don't you trust your daughter?"
"I do," she replied grudgingly.
"Then let her be, she'll surely open up. The girl tells you everything including what she dreams about," he said and I saw her lip twitch. So did his.
He pulled her in for a hug - which she gladly obliged, as she fought the smile that forced its way to her lips. Wait. That was it? I thought the marriage would never happen because just a moment ago they looked ready to tear each other apart. She spotted us and her eyes grew wide. I waved at her with a false smile. She released the Chief, while he went out the back door. As she walked towards us, she spread her arms wide, ready for a hug.
"Oh Donnie," She whispered close to my ears as she finally pulled me in for a tight hug. "I'm so sorry for leaving you yesterday, everything was so hectic, when I woke up this morning I thought I had been run over by a truck." she rambled. She still didn't acknowledge The unknown woman. She released me and pulled the stranger into a hug.
"Lizzy.." mama Gabby whispered. "Thank you for making it, I didn't think you would get time to come. I completely forgot to call you. Excuse my tardiness."
"It's okay Gabriella," she replied and mama Gabby rolled her eyes.
"Formal as always."
"So..." the strange woman rubbed her hands together with a breathy sigh.
"let's get to it then." We sat down on the chair. Mama Gabby's face suddenly turned solemn.
"Lizzy can I talk to you in private please?" she asked with a slight crease in - between her brows.
"Gabriella..."
"Now Elizabeth." she gritted out. the now named woman obliged grudgingly as she followed mama Gabby, who held her by the elbows as they went to the other end of the restaurant. Elizabeth. Could it be...No it couldn't be, she hasn't been around when I was younger, so why would she now? maybe my Mother's death forced her out of hiding? Ugh. I didn't understand why they were being so secretive though, what was going on? the woman looked like mama Gabby was causing her both physical and emotional pain. I observed them closely as they not so whispered harsh words back and forth. Although I didn't hear their discussion, still I was certain whatever they were saying would change my life forever.
♕ ♕ ♕ ♕
We stood awkwardly as mama Gabby locked the restaurant. I stole glances at me said the unknown woman as she stood with a stone-cold expression staring into the space in front of her. I remembered one of her pictures in my Mother's room. I'll have to dig it out and confirm this mystery that is 'Elizabeth'.
"Okay ladies, let's go." She said. We walked down the street towards our house, still getting strange glances trailing after us as we passed by. Yet no words were spoken, only feet walking down the street, the fresh air was getting warmer because of the tension between us as we trod with a purpose to our house. I opened the front door. We stepped in and we stood at the center of the living room unsure of where to begin. The most uncomfortable thing was, I had no clue what the tension was about, yet I felt that I should be uncomfortable because they were hiding something which they didn't want me to listen in. Well, If that's the case, I could make myself scarce.
"Let me go get changed out of my uniform while you two talk behind my back." I quipped and didn't bother to check mama Gabby's reaction as I sped up the stairs. I heard her yell my name in a warning tone. I hurriedly changed out of my uniform and tip-toe down the stairs, I heard their voices again bouncing against the wall, this time I decided that not a single piece of information would pass me by, so I tiptoed to the wall beside the stairs opposite my Mother's room and stood there.
"No Gabriella this is a bad idea, I came here because the lawyer that Joyce set in charge of her possession contacted me about everything, not to come here and become a babysitter for her kids!"
"Just listen to yourself..." Mama Gabby snared with so much venom in her tone, I had to convince myself she was still the same sweet woman that loved everyone and was loved as well.
"Joyce would be so disappointed at the words you're spewing from your lips..."
"Wasn't she already?'
"For goodness sake Lizzy! be sensible, this child needs you, and this is what Joyce wanted, you know that." her voice went down an octave as if she suddenly realized she was raising her voice.
"No, I won't, I mean...Joyce couldn't have been serious... I... why me?"
"Why not you? you're family." Elizabeth scoffed at that.
"Oh please," she scoffed. "you've been more of a family than I've ever been to her or her children." Her voice suddenly filled with raw emotions for the first time since I heard her speak.
"Get over yourself Elizabeth, it's time you stop running away from your past and face them...face this. Albert has..."
"Please don't say his name." She snapped. Her voice was suddenly Filled with venom as mama Gabby said Albert's name. I think I've heard that name before. Albert. Albert. Albert yes! he came here the last time. But what could a sophisticated woman be doing with someone so...so disoriented. Not that I'm looking down on him, but despite those few moments with him I think he had a good heart as huge as him.
"Gabriella! we're not here to talk about me," she hit her hand on the dining table. "I have a job that could plummet anytime I'm not in the spotlight. there's nothing for me in this small town," she stressed every word. "I cannot stay here and play house just because someone asks..."
"Shut your mouth." Mama Gabby gritted out. I could imagine her eyes blazing fire.
"Gabby..." she started but mama Gabby wouldn't let her put in a word.
"Don't compel me to say things I'll regret. However, I'll say this. This child needs you...your daughter needs you..." my heart dropped. Daughter? wait. who are they talking about? it couldn't be me or Emily right? because we have - had a mother. what is going on?
"Gabriella, I can't do it, I couldn't do it even if I pretend to..." she said through gritted teeth, her voice clogged with tears.
"What? the truth hurts? you want to go back to Lagos and continue your life as a celebrity actress?" It's no wonder I thought her face looked familiar.
"And why can't you pretend? huh? you could pretend they didn't exist for years, but you can't take up the challenge to even stay and see if you could give this a try even just for a few days?" Mama Gabby sighed as Aunt Lizzy didn't respond.
"You know what? I don't know why Joyce thought you could do this. go ahead. Do whatever pleases you. After all, you have read Joyce's written will and also your brother's yet you're still adamant about having your way. I can't do anything, everything was willed to the girls and a chosen guardian by Joyce, if you want no part in it then it's fine, we'll figure a way out."
"Gabby..." she started but I couldn't take it anymore.
"Excuse me for interrupting," I came out of my hiding place. Their heads whipped towards me.
"How long have you been eavesdropping?" came mama Gabby's question. Her face was masked with an expression I couldn't decipher. Yet I could tell she was livid. This was the kind of attitude my Mother warned me against. Still, I find it hard to give up the attitude. It always gets me into trouble. Aunt Lizzy stood up and turned her back to me, her hands perched on her waist while the other wiped her face. Was the cold, devil-may-care attitude shedding a tear?
"I know I shouldn't be listening in on your conversation but I couldn't help myself. I don't understand what is going on," I swallowed hard as I wondered if I had the right to ask the question burning in my throat.
"If anything I think has the right to know what is going on," I demanded; Trembling lips and all. Mama Gabby stared at me while Aunt - should I even call her that? I have no idea what to do. What should I deal with?
Mama gabby sighs heavily as she rubbed her hands together. A nervous quirk Gina picked up along the way.
"You're right, you deserve to know how to start your life again without your mother," her lips wobbled. She bit it to stop it from quivering.
"Yes, but I thought we had it sorted out right?" I walked closer to the table. " I thought It was a sure thing that we were staying with you," my voice cracked with a shaky chuckle. I sat on the chair opposite her, and she grabbed my hands on the table and fiddles with my fingers.
"Mama Gabby...what is...what is going on? do we owe the bank..." her eyes went wide at my question. This is what usually happens in TV dramas. The mother - who was an accountant owes the bank and mortgaged her house, leaving behind children for the family to take care of.
"Are they going to seize our house..." she shook her head. She physically struggled not to break down in front of me.
"Then why...what are all these discussions about whose child who is and who is?" I held tight onto her hands while the unknown woman watched without a word.
"Quiet girl!" mama Gabby snapped with a frown. "You're just going to go through some changes for a while, you're going to feel uncomfortable for while but I swear it will only be for a short time," she said in a firm tone.
"What kind of change? I'm going through one now and it's uncomfortable mama Gabby, I cannot have another one. So what do I need to do?" A traitor tear dropped from my left eye. I furiously wiped it away.
"Come on Donnie, just because something is new doesn't mean is always bad. We'll talk more later when I've discussed more with your Aunt Elizabeth..." she glanced at my presumed Aunt. Who now sat on the chair opposite me with a permanent scowl on her face.
"She's your Father's younger sister, which means she's family." Now that I observed closely, I could see my Father's features dotted on her features, but I don't know her. She doesn't know me either, so why give it a try of something new? everything was going so fast at the speed of light that I couldn't catch up. What happened in this family? where did everything go wrong? Uncle Seth was Mother's only family, and so is Aunt Lizzy to my Father, yet they could have just been strangers.
"She said she was staying here," I almost whispered the words out.
"I didn't exactly say I would be staying forever." She gritted out. I bowed my head. I didn't think she would be offended.
"Elizabeth." mama Gabby gave her a warning glare. She heaved a sigh. "Donna, look. You're Maa left us with a pretty big decision to make, and things aren't as easy as they seem sometimes, so we have to discuss some more of the issues on the ground before reaching a final decision about what to do. And it has to do with you girls." I nod.
"One thing is for certain though..." a teasing smile pulled her lips. "your house won't be seized, I assure you your mother doesn't have any debt with anyone. If anything I think people are indebted to her, and she left enough for your sister." she assured me with a smile. "So just go away time in your room while we talk, because I know you won't read even if I ask you to." She stated.
"Not true," I protest.
"And don't think you're off the hook about why you're not in school." I pretended I didn't hear the last sentence she said as I hurried towards my Mother's room.
♛ ♛ ♛ ♛
She's here. She's everywhere, in everything. I felt her the moment I stepped into the room. The delicate sweet floral smell of lavender that makes you feel like you're in a field filled with green and woodsy smell after rain, all at once, flooded my nostrils.
I closed the door and stood there, taking in her large bed covered with green floral bedsheets and peach-colored curtains flying around because of the breeze that was blowing in through the open window. Who unlocked the windows? It couldn't be Emily she was with me throughout yesterday. Certainly wasn't me. Except...Uncle Seth. Where was he? I haven't seen him since yesterday after he went out with an unfamiliar guest. Oh well. I plopped on her purple comfortable couch. I run my hands up and down the armrest and leaned back with a sigh. I stared at the ceiling and I closed my eyes. I wanted to stay like this for a few more minutes, to feel her around me, to feel like she was here, that I would just open my eyes and she would be there beside her wardrobe picking out clothes from her wardrobe or by her shoe rack picking out a shoe to wear. She would be squatted beside her stereo looking for calming music while she worked. Oh, how I miss my Mother. I stood up and padded towards the stereo. I crouched down and turned it on, 'true colors' soft beat filled the room. Total serenity. Then I walked around the room. Suddenly, I noticed the pictures placed on the table beside the window, I examined the pictures with squinted eyes. One of the pictures was of my Father - alone and one was of my Mother and Father. They were grinning into the camera. Then another was of Aunt Lizzy, but a younger version of her, I think that's why I never noticed it before. I took her picture and my Father's and compared them. They did look identical, they could have been twins! except she was the female version of my Pa, and he was far older than her.
Then another thing caught my eye the window seat at the far end. I walked closer to the window, and there it was my Mother's wedding ring, dangling on a gold chain. I squatted and picked it up
and held it in my palm. This is what she would always wear around her neck, why didn't she the last time? I heard a screech in the living room. What in the world...I stood up and stuffed the necklace in my trouser pockets.
"What is going on?" I entered the living room. Only to find Emily, Judith, and Vero standing with their mouths slacked open, except for Emily of course. They look to be in shock. Of what? I had no clue. Judith rushed and held Aunt Lizzy's hand, the woman looked startled at the display.
"Oh my gosh! it's you...you ..." she stuttered.
"The actress." Emily chimed in, her face passive, so I couldn't determine if she was pleased or surprised with the situation. Veronica looked equally pleased with the situation as Judith was.
"Forgive me please," Judith all but let out an excited squeal as she released my Aunt's delicate, red-painted nails. "I'm just floored that the famous Lizzy Vanni is standing right in front of me in my friend's living room." she turned to Emily, who was pouring herself a glass of water without a care in the world at the happenings around her.
"Millie, why didn't you tell me someone so important in the entertainment industry was in your house? Worse, your living room..."
"Judith control yourself." Veronica gritted out while flashing a false smile as she grabbed her friend's arm.
"It was a surprise," Emily replied from the kitchen as she dropped her cup on the counter. "we wouldn't want you to be jaded before we got here." Her tone dripped sarcasm. Aunt Lizzy stood and straightened her short floral gown as if she wasn't just idolized by a fanatic of hers.
"Gabby can we..." I interrupted her sentence.
"I've never watched any of her movies before," I said with a shrug as I walked closer to where they stood.
"What?!" Emily, Vero, and Judith exclaimed. Even my Aunt and mama Gabby could not hide their shocked expressions.
"You shouldn't be walking this earth..." Judith stated.
"You should be sued. one of her ongoing dramas is the best everywhere." Veronica said with wide eyes.
"I watched it with Maa every day." Emily chimed in with a shrug. What she said caught my Aunt's attention.
"She does?" she asked as she swallowed hard.
"Yeah, almost religiously," Emily confirmed. I do remember that TV series 'What lies in life'.
A series that Maa and Millie watched, just to pass time. I wouldn't say it was their favorite show, but I could say that it made my Mother complain a lot about what should be and what shouldn't be done. I believe she was not in agreement with the female lead character, which I now believe is Aunt Lizzy. She would often say that we shouldn't have to hide who we truly are with layers of lies as she has noticed the female lead in the drama usually does just to keep the appearance. As if she had suddenly had a vision of what lies could cause if we ever got entangled in them. Then I would ask why she would always watch it when she pretty much just complains about everything and make comments here and there, but she would say it was because the female lead was beautiful and smart - even though she was a selfish liar. However, I've never been interested in drama though. It was too much of an emotional rollercoaster.
"Gabriella, I think I would be staying for a few days."