Chereads / LIFE IN IT'S TIME / Chapter 17 - You're Not Here

Chapter 17 - You're Not Here

Chapter 16 

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The Tap. Tap. Tap. woke me up. What's going on? I strained my ears to listen to where the sound was coming from. I peeked at Emily's side of the bed, but she wasn't there, only a heap of thick fuschia-colored blankets laying on a heap on the bed. I groaned. I'd forgotten it was a school day. I concluded Emily was the one in the kitchen. I sat upright groggily, a lump hitched in my throat. Ugh…I hated falling asleep with the fan still moving. Wait, how did I fall asleep? I remember it being an impossible task yesterday. After Mama gabby left, my Aunt said something about resting. However, she did the opposite and stomped out to God knows where. I warmed up some spaghetti for me and Millie, which she unenthusiastically messed around with on her plate, and in the end, she decided to retire for the night. While I waited for my Aunt while watching TV, at the same time trying so hard - but failing to stay woke. I gave up and retired for the night also. Yet I couldn't sleep, I tossed and turned until my wooden bunk creaked, I was kept awake by the chirping bird perched outside my window, now I wished I hadn't fought so hard for the spot beside the window from Millie, my Mother said I would regret it one day, I see what she meant. I stood up and padded down the stairs, past the quiet living room to the kitchen. Emily's back was turned as she cut some onion rings coated in the batter to fry. I quietly sat on one of the high stools. My eyes roamed around the room as if in search of some feelings I was missing. My eyes descended on my mother's favorite spot on the three-seater couch in the living room. I imagined her sitting there and being engrossed in watching the news, I never knew why she paid rapt attention to it when it never seemed to interest me. She watched and read the newspaper at the same time. The door of her room opened and I saw her walking towards me wearing a white shirt and a slightly loose blue wrapper with black drawn horses on it. She padded towards me and started looking for what to cook. She looked sleepy and tired, and I instantly wished I could help her. 

"Well, you're awfully in a good mood to be cooking, I don't remember you being excited about anything yesterday." I tried to sound chipper. But she kept quiet. 

"Why are you the one cooking?" I croaked out. 

"Did you expect someone but me to do it?" she responds. Her back still turned. "I don't think your celebrity Aunt would like to get her hands dirty."

"Emily…"

"Neither do you."

"Here we go," I rolled my eyes at her words. "Let me get out of your way. I wouldn't want to get burnt by your harsh words." I stomped towards my Mothers' room. I don't know what's wrong with Emily, one minute I think we are making progress, then the next minute she switches up. I pushed open the door and it was locked. I frowned, why was it locked? I could swear it was open yesterday. I turned and started towards the guest room, five steps away from my Mother's room. I wondered if Uncle Seth was back, he did say he was going to spend a few days at his friend's place. Or did he already move back to Abuja? I heard he resides there. 

Anyway, let me go get ready for school, I don't think Miss Udi will go easy on me because my Mother died. I scurried up the three staircases to our room. The water was as cold as ice, I couldn't risk heating water, I figured avoiding Emily was the best decision for now. And taking a bath before she does will rile her up a bit. After a cold shower, I stood in front of the mirror after drying my dripping wet body, now wrapped in my purple towel, I stretched my long fingers across my brown skin and sighed at how dry it seemed. I had always envied Emily's oily smooth skin, while she complained of large pimples she compared them to 'ground nuts' on her face every time, even if they weren't. I look through piled clothes on our faded pink couch beside Emily's bed near our built-in wooden wardrobe. All the uniforms were neatly folded and placed on the couch. I sighed at the sight. I suspect Emily. She hates clutter while I was the opposite. Sometimes I doubt if I was the oldest at all. As I button up my white shirt, she barged with a small bucket of steaming hot water past me. I glared at her. Oh so, she gets hot water today. Ugh, I hate it when she seems to have the upper hand. Nonetheless, we ignored each other and went about our business. I decided I wanted to look okay today, I didn't want questions from anyone or read it on their faces asking if I was okay. Because the truth was that, I wasn't. I feel like there's a blizzard of snow inside of me and only the thought of it makes my teeth chatter. A shiver runs down my spine at the thought of going to school - the thought of speaking to humans causes nothing but dread inside of me. I sighed. 

"What are you staring so hard at?" I gasped at the sudden interruption of my thoughts. I cleared my throat and continued combing through my thick mane. 

"Do you know if Uncle Seth came back home yesterday?" I asked. She shook her head in denial. 

"No idea," she mumbled. 

I grabbed my knee socks and put them on. Everything was set, and I was good to go. I sat on my messed up bed to pack some books I had carelessly thrown on the window seat. I turned just in time to notice Emily struggling to pack her hair. She looked about to burst into anger because she was not having it her way. Always has the same problem. I sighed and walked in her direction to give her a hand. She declined when I reached out to help. I rolled my eyes and swatted her hands away. 

"You know your hair's a little bit stubborn, like you. The kinky hairs at the back of your neck are sticking up in every direction…" I muttered as I worked magic on her hair. I applied some oil and lotion to make it softer. 

I signaled to her to give me the rubber band. She hands it.

"Just help me and stop rubbing it in okay?"

"One look at you and will think you don't have a Mother…" I said absentmindedly. After I realized what I said, I cleared my throat and released her. She patted her now fine parted pattern of packing I did in the mirror. We started at one another in it, we both looked strong on the outside but we were a wreck on the inside, it was so visible, we could see it. 

"You're right, I don't have a Mother," she mumbled. 

******* 

We ate the fried chips, too large-cut fried onions, and a cup of tea Emily made. As we ate in silence, the house was too quiet - it scares me. I was too used to the busy, up-and-doing morning I, Maa, and Emily had created. I'm not sure I could ever be the same again. I don't know how to get back to normal. I'm afraid because my life has changed more than everything else out there would. I turned towards the counter where we normally kept our lunch bags, and I noticed we didn't have packed lunch anymore. I knew I grumbled every time she would pack lunch for us, that we were two grown teenagers who could at least go without food in school, after all, it was just a few hours before we were back home. Yet, she would insist that it was necessary. I secretly loved it. However, now the thought of not having the chance to feel a leap of joy every time I opened my lunch box in excitement to eat what my Mother had packed for me even when I already knew what was inside is taken away forever. I felt my chest constrict and my throat choked up with a lump of unshed tears. How was I going to get through today? 

After breakfast, we walked out to the fresh relaxing July air. I locked the house and we both stood staring at 'Duchess' on the driveway. I had to drive her again. 

"My God! I had forgotten Donna was going to be driving us to our deaths again." Emily muttered as she walked towards the sky-blue-colored car. I followed behind her.

"I'm not that bad," I said with a confident shrug as I unlocked the car doors.

"And please don't easily talk about death like that," I said with a frown as we were both seated. She turned to me with a devious smile that I have strangely missed witnessing on her lips. 

"Why? Are you scared?" she said as she strapped in her seat belt. 

"No. Not scared, terrified." I replied as I stared right into her bold eyes. She looked bolder than me. She looked like she could take on the entire world and still not tremble.