A sheen of cold sweat covered her face and arms as she breathed in heavily. Oxygen felt precious, a torment.
I'm a murderer... I killed them... I deserve to die...
With her head still buried inside the cages of her knees, she blinked open her eyes slowly. The ground had never seemed so monochrome and cold before.
Was revenge even worth it?
Succumbing felt like a much better option...
Make it end... make it all go away...
And suddenly she was being shaken by the shoulders. Warmth and cold closed in near her, and she couldn't help but shiver in disbelief.
Familiarity...
Her name was being called, and the tone was worried yet somehow stable. Experienced in some way yet still anxious. She was being pulled in closer.
Her first reaction was to thrash around in his grip, too far away from reality to realize that this was actually happening.
It was...
Just a dream...
And no matter how much she tried to wake up, the voices continued to taunt her in every way possible.
'You should have died instead...'
"I should have died instead..."
She was now being caressed, another soft yet deep voice murmuring comforting words in her ear as she tried to understand them.
"Come back..."
How?
"You aren't a murderer."
But I am. They say so...
"It wasn't your fault..."
Really?
"You're blameless."
'He's lying...'
Who?
"I'm here Birdie..."
Birdie?
And suddenly everything started to make sense again.
Slowly lifting her head out from her knees, she gazed up at him and their eyes met. It was one of those moments when she felt the silence around her more prominently than ever, the only sound she could hear was her heart thudding away loudly in her chest.
He was here...
Theo was crouched in front of her, his eyes perfectly on level with hers and his hair coming to fall over his eyes on one side. It was as if his presence was enough to wash away the waves of panic rising inside her. He wasn't dead or turning to ash... he was right here, right in front of her.
And she knew then...
His hand came to caress her cheek and she sighed as she leaned in his palm as much as she could. His touch felt like the very medicine she desired at this moment.
"Hey..." he said in the softest tone he could muster and Eva gulped, feeling her self-control slip off her like a loose leash.
"What're you doing here?" she asked, her hands still shaking, and he must have noticed as he placed his hand on her back and drew her in close.
Their faces were only a centimeter apart, but there wasn't any space left between their bodies. His heat and warmth seeped in inside her, soothing her in a way nothing else could. She gasped at his touch, her eyes closed by themselves as he rubbed her back in slow calming circular motions.
"When did this start?" he questioned, and she shook her head. The feeling of nausea was creeping in again, and she felt as if she couldn't hold it back any longer.
Pointing to the bathroom with her forefinger, she didn't have to waste time explaining as he picked her up in his arms. Quickly rushing toward the toilet, Theo set her down on the cold marble floor. Thinking that he was going to leave her now, she felt another wave of loneliness wash over her.
But he hadn't left...
She felt her hair being pulled back into a bunch at the back of her head. A warm caress down her back. Then up again. It was the only confirmation she needed to let nausea finally take over.
Puking inside the toilet and feeling horribly disgusted with herself, she heard him say, "It's ok. I'm right here, take your time."
Tears ran down her face as she backed away after a while, and he helped her stand up. Walking with his help to the sink, she washed her face and cleaned her mouth as thoroughly as she could. No matter how embarrassed she was feeling, she couldn't do anything to make him leave as he stood leaning against the doorway and watching her every move like a hawk. Her stomach felt almost hollow from the inside.
"I'm fine." she tried to tell him as she walked away, but he crouched down to pick her up again and Eva gasped at his sudden action.
He carried her to her bed, placing her down carefully as if she was an injured bird.
Wiping away her tears, she crossed her arms and looked up at him with a question mark hovering above her head.
"I was just a little sick, I'm perfectly okay now—"
"You just vomited out your whole stomach," he spoke, and she slammed her mouth shut at his words, glaring at him through her eyes as hard as she could.
"You had a bad dream, didn't you? You panicked and started worrying, not caring to call me or anybody else to help you—"
"How do you know all this?" she questioned, and he raised a brow in reply.
"It was obvious you were having a panic attack. You were shaking all over and looked pale..."
His voice faded away into the background as realization dawned on her.
"You've been through it," she whispered and through powers he had which she didn't have a clue about, he heard her loud and clear and gulped.
"What are you talking about?"
"The way you knew a panic attack had these symptoms and how you were so sure that it was a bad dream or shock that caused this," she spoke and observed his facial features.
He turned away, straightening up. "You should rest now. We'll go tomorrow to visit that man I told you about, so sleep for now. I'll tell Kai that you can't come for training since you're tired."
Ignoring his words, Eva got up to her feet from her side of the bed and approached the curtain-covered glass windows. Swinging them open, she saw sunlight shine through and lighten up the dark room. Seeing her faint reflection in the glass, she swallowed and turned around to face him.
"We can go tomorrow to visit that man, but I'm training today no matter what."
He blocked her way as she walked towards the door. "Do you see your condition right now?" he asked in a stone-cold voice, anger burning in those dark orbs that had gone back to normal now.
"Don't go easy on me just because you saw me like that." she spit out and placed her feet firmly on the ground so she wouldn't stumble.
"You want to faint during training that bad?"