After our little conversation on to be friends in the canteen, we both attend our last two classes and Erik sit with me whole time and not for even a second he left me alone, it made me feel slight uncomfortable as I am someone who enjoys some personal space. With this I means that, I do enjoy the company of people but for some time only, too much duration of togetherness brings out some negative emotions in me like, irritation, suffocated and in such situations I would be searching some escaping route.
At present, I am feeling confused how to express this to Erik, as I have in built fears in me that what if he feels like I am not comfortable with him or what if he reject me for being a friend like this or what if he got upset with me. With such thoughts in my mind I kept my mouth shut and as soon as last class get over, I excused myself and go to washroom. Here I took some time for myself, away from him and I texted Ani, so that she could join me and we can leave school together but unfortunately she replied me with an sorry emoji saying that "I am out with Seth, babes." I concluded with this that, friends can become distant when some other stranger become more dear to them.
After 10 minutes I leave the washroom and Erik standing by leaning his back on the wall in front of the washroom door. At our eye contact, I smile but he has a frown on his face and I thought now that happened. I said:
Siya: What happened??
Erik: (with a smooth flow, he came to me and with a frown now I can see worried face too) Are you okay?? You took 13 minutes in the washroom, I got worried. Is everything all right??
Siya: (shocked) Ye.. Yeah. It takes time to use washroom. Why are you worried so much???
Erik: Huhh.. Why I would be worried? It just I was waiting for too long, I got tired. So, I asked that's It.
(What the hell, he is definitely bipolar. Few minutes back he was sounding so worried and now he acted like he doesn't give any damn about me).
Siya: (confused but sternly) Cool whatever. I am leaving school, you want to join or staying back.
Erik: (sternly, with frown face) I am coming too.
Together we move to school gate and leave it from there. As we are walking on the footpath, he started the conversation:
Erik: Where do you live? I mean how you would be reaching home?
Siya: I would be taking a cab, I live 2hr away from here in lake view society. And what about you??
Erik: My friend would be coming near cab stand only. I live 1hr away from here in park avenue society.
We walked till cab stand, meanwhile I booked my cab and he also called his friend and we are waiting. Suddenly he speak,
Erik: You speak too less. It just because of me or since childhood?
Siya: Huhh actually its both. It took me sometime to get friendly with people.
Erik: Ohh okay. Umm I live in nuclear family. With my mother only and dad is no more.
Siya: (sympathetically) ohh, I am sorry to hear about it. If you don't mind can I ask something, when he got expired??
Erik: (arrogantly and sternly) he is not dead, still alive. He is not just staying with us anymore.
Before I could ask or say anything else, a bike stopped in front of us with a loud horn. Removing his helmet, he looked at me with a creepy, lustful look and a smirk on his lips. I shuddered and looked away with a disgusting face but to my surprise, Erik stand in front of me. I felt the protective, warmth and angry vibes from him. He told his friend, to wait for sometime from the till my cab and stand at a distance from us. Then Erik turned to see me, with concerned and worried full voice he asked:
Erik: Hey, Are you okay?
Siya: Ye.. Yeah I am fine. Thanks for your protection, but not needed, I am capable enough to protect my self.
Erik: (arrogantly) huhh.. I protected, what's mine. Whatever see (pointing at my back), your cab is there. Just go.
Before I could say anything, he hopped on his friends bike and leaved from there. Not even once he turned back. He is weird, arrogant, strange mood swings and wait what is this "mine." When this happened and with this thought I get inside the cab and leaved from there.
I reached home early because of less traffic though my mind is not completely with me as some thoughts playing like a loop in it and most of them are related to Erik. All I wanted to do now it to discuss my thoughts with someone. While I am getting fresh, I thought of sharing with my family but soon it came to mind they have never listened so, will they be doing it today? and then another come to mind is that, Ani is there, she would listen to me definitely.
After doing my business in washroom, I picked my phone and dialed her number but she doesn't picked it up. I called her for five times repeatedly but no one answered and now I am getting worried, she should be at home by now and it never happened that she ignored my call.. is everything alright??
However seeing that I have no choice left so, I have to go and talk to my family as all I need to do is clear my thought and a getting a solution for them is the best option. One by one I go to see them in their rooms doing their work, and that work is gossiping, watching TV, talking on phone or playing video games. I tried talking to them, when I asked them are they free? except my mom no one said yes. So, I asked her my questions in the third person point of view (This is also one of my problem, I am afraid of others reaction, they judge and rejection. Hence this way of talking solve my purpose of talking usually):
Siya: What if an strange meet you one day, you both choose to become friends and then he sometimes show you concern and worried but suddenly his behavior changed to rude, arrogant. Lastly what if they say you are mine? What all this mean??
Mom: Dear, firstly if they become friends, so they are not stranger. Secondly, sometimes people do get afraid of showing their emotions, so mood swings are normal. Lastly, mine stands for possessiveness, may be they want to protect you.
Siya: ohh okay.
I decided to leave from there, but what said next to me confused me more and shocked me too.
Mom: It's better to stay away from such person, because they can become that change in your life, which either destroy you or healed you completely. Though one thing is sure that change will happen.
And with this I ended my day, with concern, worried, confusion and shocking thoughts.